Ex gf jumped in to relationship after 6 years

[Austin6010]

Hey

Just wanted a little advice and get opinions on my situation.

 

My girl friend and I were together almost 6 years. We broke up about a month ago. She said she didn't have any feelings for me and said she wasnt happy for the last two months. She said we did not have aNY sparks or affections.

 

Our relationship was awesome. We didnt always see each other alot as i workes nights she goes to school and works weekends. I work alot to pay fkr everything so she didnt have to stress over money as i wanted her to focus on school. I wouldnt say i neglected her at all.

 

We have lived together for 4 years have a house car everything togrther. We talked about marriage and kids all the time. she decided to move in with friends.

 

She never even discussed what happened with us and did not tell me anything. I begged and pleaded for another chance. I even purposed to her because I had the ring. She said she wanted to stay friends so we did for a week. I moved all her stuff to her house got her the things she needed and hung out all the time.

 

Then I decided to do no contact she told me that she wasn't looking for anyone. A week later a best friend of mine passed away and I needed to see her she then managed to tell me she met someone on Facebook and she was talking to him 3 days after I started nc and that they really liked each other. I realised it was too late.

 

After a week of them talking i wrote her a letter and saying sorry for acting like that high lighted all thr good and bads in our relationship and how i didnt realise what i had and what she ment and how she truly changed me as person. she stopped at my house because she still has alot of things there and it was the first time we had talked about us and her new fling. I played it off as whatever.

 

She manged to ask me if I was seeing someone because I seemed happy. I said does it matter and she said she wanted to know if I was happy and over her because this new guy asked her to be her boyfriend and she wanted my approval. She also told me she is happier with him now than she ever was with me in 6 years.

 

She started partying alot eith her friends 3 weeks before all of this started. I got upset with her as I was working and paying for everything she was out and about. Her friends all did this to there ltr and are now sleeping around.

 

She still has alot of stuff at my house and she got mad when I didn't answer her. She said it would all be out in a month each time she stops she takes one thing. She always calls me before she is coming and asked how I'm doing and hopes my day is going good. And before she came in side she got Sad and said I'm just stressed but I'm happy every time she stops she seems sad. But tells me she isn't. She also got upset when I said I might move out as this was both of our dream house. She also came to my house when she was eating dinner with her friends. She left her friends to come and get one thing and then went back to dinner. She always makes it a point that I'm home to get her stuff.

 

After talking to her she is not ready for a relationship with this guy tho she said she wasnt sure if she was ready and they were taking things slow. I was very supportive and said do what makes you happy we are over and there is nothing we can do to fix it.

 

I then went into detail and told her how it was both our faults for not communicating and how it could have been fixed. She also said I was trying to make her jealous on Facebook although I never posted anything. She is the one making it look bad posting things about me saying you can't find happiness where you lost it. She never said she was in a relationship on Facebook with me but as soon as she did with this guy she changed it. She then started crying to me saying she doesn't know why people are upset or mad at her as she didn't do anything wrong. We don't talk or see each other unless ithe is about her getting stuff.

 

She is leaving me alot of mixed signals. She always makes it a point to tell me everything about him and how he deserves more of a chance than me and says he is already settled and that she is still ready tk settle but then she tells me she doesnt love me but i will always hold a special place in her heart and says itll never work again but then says maybe 10 years down the road.

 

She is never clear on why we broke up. Says one time we had no spark. Then no affection. Said we never had sex. Said we nevery did anything togrther. When we did everything together. Said we never traveled when we traveled to 4 different states in 2016. Then she says we have nothing in common when we clearly do. We even had sex thr day after we broke up and she said it ment nothing it was just sex and that is not her.

 

She is rushing things with this guy she jumped into it as she stayed at his house a week after she met him on the first date. She got in a relationship with him after 2 weeks of knowing him. She introduced him to her parents. Who I am very close with. She was very much obsessed and in love with me but not this fast.

