TheLastofUs Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 I'm a shy guy, pussy, or beta person whatever you guys call people who are shy. This one girl back in Community College gave me all signs of interest in other words the "green light" to approach her to ask out, etc. I was to shy to talk to her that I made her wait over a year, yes she still had interest but like I said i'm a pussy. Ever since then she started acting cold and distant and at times avoiding me. I found her on social media and we chatted couple of times, other times ignore my messages. I took the risk and told her why I never ask her because I'm shy and told her to hangout last summer. She rejected me with the bf line. Yes, I know a pussy way to ask a chick out but had no other choice left and rather say something instead of living with regrets. I knew she would reject because she started acting distant and will see me with a neutral expression when we make eye contact. I transfer to a University to finish up my major last semester. Little did I know she also attends here too and now been acting weird with me I guess cause of the rejection, she would act like I don't exist and other times just look straight ahead. There's been few times that she glances at me or look at me for a few seconds and continue walking with her head down. This semester, again I see her around, she notice me and walk pass me with smile, she seem happy. At this point I'm tired of not doing anything. I always see each new semester and feel like just start talking to her at this point to stop this awkwardness and be comfortable with each other instead acting strange. I don't if that's a great idea that's why I'm asking cause I don't want to be in the friendzone. Friends tell me to just talk to her but not to the point of being friends. Is weird cause I can talk to average and attractive girls fine and not act stupid but I act nervous and shy when a girl I like reciprocate interest back that's when I begin to be shy. Can you guys help me out
Brittybritt92 Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 ...first I think you should reread what you wrote. You sound like you aren't very confident with yourself! A guy can become instantly more attractive to a woman if he has confidence in himself! The opposite is also true, basically "if you dont like you, how can I like you?" I'm not saying being shy necessarily means you aren't confident. But you need to believe in yourself and your value. She obviously was into you but maybe she got uncomfortable when you began to project your insecurities on her... calling yourself a pussy is not attractive to a woman!!
junebug1 Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 (edited) I'm confused, when did she start acting weird? She told you she had a boyfriend? Does she? I'm not really sure why she started acting weird around you. One possibility could be that she isn't romantically interested in you but doesnt dislike you as a person, so she was acting awkward at first but is now trying to at least be somewhat friendly and not awkward. You did say that she declined your advances? What did she do or say to give you the idea that she's interested? Might not want to use the term pussy in front of her tho. Even if she doesn't find it unattractive, it could be an offensive/sexist term. I don't know her though. And I'm not trying to push this thinking on people. It's just good to be aware that it can be offensive, especially if you're trying to pursue a girl. Edited January 11, 2017 by junebug1
Author TheLastofUs Posted January 12, 2017 Author Posted January 12, 2017 I never called my self a pussy to her. I did told her I was shy and wanted to hangout sometime but she rejected me i guess move on
Author TheLastofUs Posted January 12, 2017 Author Posted January 12, 2017 The reason why I say she was intrested was because she would gaze to my eyes, glance at me, smirks and it was only to me. Now I did started th eye contact so I assume she was attracted but never even talk to her.Never called her pussy, etc. She said she had a bf but was true so this is where I'm at
Author TheLastofUs Posted January 12, 2017 Author Posted January 12, 2017 I'm confused, when did she start acting weird? She told you she had a boyfriend? Does she? I'm not really sure why she started acting weird around you. One possibility could be that she isn't romantically interested in you but doesnt dislike you as a person, so she was acting awkward at first but is now trying to at least be somewhat friendly and not awkward. You did say that she declined your advances? What did she do or say to give you the idea that she's interested? Might not want to use the term pussy in front of her tho. Even if she doesn't find it unattractive, it could be an offensive/sexist term. I don't know her though. And I'm not trying to push this thinking on people. It's just good to be aware that it can be offensive, especially if you're trying to pursue a girl. The reason why I say she was intrested was because she would gaze to my eyes, glance at me, smirks and it was only to me. Now I did started th eye contact so I assume she was attracted but never even talk to her.Never called her pussy, etc. She said she had a bf but was true so this is where I'm at. I think she acted weird cause she rejected me
Author TheLastofUs Posted January 12, 2017 Author Posted January 12, 2017 ...first I think you should reread what you wrote. You sound like you aren't very confident with yourself! A guy can become instantly more attractive to a woman if he has confidence in himself! The opposite is also true, basically "if you dont like you, how can I like you?" I'm not saying being shy necessarily means you aren't confident. But you need to believe in yourself and your value. She obviously was into you but maybe she got uncomfortable when you began to project your insecurities on her... calling yourself a pussy is not attractive to a woman!! I never called myself a pussy in front of her. I told her on text I wanted to ask you out for awhile but couldn't cause I was shy, etc she replied "awe but I honestly have a bf" bit seems there is no indication of a bf on social media
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 There was nothing wrong with contacting her on social media and expressing your interest. Like you said, it was the only option available at the time. If she had been interested, she would have been happy to accept. Unfortunately, she isn't interested, which is why she is giving you the brush off now. She knows your intentions and she doesn't want to give you the wrong idea. It may seem a bit harsh, but it is better than false hope. My advice would be to write this off as a lost cause, and explore other options. Some people are so crippled by shyness they can't even get as far as you did, so try not to be so hard on yourself.
