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Boyfriend's female friend staying in his flat


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I would ask to meet her, and ask about their history. I don't have any problems with having opposite sex friends, or having them come to visit - I trust my partners, unless I have a reason not to. If they actually violate my trust, they're history, but I will not tell them what to do, or even tell them that I am uncomfortable. I would make it clear that romantic or sexual contact of any kind is a deal breaker. I only care about what they actually do that is contrary to exclusivity, if we've agreed to that.

 

I do have problems with double standards, though. I might test those boundaries by inviting an opposite sex friend to stay with me, too, just to establish that we can't have different boundaries without good reason (such as having violated them before).

 

When dating, my wife and I both had (and still do) opposite sex friends who would come to visit a while, or we'd go to visit them. It seems pretty natural as long as there is trust and good boundaries. We see no difference from having a same sex friend visit - a friend is a friend.

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