 

She also did this 5 years ago she met some guy he told her what she wanted to here she broke up with me then realised she messed up. And came back never had a problem since. We never fight.

 

The thing that bothers me is that this new guy has slept with 100a of women I have had people all over come to me and say he is a dirt bag and only wants one thing from her then he will dump her.

 

Just trying figure out what to do let it play out and fail. Or try to fix it. Is it a rebound. Is it a fling. Should I do complete nc and get all her stuff out. Sorry for it being so long trying to give you as much detail as possible and suggestion would be great. And yes I still want her back.

Edited January 12, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs ~T

[road]

Send all of her stuff to her parent's house.

Change the locks on the doors.

Block her number and email then go NC.

Find a new woman.

 

 

She is just keeping you in backup mode because she fears there is a chance her new BF may not be long term.

[DKT3]

It's .Ore likely that she was seeing this guy while she was together with you, what you see as rushing may actually be more of her coming out..

 

Really that doesn't matter. Get her stuff out of your house then cut her off.

[Austin6010]

I would not agree more. I am working on myself and that's all that matters I gave her the world. She wasn't talking to him before I do know that. I had access to her phone and Facebook and even did a week after we broke up. I then didn't feel right knowing I could look at her stuff so I told her to change her passwords. thanks for the advice. I do know this relationship will not last because she is complete opposite of me. All he does is drink and party. she is very insecure and will not put up with that. I could just see her making it last or trying so that she doesn't look bad or like it was rushed. Anyone ever had there ex come back and apologizd and give them the truth after something like this. Could it ever work if she did come back. Not hoping or looking forward to her just wanted your thoughts. Thanks for the input.

[BluesPower]

First off OP, use a paragraph every now and then for Christ's sake.

 

Bottom line. She was cheating on you for a while, who knows how long.

 

Ghost her. And, never, ever try to beg a woman back. There are just too many out there for that foolishness.

 

FYI, when she started partying all the time is when she started cheating. Happens all the time. Don't put up with that type of behavior in a relationship either.

 

Forget her and move on...

[mikeylo]

She probably was seeing the other guy behind you and now is keeping you behind his back !

[DKT3]

Austin all the things you describe at the end of the relationship says she was involved with this guy.

 

To me, it sounds like she met this guy, some stuff happened she felt guilty but still wants to explore something with him. At the same time she wants to keep you as a option, thus the one item at a time pickup and her gauging your relationship status all the time.

 

Will she come back? Absolutely. Will it work? Sure, if your willing to share her with another guy every once in a while.

[Popsicle]

Yeah I would agree, she was seeing this other guy before you broke up. Be done with her.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

I agree with others. She did a classic move of finding faults in your relationship with you to relieve her guilt of becoming emotionally involved with the other guy while you two were still together. I also agree when she started hanging with friends more and partying is when she met him. I again agree that you are basically a back up plan. She is keeping you close so that when it doesn't work out with this new guy she can come crawling back to you.

 

There is only one option here, put her stuff out on the curb and tell her to come pick it up ASAP or it gets thrown away. Explain to her you moved on completely and wish to not speak to her right now as it doesn't seem right to continue having a close relationship with her as she is now involved with someone else. Then go no contact for a good long while. Even if deep down you want her back you can't just take her back without consiquence. Then she learns that she cant just run off with another man at any time and come crawling back to you at any moment and you will be there to take her back. You can't leave that as an option, whatever you decide to do. Less she cheat on you and up and leave a few years down the road when you have kids.

 

You sad others feel differently about her? Like she had expressed some sort of guilt without pinning it on herself? Yeah, no chance she didn't meet him when you two were together if that is the case. Her friends knew, now they lost respect for her and her actions. You are the only one who hasn't figured out she left you for another man and had thoughts of him before you two broke up. Her friends see it, they lost respect for her. We all see it, and you didn't even post that much, but it's pretty clear that she left you for him.

