Breadfruit Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 So I met this man back in August. We've met twice in person and we'd text each other everyday. He owns 2 companies and has a very young daughter. I've asked him multiple times if he's ready to pursue anything further. He never had time to see me and I'm pretty frustrated. He says he wants a LTR but his actions say otherwise. Should not contact him anymore? I've grown a huge attachment to him. He came into my life when my father passed away. Am I wasting time trying to get serious with this guy?
Fruitee Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 People with kids, hobbies and careers like US president has time for affairs. So he is not busy. He just dont care. Sorry for you loss. But its time for you to move on. Good luck. 9
Gaeta Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 He is a waste of your time. Millions of single parents find time to date as well as people with 2-3 jobs. He is using you as a distraction till the right woman comes along. 1
Gaeta Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 How often do you see each other, OP? 2 times since August.
bachdude Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 2 times since August. Ah yes! That's pretty ridiculous OP! Only 2 times since the summer?! At this rate you'll see each other 5-6 times in 2017! 3
Redhead14 Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 (edited) So I met this man back in August. We've met twice in person and we'd text each other everyday. He owns 2 companies and has a very young daughter. I've asked him multiple times if he's ready to pursue anything further. He never had time to see me and I'm pretty frustrated. He says he wants a LTR but his actions say otherwise. Should not contact him anymore? I've grown a huge attachment to him. He came into my life when my father passed away. Am I wasting time trying to get serious with this guy? Met twice since August????? You should even be thinking about him anymore. This guy may want an LTR, but it's clear that he doesn't want to even explore that possibility with you. Am I wasting time trying to get serious with this guy -- Yes. Get serious with yourself and have higher standards/expectations for yourself from dating partners. This is going nowhere. I've grown a huge attachment to him. -- Really???? You only had two dates with the guy. Forget about the texting. That doesn't do squat to build a relationship. Leave this man alone. You'll only end up embarrassing yourself. I also want to say that I'm very sorry for your loss. And, it's not a surprise that you would perhaps get attached to someone who showed you some attention at a time when you needed that. But, see if for what it was. A distraction from your pain. That bonds people sometimes. Keep moving and focus on YOU for a long time. That's important. Let yourself grieve naturally. Don't try to sidestep or veil it by focusing on finding dating partners right now. Edited January 9, 2017 by Redhead14 1
purrrfectlyflawed Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 If a guy wants to see you, he will make it happen. This guy has wasted your time. I am a single parent with 2 kids. I make it happen with someone I like. Move on.
kendahke Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 (edited) So I met this man back in August. We've met twice in person and we'd text each other everyday. He owns 2 companies and has a very young daughter. I've asked him multiple times if he's ready to pursue anything further. He never had time to see me and I'm pretty frustrated. He says he wants a LTR but his actions say otherwise. Should not contact him anymore? I've grown a huge attachment to him. He came into my life when my father passed away. Am I wasting time trying to get serious with this guy? I'm sure he does want a LTR, in theory.. but not in practicum. His life won't allow for that to take place--with you. Five months have gone by and he has not stepped up his pursuit of you? You cannot conduct a relationship solely through text alone. You have to have face to face interaction with one another on a consistent basis. This really isn't a relationship--this is an electronic pen pal situation. You are wasting your time trying to get serious. He could delegate some of his work in order to accommodate a girlfriend, but he's not. People who want to make time for whatever in their life make the time. They do it. If he's not making time/space for you, that means he doesn't want to do it. He's not down for the obligation of a committed relationship and he doesn't want to have to answer to you. Your best bet is to rein in your feelings and your expectations. He's not the one. Edited January 9, 2017 by kendahke
smackie9 Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 Your attachment to him will be your demise......you hang onto to the memories because it was a time of feeling wanted and desired...you are chasing a ghost now. He is just having an emotional affair with you, and has no intention of changing it. If you gave him an ultimatum I'm sure he will never follow through with your demands. 3
winny Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 This being busy thing is BS. That way movie stars would never have time for relationships. Its all about what a person wants. He is only stringing you alone. In your best interests you should get out of this situation. 2
strawberryshortstack Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 So I met this man back in August. We've met twice in person and we'd text each other everyday. He owns 2 companies and has a very young daughter. I've asked him multiple times if he's ready to pursue anything further. He never had time to see me and I'm pretty frustrated. He says he wants a LTR but his actions say otherwise. Should not contact him anymore? I've grown a huge attachment to him. He came into my life when my father passed away. Am I wasting time trying to get serious with this guy? Either he's truly too busy to date, or he's just not interested. Ultimately, which one is the truth is irrelevant. Move on.
Standard-Fare Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 I'm assuming this is a long-distance relationship? If not, then absolutely 100 percent this is going nowhere. There is NO excuse that would justify arranging only two meetups within the past six months. But even if this IS subject to valid long-distance complications, you're still in danger zone. You have to assume that he can't/won't put any true effort into this relationship. It sounds like maybe you should have made that conclusion months ago, but if things still feel up in the air, it may be worth calling him out on his obvious lack of interest and confirming that you're done. That would only be worth doing if he's been actively encouraging involvement any time recently. If he's been effectively out of the picture for a while, no communication is really necessary — he's already done and he assumes you are, too.
Tressugar Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 You're attached to the fantasy of him, not the reality of him. Very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I'd honestly move on as this non productive behavior he's showing you will only erode your self-esteem. 1
ElizabethIII Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 I would put money on it that he is married or has a long term gf. He has only seen you twice as he hasnt been able to get away otherwise. 1
Author Breadfruit Posted May 14, 2017 Author Posted May 14, 2017 Update: It's been a few months now. I found out he was married. Not only did he have a young daughter, he has a very young son and his wife is currently pregnant again. I was oddly calm about this and I moved on. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 14, 2017 Posted May 14, 2017 Update: It's been a few months now. I found out he was married. Not only did he have a young daughter, he has a very young son and his wife is currently pregnant again. I was oddly calm about this and I moved on. Good for you!
Pinhead Larry Posted May 14, 2017 Posted May 14, 2017 So I met this man back in August. We've met twice in person and we'd text each other everyday. He owns 2 companies and has a very young daughter. I've asked him multiple times if he's ready to pursue anything further. He never had time to see me and I'm pretty frustrated. He says he wants a LTR but his actions say otherwise. Should not contact him anymore? I've grown a huge attachment to him. He came into my life when my father passed away. Am I wasting time trying to get serious with this guy? He's wasting your time. People love to say they never have enough time but they always do. I would bet my life he is lying to you. Move on
preraph Posted May 14, 2017 Posted May 14, 2017 No clues that this guy was a dog talking to him? Other than the big one of not being free to date?
Author Breadfruit Posted May 14, 2017 Author Posted May 14, 2017 Wow! How did you find out? The more people talk, the more the truth comes out. I also saw pictures on Facebook. From that moment I didnt contacted him. 3 weeks went by and he texted me. He asked why I haven't reached out to him. My reply was "Because you should be tending to your wife and kids". He called me more than 20 times that day. I ignored every call and blocked him. I feel bad for his wife and kids though.
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