basil67 Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 She was interested. But you took too long and missed the boat. She lost interest and now apparently has another boyfriend. And even if she's lying about a boyfriend, it's obviously too late now. Time to move on.
mightycpa Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 She's acting that way because you didn't respond to her signals. In her mind, that meant HE IS NOT ATTRACTED TO ME which at first was accompanied by WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? but soon, that turned into WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? and then the only thing that made her feel better was I DON'T LIKE HIM. HE'S A _____________. and that was when she went cold on you. If you are talking to her, you need to get on the stick right away. You could go with something like this: Hey, remember back when we first met in Community College? I had such a crush on you! You're so attractive and nice, and I didn't have any confidence at all. I thought you were way out of my league. But since then, I've gotten traded up to the majors. I'm going to (wherever it is you'd go that is not dinner) this Saturday. Would you like to go with me? Or, you can be true to your shy-guy self, and count yourself lucky if you can even get into the friendzone.
Author TheLastofUs Posted January 12, 2017 Author Posted January 12, 2017 She was interested. But you took too long and missed the boat. She lost interest and now apparently has another boyfriend. And even if she's lying about a boyfriend, it's obviously too late now. Time to move on. Yeah I know but it bugs me that's she still acting cold at this point I rather be friends but to her is a no I guess. Recently she started to acknowledge me and looking straight to my face but still
Author TheLastofUs Posted January 12, 2017 Author Posted January 12, 2017 She's acting that way because you didn't respond to her signals. In her mind, that meant HE IS NOT ATTRACTED TO ME which at first was accompanied by WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? but soon, that turned into WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? and then the only thing that made her feel better was I DON'T LIKE HIM. HE'S A _____________. and that was when she went cold on you. If you are talking to her, you need to get on the stick right away. You could go with something like this: Or, you can be true to your shy-guy self, and count yourself lucky if you can even get into the friendzone. I planning on talking to her in person but is up to her if she even wants to be friends. At this point I understand is over but to still be cold is overdoing it is fine if someone rejects me but acting like this is bogus from anyone
Author TheLastofUs Posted January 12, 2017 Author Posted January 12, 2017 There was nothing wrong with contacting her on social media and expressing your interest. Like you said, it was the only option available at the time. If she had been interested, she would have been happy to accept. Unfortunately, she isn't interested, which is why she is giving you the brush off now. She knows your intentions and she doesn't want to give you the wrong idea. It may seem a bit harsh, but it is better than false hope. My advice would be to write this off as a lost cause, and explore other options. Some people are so crippled by shyness they can't even get as far as you did, so try not to be so hard on yourself. I guess your right but is still funny how she follows me on social media is fine there but in person different story
Miss Peach Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 My BF almost did what you did OP. I told him if he had done that I would have either thought he wasn't interested or friendzoned him. I don't know why, but for some reason he actually asked me out on a date when I green lighted him. On the date he made a move on me (though I had to stand by my car for a really long time before he kissed me).
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