 

So with this thought, how does that change things? How do you wish to continue with the relationship you have with her knowing she left you for someone else? Someone no good even as you have put it. A lesser man if you will. She left you for that, how do you wish to continue with her? Are you happy being a backup plan for her when things ultimately fail for them? Are you happy being pulled left and right by her so she can use you for her own security while providing nothing for you in return? If you are OK with all that, fine. When she comes back to you, you can be happy knowing you are always her second best. Take that thought to your grave with you.

[littlebee123]

I don't think theres any proof she was cheating while you was together.

I do think she was talking to him though like getting excited, flirty, emotionally cheating basically.

She had faults with your relationship, and wasn't 100% happy, and was questioning what she wanted. this guy was basically lined up for when she decided to end things, and made it easier to end things knowing there is someone who wants her after she ends things . It seemed 'new' 'fun' 'spark' 'less committed' 'exciting' etc.

 

But theres no depth compared to the true relationship she had with you. she obv not truly emotionally available and still has feelings for you.

 

The honeymoon period will wear off, it always does. and when the excitement is over, that's when the person will realise if they are truly emotionally open to another committed relationship, and way she is acting id say no. and she will probably be back. BUT YOU MUST GOT NO CONTACT.

 

you are only hurting yourself, if you want her back and the only way is No contact whatsoever and after honeymoon period is over she may come back. she may not, but either way no point hanging around someone who isn't sure they want to be with you

[Lady2163]

I'm usually pretty much in line with Blues.

 

There is a CHANCE she wasn't cheating. It is pretty slim, though.

 

If she was dissatisfied for a while, if she was just spinning in place, if she really was no longer in love with you, then maybe she had mentally checked out of the relationship. This makes it super easy to dive into another relationship the moment it is over.

 

But, I agree with every one else. Get rid of her stuff, it's easier to just toss it, but it's also easy to be the bigger man. Take the high road if you've got the energy and time for it.

[Austin6010]

See I could see it if she checked out two months ago like she says. But I don't believe that. Maybe 3 weeks before we broke up because that's when she started partying. Funny thing is 2 months ago is when her friends came into the picture. I truly people she wasn't talking to this guy until after we broke up. But that doesn't mean she didn't meet him before. And wanted to chase him. Her friends are the ones that are doing this. She is a very insecure person. Her friends tell her they wouldn't be friends if she wasn't hot we don't have ugly friends. This girl truly is wonderful I'm just confused because everything she is doing is not her at all. Should I try and sit down with her and ask her for the truth? Or do I just let go. I would love closure or atleast no the real reason she left.

[DKT3]

See I could see it if she checked out two months ago like she says. But I don't believe that. Maybe 3 weeks before we broke up because that's when she started partying. Funny thing is 2 months ago is when her friends came into the picture. I truly people she wasn't talking to this guy until after we broke up. But that doesn't mean she didn't meet him before. And wanted to chase him. Her friends are the ones that are doing this. She is a very insecure person. Her friends tell her they wouldn't be friends if she wasn't hot we don't have ugly friends. This girl truly is wonderful I'm just confused because everything she is doing is not her at all. Should I try and sit down with her and ask her for the truth? Or do I just let go. I would love closure or atleast no the real reason she left.

 

You do realize that you are blaming every one except her for her actions

[Satu]

*snip

*This girl truly is wonderful I'm just confused because everything she is doing is not her at all. **Should I try and sit down with her and ask her for the truth? Or do I just let go. I would love closure or atleast no the real reason she left.

 

*It is her. Its who she is now.

 

**You already know the truth:

 

She left you, and is with someone else.

 

Thats the truth.

 

You should accept that reality and adapt to it.

 

No contact

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete her from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

Life goes on.

 

 

Take care.

[Marc878]

Get out of your denial. Bag all her stuf up. You aren't doing NC. Start.

 

Block everything and move on.

 

In the future never beg, plead or write a letter pouring your heart out. Makes you look weak and it's very unnattractive.

 

You can't make someone want you.

 

Move on like she did.

