MidnightMagic Posted July 19, 2005 Posted July 19, 2005 Just curious How do men really feel about overweight women. This is my problem. I am fine with the way that I look, truly I am, well when I have clothes on that is. But I am currently seeing a new man and just feel ugly when we are being passionate. I get all nervous and I hate myself. I don't have a negative self esteem, but lately when we are together, I am feeling ugly. I have a great outgoing personality. And I have been told that I am attractive. I am 5'5" dirty blonder long curly hair with blue eyes. Last time I weighed myself I was 230. I know, not really dating mater But that is where it ends. People have told me that people will like you for who you are, because I make up for it in other ways, but the negativity is always in my mind. Just wanted some thoughts from the men, so that I don't feel so bad. Tell me it like it is, you don't have to sugar coat it. Thanks
slimjim Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 well, i think men in general dont like their women to be too big. maybe its important in the initial dating process as to attractiveness, and then it doesnt matter as much as one gets to know the inside of the person. But for some people, there is an emotional need for their mates to be physically attractive on the outside and dont want their SO to get heavy. nothing wrong with this view to me either. our society promotes skinny as attractive and this aids in molding our perceptions. it seems that your guy doesnt mind, and thats ok. if you mind, then you can do something about it if you have the will power. Do it not only for appearance but for health reasons. but more importantly, if you do it, do it for yourself. But if your guy is into it, i wouldnt fret---maybe he likes a "lotta woman". i guess you could always ask him. good luck
RecordProducer Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 Mean or men? Or mean men? what would Freud say about the slip of your finger? I think those men who like slim girls and dislike big will not care about their personalities. However some men love overweight women, some don't mind it especially if they are overweight themselves. If you look at the porn sites you will see that big women also have their market, just like older women do. Some men actually prefer older women although they might be less attractive than the young ones. A friend of mine who is 39 hit on my mom who is 55 and never on me. He simply likes older chicks. same with weight. Unfortunately they are significantly more rare than those who like slim women so it's always better to be thin, not to mention the health aspects. I believe if your BF loves you he certainly loves your body the way it is.
Zaira Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 Real men go beyond just looks. There are also men out there that would prefer larger women. If you are happy with yourself, then someone else will be too when the time is right.
erika2610 Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by MidnightMagic Just curious How do men really feel about overweight women. This is my problem. I am fine with the way that I look, truly I am, well when I have clothes on that is. But I am currently seeing a new man and just feel ugly when we are being passionate. I get all nervous and I hate myself. I don't have a negative self esteem, but lately when we are together, I am feeling ugly. I have a great outgoing personality. And I have been told that I am attractive. I am 5'5" dirty blonder long curly hair with blue eyes. Last time I weighed myself I was 230. I know, not really dating mater But that is where it ends. People have told me that people will like you for who you are, because I make up for it in other ways, but the negativity is always in my mind. Just wanted some thoughts from the men, so that I don't feel so bad. Tell me it like it is, you don't have to sugar coat it. Thanks We all have our own insecurities.. everybody at one point or another has felt ugly. If he likes you for you, it won't matter. Plus not every man out there like tiny little barbie type girls..
Icarus Posted July 20, 2005 Posted July 20, 2005 I was actually going to post a question comment related to yours last night, but opted against it because I couldn't really come up with a solid question. I mostly just typed my thoughts ... and saved them, so here they are: ------ I'm on new ground with a new gal. We're both early 30's. Let's just say ... she's not what I would ever consider my "ideal" as far as dating goes. Her parents are divorced and she was on shaky ground with her dad for years (much better now). I'm from a "Cleaver"-like family. Totally different educational backgrounds (me on the ++ side). She's divorced with a pre-teen, and I'm neither and never really saw myself getting involved with someone with kids. Build-wise, I'd call myself fit and she definitely carries some extra weight (though she’s lost around 100# recently - I was impressed!). I suppose regardless of the other things, the extra pounds would have ordinarily kept me from ever approaching her as a stranger and asking her out. Sounds shallow, but given an option, I’d prefer to date a woman clearly smaller than myself. But … here's the hitch: I really like this woman! She's sweet, fun, funny, smart, cute, a gorgeous smile and eyes, affectionate, sincere, adventurous, great kisser, good mother, and I like her kid. What got me I guess is that she doesn’t seem to give our apparent differences a second thought; she’s comfortable and confident about who she is, and it shows. Despite all my reservations, something told me that this one deserves a chance ... and I've really been enjoying her company when we’re together. She makes me smile and laugh, so we’ll see how it goes.
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