CantEversay Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 I once talked with a girl who was training to be a psychologist on a help chat website. The major thing she told me at the time was "actions speak louder than words". She told me that even if my partner said she loved me more than anything in the world, it was meaningless. I didn't want to believe that even though it did make some sense to me. I was using the relationship I had to really think about it. I compared my actions to my partners and mine outweighed hers by a lot. ****... it's sad to say I can't think of 1 immediate action she's done to show her love to me. I've done a lot for her. I don't know if I can still really believe it, maybe she just had her own way of showing her love. She did stay by my side for years when I didn't have anyone else and was depressed. It's just now that she's left I can't help but think if that girl was right all along. Do words mean anything in a relationship? To be fair, my partner has said some really beautiful things to me in the past at times where I really needed to hear it.
PegNosePete Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 Yes, words absolutely do mean something. But only when they are backed up by actions. If someone says they love you but their actions (or lack thereof) dictate otherwise, it is the actions you should trust. 4
arsenalfan77 Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 Words are nice to hear, and they DO mean something, but only if they are followed by action to back them up. I recently broke up with a girl who laid it on thick! She said we were soul mates, twin flames, that she could'nt imagine being with anyone else, that I was her best friend, I made her feel special, that she would do anything for me, and on and on. Guess what? All BS! She never did any of the things I told her were important to me, claiming that she just wasn't that way, that she expressed her love "in different ways". The truth is that if you love someone, you do what is important for them because you put your feelings before theirs. If you feel you did way more for her than she ever did for you, then she wasn't the one for you....that simple.
Redhead14 Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 I once talked with a girl who was training to be a psychologist on a help chat website. The major thing she told me at the time was "actions speak louder than words". She told me that even if my partner said she loved me more than anything in the world, it was meaningless. I didn't want to believe that even though it did make some sense to me. I was using the relationship I had to really think about it. I compared my actions to my partners and mine outweighed hers by a lot. ****... it's sad to say I can't think of 1 immediate action she's done to show her love to me. I've done a lot for her. I don't know if I can still really believe it, maybe she just had her own way of showing her love. She did stay by my side for years when I didn't have anyone else and was depressed. It's just now that she's left I can't help but think if that girl was right all along. Do words mean anything in a relationship? To be fair, my partner has said some really beautiful things to me in the past at times where I really needed to hear it. A man can tell a woman he loves her and then turns around and hits her. Some men can't/don't say I love you or often, at least, but treats her like gold every day. Everything he does shows her she is his #1 priority. I'd rather have fewer words and tons of action, than just the words.
CommittedToThis Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 Do words mean anything in a relationship? Only when they are backed-up by actions; talk is easy, cheap. Actions are where the truth lies. Make your choice based on what she does, not what she says. Trust me on this one, all the best.
jamili Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 A man can tell a woman he loves her and then turns around and hits her. Some men can't/don't say I love you or often, at least, but treats her like gold every day. Everything he does shows her she is his #1 priority. I'd rather have fewer words and tons of action, than just the words. If a man makes his gf his #1 priority, i can almost guarantee she will dump him for it.
Redhead14 Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 If a man makes his gf his #1 priority, i can almost guarantee she will dump him for it. Jaded much?
Michelle ma Belle Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 I suggest you read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. According to his theory, each person has one primary love language. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that THEY prefer to receive love. The 5 love languages are; 1. Words of Affirmation 2. Quality Time 3. Physical Touch 4. Receiving Gifts 5. Acts of Service In your case, in order for YOU to feel loved, you may want/need your partner to DO things for you as in "actions speak louder than words" which may show up as Acts of Service. In your girlfriend's case, she may have needed and therefore showed love very differently which is why you found yourself making that list and checking it twice and found yourself feeling like you got shafted somehow. The real work begins only after you figured out each of your love languages. The goal is to then deliver the love language your partner needs and they in turn give you what you want and need and therefore you're both getting exactly what need to feel loved. Anyways, it's a great book and worth a read. 1
jamili Posted January 13, 2017 Posted January 13, 2017 Jaded much? I'm not speaking from personal experience. I mean this objectively.
Author CantEversay Posted January 18, 2017 Author Posted January 18, 2017 I suggest you read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. According to his theory, each person has one primary love language. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that THEY prefer to receive love. The 5 love languages are; 1. Words of Affirmation 2. Quality Time 3. Physical Touch 4. Receiving Gifts 5. Acts of Service In your case, in order for YOU to feel loved, you may want/need your partner to DO things for you as in "actions speak louder than words" which may show up as Acts of Service. In your girlfriend's case, she may have needed and therefore showed love very differently which is why you found yourself making that list and checking it twice and found yourself feeling like you got shafted somehow. The real work begins only after you figured out each of your love languages. The goal is to then deliver the love language your partner needs and they in turn give you what you want and need and therefore you're both getting exactly what need to feel loved. Anyways, it's a great book and worth a read. Wow, thanks very much! I appreciate it I'm currently talking to her again because she contacted me. I don't know what to think anymore. I have to give this some real thought and make sure that she is giving something to show she cares. The one thing I can say she has given me is quality time. I always had that from her. I should be grateful for that.
mightycpa Posted January 18, 2017 Posted January 18, 2017 OP, you may want to consider that sometimes, it's as simple as getting to know one another well that changes things. It's not that one is better or worse, it's just that sometimes you don't match up well. You can do a lot of things, but you can't force it to work. That she doesn't love you today doesn't mean that she didn't at some time in the past. It just changed, that's all. To ask why is a fruitless pursuit, and in the end, it doesn't really matter, because it was always out of your control.
preraph Posted January 18, 2017 Posted January 18, 2017 Some people have a shallow capacity for love and will spew love words at you freely but have no real concept how to deeply love means responsibility, loyalty and that if you love someone, the very last thing you'd want to do is hurt them. And yet, we see people all the time who freely go about hurting the one they say they love by their incongruous and selfish actions. Words can be very nice but actions are what you have to do the real measurement by. 2
Been Posted January 18, 2017 Posted January 18, 2017 Yes without actions words are worth nothing. You have to back up what you say. Simple as that. 1
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