[Austin6010]

I'm not in denial. I'm trying to talk to other women. I'm redoing the house. I'm going back to school. I'm staying busy. She told me she had never met him till after we broke up. she has never lied before to me. Could she be yes.

 

She just blames everything on me. And it makes me wonder some time. I took it very hard to start and that's why I made all those mistakes.

 

I do not contact her for any reason she only contacts me when she wants get her stuff or wants me to pay a bill. I do not answer her. And then she gets mad and says why can't we be civil when I already told her that is all I want is to be civil she says some day she wants to be friends. Not gonna happen.

 

I just was afraid to move all her stuff as I told her I would. And she said she didn't want me to she would. She only comes by her self and never with someone.

 

I don't want to be mean as I feel it will push her closer to this guy. I'm not sure if I would even take her back. I just want her to tell me the truth on what happened.

 

Last time I asked her why she didn't come to me and tell me she wasn't happy and she said that I wouldn't have changed and if I did it would have only last a month. And that she didn't want to have to tell me. I should have noticed she wasn't happy.

 

I asked her twice before we started having problems what was wrong as she seemed sad two days. She said nothing she was just having a bad day.

 

I didn't post this to get criticism. I just wanted your thoughts. I've weighted all the options. I've played it over in my head in ever situation. Her cheating before and after leaving me and none of it adds up either way.

 

That's why I asked.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

I'm not in denial. I'm trying to talk to other women. I'm redoing the house. I'm going back to school. I'm staying busy. She told me she had never met him till after we broke up. she has never lied before to me. Could she be yes.

 

She just blames everything on me. And it makes me wonder some time. I took it very hard to start and that's why I made all those mistakes.

 

I do not contact her for any reason she only contacts me when she wants get her stuff or wants me to pay a bill. I do not answer her. And then she gets mad and says why can't we be civil when I already told her that is all I want is to be civil she says some day she wants to be friends. Not gonna happen.

 

I just was afraid to move all her stuff as I told her I would. And she said she didn't want me to she would. She only comes by her self and never with someone.

 

I don't want to be mean as I feel it will push her closer to this guy. I'm not sure if I would even take her back. I just want her to tell me the truth on what happened.

 

Last time I asked her why she didn't come to me and tell me she wasn't happy and she said that I wouldn't have changed and if I did it would have only last a month. And that she didn't want to have to tell me. I should have noticed she wasn't happy.

 

I asked her twice before we started having problems what was wrong as she seemed sad two days. She said nothing she was just having a bad day.

 

I didn't post this to get criticism. I just wanted your thoughts. I've weighted all the options. I've played it over in my head in ever situation. Her cheating before and after leaving me and none of it adds up either way.

 

That's why I asked.

 

Dude when someone is cheating, they find faults in everyone else but them which in turn lessens the guilt of cheating. You say you might not want her back but I don't believe that for a second. All your actions prove otherwise. You don't want to be mean because you feel it will push her further towards that other guy? She is already with him!! You want her back man, stop lying. That's OK to want her back. But you are going about it the wrong way. Of course she wants to stay friends with you. You are her backup plan when her relationship fails with this new guy. That's why it's so important to her. Come on man, we've already been over this. You are just driving everything we are saying home.

 

So you asked her what's wrong when she was sad. Then she later tells you, you should have noticed I wasn't happy. That she didn't want to have to tell you she wasn't happy. She didn't give you a chance to change, didn't want to give it to you is more like it because she was already becoming emotionally involved with the other guy. She isn't even good at her cover up. It's CLEAR she did meet him when you two were still together. Every time you post it becomes even more clear.

 

Lastly you posted a question and you received some criticism for your actions as well as advice and thoughts on what would be a better course of action. You admit you made mistakes in the beginning. We are telling you that you are still making mistakes. The criticism was bound to happen. People here don't want what's bad for you, so they criticize your actions that ARE bad for you. This isn't a matter of kicking a fellow while he's down, it's more knocking some sense into you. Pack her stuff up in a box. Tell her you need her to come get her things out of your house or they will be thrown away by x date. Show her you moved on. None of your actions and interactions with her shows that you have indeed moved on. Nothing in your posts suggests you have moved on. You keep leaving the door wide open for her. Shut the damn door already. Nobody is saying lock it and throw away the key, just shut the door already. If she comes back and the door was always open, you are making a huge mistake that WILL bite you later.

