Author divegrl Posted January 30, 2017 Author Posted January 30, 2017 Why do we communicate about emotional things by text message? In my experience, no.good ever comes of it. In.person is best. Phone call next. Avoid texting if at all possible . This makes a lot of sense. I think I will call him, and we can meet up to talk. If he ignores my call then I have my answer. When we meet I can ask him to tell me exactly where he is at... and make my decision from there. Thank you
Raena Posted January 30, 2017 Posted January 30, 2017 Thank you Raena He basically just stopped responding to my phone calls emails. I talked with one of our mutual friends who said that I was the first person my ex loved and that my ex had a lot to deal with right now. I know this does not justify his actions. At that point i blocked him so he could not contact me. My ex is also 9 years younger than me.... i don't know if that has anything to do with maturity level and the ability to handle a relationship... he is 26. I'm just not thinking clearly right now. Nothing makes sense. I feel like someone has punched the air out of my gut. Honestly I love him... and would want to get back together.... but i just don't understand his actions. I'm just trembling... like I can't move. Has anyone ever felt this? Thank you my friends. His age and the fact that you have children does matter. Really, he should have taken his time getting to know you and not just jump in head first without thinking about the consequences of this not working out. Has he met your children? Is this impacting them as well? 1
Author divegrl Posted January 30, 2017 Author Posted January 30, 2017 His age and the fact that you have children does matter. Really, he should have taken his time getting to know you and not just jump in head first without thinking about the consequences of this not working out. Has he met your children? Is this impacting them as well? Thank you for your response Raena and I def agree. This was the first relationship I had post divorce and with kids. This was my exs first serious relationship.... and he had never dated anyone with kids. During our relationship we were both very sensitive to the kids. My ex husband and I made a rule that we would not introduce someone to the kids as a significant other until engagement. My ex and I spent lots of time with the kids together, but there was no affection when the kids were there. The kids thought of him as a good friend. It hindsight I think this was a great decision. I feel like a carpet as been pulled from underneath me. I am immensely scared. 1
Raena Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 I can imagine you are scared. Losing your job is tough, losing it when you have children to feed is frightening. I hope they gave you severance pay at least so you have something to help until you get a new job. As for the guy... well, if he isn't making an effort other than texting platitudes every once in awhile then he really isn't worth it. If it were really that important to him he'd show up at your house and explain what happened and talk about it. He'd make an effort. Don't waste your time worrying about him. You have bigger fish to fry so to speak. 2
Author divegrl Posted January 31, 2017 Author Posted January 31, 2017 I can imagine you are scared. Losing your job is tough, losing it when you have children to feed is frightening. I hope they gave you severance pay at least so you have something to help until you get a new job. As for the guy... well, if he isn't making an effort other than texting platitudes every once in awhile then he really isn't worth it. If it were really that important to him he'd show up at your house and explain what happened and talk about it. He'd make an effort. Don't waste your time worrying about him. You have bigger fish to fry so to speak. Thanks Raena! I really appreciate your advice and again agree with you 100%. I am ignoring the guy until the end of the week when I can make plans to see him in person so we can figure out what the h**k went down the past month. Yes, I'm feeling extremely vulnerable today.... but very proud of myself for not reaching out to my ex. I'm giving myself a day to be in shock.... but will be pushing forward tomorrow. What I am searching for is not out there...... but in me. Thank you my friend. 1
stillafool Posted January 31, 2017 Posted January 31, 2017 Yes this guy's age is an issue. He's still at the age where he wants to be free to live a young man's life. A lot of young men want to experience sex with an older woman. It's happening a lot lately but the majority turn into a fling. At any rate now that you've unfortunately been laid off; a new job is now the top priority. It's always good to make and keep your friendships because you will need support of friends when going through difficult times. 1
Author divegrl Posted January 31, 2017 Author Posted January 31, 2017 Yes this guy's age is an issue. He's still at the age where he wants to be free to live a young man's life. A lot of young men want to experience sex with an older woman. It's happening a lot lately but the majority turn into a fling. At any rate now that you've unfortunately been laid off; a new job is now the top priority. It's always good to make and keep your friendships because you will need support of friends when going through difficult times. Thank you! I really appreciate the advice from a male perspective. I want him to be free to live a young man's life..... so why doesn't he do it and leave me alone! Lol! Yes I agree, income is my priority. Thank you my friend.
Author divegrl Posted February 1, 2017 Author Posted February 1, 2017 Just an update. I will not be reaching back out to him. This has been an extremely hard time.... but now I am thinking a bit more clearly. Submitted 10 applications today so that is good. As for the guy.... he is lighting up my phone. I keep reading other threads about biology and attraction and honestly it makes no sense to me. But the no contact guide does. I will remain silent until he lets me know for sure that he wants to reconcile. Thank you again my friends, your responses really helped me. 1
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