It's been 10 months, and the most unexpected scenario is about to happen.

[cell2k15]

Ok, get ready for this one. It's as if life wants me to keep thinking about my ex, and put me next to her.

 

I started a long distance relationship with an amazing girl (back then) in May 2015. I lived in the UK, and she lived in the US. I was in a fortunate position career wise where I was able to afford fairly regular trips over to see her, as she was just starting college (I was 22, and she was 18). Things were going great, I saw her for Christmas, New Years, her birthday and so on - we spent almost 1 and a half months together in total.

 

Things however, began to crumble at around March 2016. The distance was starting to take it's toll, and she was coming out of her shell a lot more socially as she spent more time at college. She was also very much into seeing bands live, taking pictures of them (she was awesome at photography and people paid her for work), and along came her every growing list of guy friends - as you'd expect the mild jealousy on my end kicked in, things got a progressively more tense, we started talking less as she got more busy and I think we just grew tired of the situation. I also get that she might have felt somewhat 'tied down' by being in a long distance relationship.

 

Along comes May 2016 and we break up - sadly not in person but over the phone instead. I was going to fly out to see her, but decided it wasn't a good idea. Just 2 weeks later, she was dating a guy in a band and that pretty much hit home for me - she no longer cared, and there's a real good chance she was probably messing about with this guy but lying to me about it.

 

It was at that moment I realised I'd lost her for good, and I was stupid to think a long distance relationship would even be viable long term without a specific plan in place to close the distance. We pretty much cut contact at that point, and any communication we did have was just full of bitterness and anger - mostly on my side.

 

Since then, every 2 or so months, one of us seems to reach out to each other, and we end up having a 'catch up' phone call which is just as natural as when we used to speak, and then contact goes dead again for another 2 months for the cycle to end up repeating.

 

Well, here's the funny bit.... I'm relocating to the US for work, to the same state, to the very same neighbourhood that she lives in (it's where one of the offices is), and potentially in a work environment with people that she might actually know socially.

 

On top of that, I've never really fully got over her - I felt like I never got closure from the situation because we never met face to face since. I still find myself thinking about her every single day, wanting to reach out, checking her social media daily, and thinking about "what could have been" if the distance was closed - which is now actually about to happen. Whilst she's well and truly moved on and racking up her "encounters" with all her band guys she seems to be obsessed with, I haven't really ventured out all that much dating wise in the last 10 months - I've had a couple of things here and there, but nothing close to serious.

 

I'm at a crossroads where I feel like I really want to meet up when I finally move, but at the same time another part of me thinks I should rid myself of this situation, but for some reason I'm struggling to get over her.

 

I'm at this crazy situation where I'm essentially fulfilling the "promise" I gave at the time - as I think anyone does in a LDR - that I would find a way to close the distance one day - and in the moment of the relationship you kind of fall into a false sense of it being a possibility. On top of that, I think I'm still in love with the girl to this day, but I'm absolutely lost.

 

Someone knock some sense in to me here. What should I do?

Edited January 9, 2017 by cell2k15

[Sweetfish]

.. update your social media... but dont engage or tell her directly your moving there... let her make all the moves.