[Mrlonelyone]

As the others have said this sounds like she was with this guy at least emotionally if not physically before the breakup. Cheating does not have to mean sexual intercourse or even physical contact.

 

In long relationships it is common to check out emotionally long before breaking it of in practical physical ways. Consider the people who are divorced but still live in the same house maybe even still sharing a bed and sex. Yet they will date other people. That is when both people are being really honest about their feelings.

 

Your GF has not been honest about what she feels with you the man she long claimed to love. That is the problem. She has lied to you about the only thing that really matters in a relationship, feelings.

 

As others have said there is only one way to get her back and that is to let her go. Let her be with this other man and move on as if it is over. With what she has done the only way you should ever want her back is if she feels enough for you and is bold enough to reach out to you. Don't chase her.

 

One more thing...

 

After six years if the woman can just move on like that and you are not married then it might be for the best to find someone else. Being in a six year relationship shows you have the skills to be in a long term living situation. The next woman you find and want to get serious with my present you with no reason to resist marriage.

 

TL;DR: she was likely cheating emotionally before she broke it off and got physical. Checking out emotionally before the end is a common thing. She lied about this. Move on as if she wont' be back and don't chase her.

[BluesPower]

Dude when someone is cheating, they find faults in everyone else but them which in turn lessens the guilt of cheating. You say you might not want her back but I don't believe that for a second. All your actions prove otherwise. You don't want to be mean because you feel it will push her further towards that other guy? She is already with him!! You want her back man, stop lying. That's OK to want her back. But you are going about it the wrong way. Of course she wants to stay friends with you. You are her backup plan when her relationship fails with this new guy. That's why it's so important to her. Come on man, we've already been over this. You are just driving everything we are saying home.

 

So you asked her what's wrong when she was sad. Then she later tells you, you should have noticed I wasn't happy. That she didn't want to have to tell you she wasn't happy. She didn't give you a chance to change, didn't want to give it to you is more like it because she was already becoming emotionally involved with the other guy. She isn't even good at her cover up. It's CLEAR she did meet him when you two were still together. Every time you post it becomes even more clear.

 

Lastly you posted a question and you received some criticism for your actions as well as advice and thoughts on what would be a better course of action. You admit you made mistakes in the beginning. We are telling you that you are still making mistakes. The criticism was bound to happen. People here don't want what's bad for you, so they criticize your actions that ARE bad for you. This isn't a matter of kicking a fellow while he's down, it's more knocking some sense into you. Pack her stuff up in a box. Tell her you need her to come get her things out of your house or they will be thrown away by x date. Show her you moved on. None of your actions and interactions with her shows that you have indeed moved on. Nothing in your posts suggests you have moved on. You keep leaving the door wide open for her. Shut the damn door already. Nobody is saying lock it and throw away the key, just shut the door already. If she comes back and the door was always open, you are making a huge mistake that WILL bite you later.

 

I was going to leave this thread alone but Austin's last post just about made my head spin.

 

Austin, dude, you are in denial about everything, completely and totally.

 

Listen, those of us that are beating you in the head with a 2x4 are trying to make you wake up.

 

She was cheating for while before she broke up, that is the bottom line. That should help you get over her a little faster to understand that she was screwing one or more guys before she dumped you.

 

Just let this girl go, there are just so many great women out there that really want a loving man, there is no reason to waste time with a woman like this.

 

The sooner you see reality the better you will heal and the faster.

 

Good luck...

[Austin6010]

Yeah. I suppose it does all make sense now. I'm blinded. Yes I love her and want her back because I miss what we had. But it's the best if she doesn't come back. I just don't understand how she loved me so much and then how someone could just move on Evan if she was cheating. she most likely was.

