stillafool Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 If you like her tell her you respect her decision not to have sex but tell her to please respect yours and not get in your bed naked anymore. 1
Jj66 Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 If you kiss her the right way the panties have a way of taking themselves off. I had a similar experience with someone who lived 5 hours away. I met her for a beer once when I was on the road. Then we agreed to meet a few weeks later for her to show me her island hometown. After about 5 hours I kissed her. I was surprised at how vigorously she kissed me back. She suggested we ride our bikes back to her place and continue it there. We kissed in her kitchen. When I placed my hand on her breast she told me that in spite of my advertisements there would be no sex that night. I said ok, should I get a hotel? She said no, I should stay there. I could sleep in her bed and she would sleep on the couch. Ok. That works. I took my clothes off with no shame and crawled into bed. She got into the bed and with me and started kissing me. Told me again there would be no sex and she wasn't the type to change her mind. After awhile making out she asked me if I had condoms. Of course. We had lots of good sex that night. We tried the long distance thing but it didn't work out for that long. Still miss her blow jobs. She was quite accomplished at pleasing me that way. Best ever. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 To clarify, due to both a string of lousy relationships up till about 23 months ago, and at that time, a medical issue that lasted a year, she decided at that point to not date or have sex for 2 years. She is not uber-religious, but also is reevaluating when it is 'right' to first have sex in a rel. I have asked in detail and been given answers (wont post here) with enough clarity including a surgery and scars, and psychotherapy which does make sense. Now, anyone can be disordered, anyone can be unstable for a rel. If I had those answers I would not be here But the story does jive. It is 300 miles, so 2 dates with a lot more communication between dates than you do when they are 10 minutes away, different dynamic. She and I are continuing to spend about 1/2hr a day in text or call and there is a positive vibe there. I have both an attraction and long term interest in her. It is a delicate balance to evaluate a relationship without both becoming attached and taking a hit if it fails, common quandary eh. Are you at least getting some kind of sexual gratification out of this? Perhaps her using her hands on you?
Pill Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 Anyone who takes time off from sex has made some severe mistakes regarding it and doesn't have the capacity to deal with it without applying an arbitrary emotional padlock. I'd stay away from born again virgins, "trying a different way" types and those giving celibacy a shot. It's speaks of past sexual issues. Most importantly if you're not entitled to sex, she's not entitled to the build up and anticipation. 1
Author Hyperfocal Posted January 13, 2017 Author Posted January 13, 2017 Thx, pill. These matters are complex. I think it is fair for anyone who has a mental blip on their radar, to do targeted stuff to demonstrate to themselves that they have an identity and self control. I see nothing wrong with that. Sure it indicates an issue, and an interest in maturing. That said mental illness has been the crux of my OLD experiences too often... mild personality disordered ways, that's what's out there, there's a reason they are single... there's a reason I am single, c'est la vie. I must say I respect most people, and if I had to settle between "depresssed", "liar", or "dim minded" in a woman, I'd take the depressed or anxious/indecisive one anyday, respect and love her and make the best of it. Are you at least getting some kind of sexual gratification out of this? Perhaps her using her hands on you? Gratifying is a fair adjective, I was OK with just watching TV with her, I never pressure. I just ask when behaviors fail to match words, it seems this thread has offered some insight, albeit contradictory. I think she and I are meeting in about a week, we shall see then.
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