 

I know that eventually she will realise what we had and how big of a dirt bag this guy is. He is thr compete opposite of me and she trys to tell me hes just like me. I just don't know if she will reconcile with me. I just want the truth even if she was cheating. I'm a very calculated person.

 

I'm truly working on myself. I'm just worried that when she does come back I will give her another chance when she doesn't deserve it.

 

It really tough for me because I know that I could have been more compassionate and showed her more love that's why I blame myself. Even if she did check out 2 months ago with out knowing this guy. She should have came to me. But she chose not to she obviously has communication problems.

 

The biggest issue for me. Is trying to talk to woman haha. Ya it sounds funny. And before her I could talk to anyone and everyone and not have a problem now I feel like I don't even know how.

 

Especially since I live in the country closest to where she grew up. So everyone knows her. Sorry I'm spilling everything. It makes it easier to talk about it than hold it in.

 

And as for her stuff I don't even know where to begin. She has so much **** here. I don't even want to move it. She has 3 bedrooms full of ****. I took all of her stuff from the other rooms and threw it in the other 3.

 

ANY suggestions on how to move on. I'm trying. I know she doesn't deserve me. I did everything for her with nothing in return. I am staying busy to keep my mind off things. But it's hard. Is there anyway to grt her out of my head? I don't want to think about her but everything I do reminds me of her. I'm normally a very strong independent person. I never thought I would feel this way about someone as when I was younger I never gave a damn about girls. Thanks for all the replies. I think I'm starting to put it all together your answers make alot more sense than mine.

[Marc878]

You go completely no contact. Which you have not. That means you never answer a call or respond to a text unless it's business related. Block all social media.

 

Bag her stuff up and put it on the porch and tell her she has until .... To pick it up.

[garabullin]

ñíÿòü êâàðòèðó â ïàâøèíñêîé ïîéìå

 

ïðåâîñõîäíîå ïðåäëîæåíèå ÷èñòàÿ, òåïëàÿ è ñâåòëàÿ êîìíàòà â äâóõ-êîìíàòíîé êâàðòèðå. äëÿ õîðîøèõ ëþäåé. áëèçêî îò ìåòðîïîëèòåíà. â çàìå÷àòåëüíîì ñîñòîÿíèè. äëÿ ïðîæèâàíèÿ åñòü âñ¸ òðåáóåìîå. óòþã. õîðîøèé ìåáåëüíûé ãàðíèòóð. 2õ

 

Moderator note:

 

I am not sure what this is supposed to be. Please change your language settings to input standard English language characters. I suspect the above is supposed to be farsi but it didn't translate. Don't do it again and carry on.

Edited January 14, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Austin6010]

Ok. I have started to move her stuff. There is just so much of it. It's crazy. I understand no contact is suppose to help me get over her. But is there any chance I will get a reconcile. I honestly would just like to know the truth. I want to move passed this and never have to think about it again. Would it be better to ask her now or wait for her to contact me which will not happen. I do not want her back but would like the truth and thats all. There is no way that I could take her back now. Knowing she has done this twice to me. And if we ever did get back together I would always worder when she would do it again.

[Marc878]

Ok. I have started to move her stuff. There is just so much of it. It's crazy. I understand no contact is suppose to help me get over her. But is there any chance I will get a reconcile. I honestly would just like to know the truth. I want to move passed this and never have to think about it again. Would it be better to ask her now or wait for her to contact me which will not happen. I do not want her back but would like the truth and thats all. There is no way that I could take her back now. Knowing she has done this twice to me. And if we ever did get back together I would always worder when she would do it again.

 

You're contradicting yourself. If you're smart you'll believe her when she dumped you.

 

Go dark get rid of her stuff and move on like she did.

 

You're keeping yourself in self imposed limbo. Hoping for that tiny sliver of hope which makes you look weak and have less value than her.

 

She's not worth your thoughts

[Austin6010]

So I just wanted to update you guys on my situation. from thr last time I posted. I'm doing alot better since then. I have realize she won't come back. And if she does. I won't be here for her as much as I want her back. She doesnt deserve it. I'm actually feel more confident and looking at other women now.

 

I just wanted your thoughts on this situation now.

 

I went lc with my ex because she still had alot of stuff at my place. Last night she stopped and picked everything up eith her new bf. I put everything on the front porch and told her to come get it. well yesterday before she came she was messaging me saying she was coming to get her stuff and her boyfriend was coming and I said then I'll put all your stuff on the porch and she said no. Please don't. she begged me to leave it in the house. I moved it anyway as I told her that I didn't want them in my house because she promised she would never bring him with. She said he was her only option with a truck.

 

She then got mad and said it was her house too. Don't forget who made you move there. We then got in a little heated discussion and I said I'm not arguing with you. I'm just not putting myself in that situation.

 

We own a car togrther and I then manged to ask her what we were going to do about it. I said you either need to take a loan out and pay ours off or get a co signer. As I'm trying to buy a new vehicle.

 

She then got mad and said I never thought you be like this and try to steal my car away and if you want it back. I'll leave it in your drive way. I never said that. It was getting heated so I told her just to call me as she was getting the wrong context from my messages.

 

She said. Yes I'll call you. So she called me and said hey whats up. I said nothing you. She said oh just going to school. I said I just wanted to talk to you about the car. I said I would never take the car from you. I just am trying to buy and new one and so on. And we settled it.

 

She then manged to go on about her new guy and life and said Idk if I should tell you this stuff and I said thats your choice. You don't have to tell me anything. We then some how got on the topic of us. And I said it's over with im not going there with you.

 

And she told me to just tell her. I said you've changed since you left. And she said everyone thinKS it's a good change. (She is drinking every weekend hanging out with people she doesn't no and just being a social butterfly) she said oh is it bad. I said. Never said that.

 

She also managed to say that she knows it was her fault and that she is really sorry for hurting me so much and that she never wanted to do that. She wants me to be happy too. Which is completely different than before. Before she told me I was the one that changed and it was my fault.

 

We also talked about how we could have fixed it and that if she would have talked to me about her not being happy that we could have changed something and she said she just didn't know how to talk to me and she didn't want to hurt me so she just left. And that I wasn't the reason she wasn't happy.

 

I also told her that a new bf isn't the reason she was so happy and she said yes I know that. She is just happy with who is has become and that he is just a plus.

 

She then asked me if I had some hot date because I wasn't going to be home. and asked how my snowmobile trip went. She also managed to break something on her car and she said that her dad was going to fix it. A month ago she told me her new bf was going to fix it and that I didn't need to worry about it and she asked me if her Dad would know how and what she needed.

 

I then said well someday I'd like to be friends down the road and that if she ever needed help I would help her and she said same with you. And that she didn't want me to help her because she felt as though she was using me and didn't want that. Yet I still wrote her a 200 dollar check haha.

 

She also said. I see the bowling alley is the new hang out and I said ya I don't go as I don't want to get in the middle of you and your bf because that's where she always goes to drink. She said. What are you talking about we have never went out drinking togrther. Which is weird they both drink every weekend.

 

She then came and got her stuff and messaged me and asked if I could come home so she could get in the house to go through and make sure everything was out. So that she didn't have to ever come back. I told her I wasn't home I was bowling. And she said ok sorry if I came off as a b.... I didn't realise it till I reread it. I hope you have a good night bowling.

 

She also told me that she would never ever lie to me and i told her that she was talking to her bf before and knew him before we broke up and she said no I didn't. I had know idea who he was. And she sent me all of there conversations when they first started talking with the time stamps and dates.and said she would never lie to me about anything. Why would she do that?

 

I am now working on me. and healing. I just wanted your thoughts. As everything she just told me is completely different from when we first broke up.