MarcoInaros Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 Hi, I'm just curious, is it possible for some people to go through life and never have had a relationship? And then that bugs another question, are some people just incapable of having a relationship? Is there a mental condition that would cause an inability to form relationships? The reason I ask is because I am 36 and nearing 37, & I have never had a romantic relationship. I've only been on the few second dates. I'm self sufficient, I have a decent career, and and I can afford to live on my own. I have friendships and intrrests, but no romantic relationships. I've been dating websites for a few years now and have met lots of women, and I have no plans of stopping. It just hasn't happened for me, and I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I always thought, throughout my entire life, that it was something that just happened. But it just seems like something that happens in the movies, or to other people. I feel like it's a mystery how other people form romantic relationships and I haven't, maybe a conspiracy. I really wonder about myself, and wonder if a second opinion or outside perspective might help me, so maybe counseling is in order.
Whitestar Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 Hi, Well I'm an introvert and only been in one relationship and I'm mostly self sufficient so I agree that people differ a lot in their needs and capacity for romance. Still, to never have had a romance by your age is interesting and usual and probably merits exploring it with a professional. If no obvious issues come up then I say relax and enjoy your self contained single life. Romance is overrated... just look at a random selection of threads on LS. 1
AMarriedMan Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 Hi, I'm just curious, is it possible for some people to go through life and never have had a relationship? And then that bugs another question, are some people just incapable of having a relationship? Is there a mental condition that would cause an inability to form relationships? The reason I ask is because I am 36 and nearing 37, & I have never had a romantic relationship. I've only been on the few second dates. I'm self sufficient, I have a decent career, and and I can afford to live on my own. I have friendships and intrrests, but no romantic relationships. I've been dating websites for a few years now and have met lots of women, and I have no plans of stopping. It just hasn't happened for me, and I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I always thought, throughout my entire life, that it was something that just happened. But it just seems like something that happens in the movies, or to other people. I feel like it's a mystery how other people form romantic relationships and I haven't, maybe a conspiracy. I really wonder about myself, and wonder if a second opinion or outside perspective might help me, so maybe counseling is in order. Have you had one-night stands? I mean, have you got any experience in attracting a woman to have sexual relations with you? I would advise you to steer clear of dating web sites or mobile dating applications even more so. You've had no results so far, which is not surprising. Many women join online dating communities just for the attention and ego boost whereas men play the numbers game. It is trivial for even modest looking women to get loads of attention in a short time by uploading a few carefully selected photographs. It is a highly unnatural environment where the odds are heavily stacked against you. If you are a normal looking, financially independent man with a decent career, you should have been able to get a few women interested by your age, provided your own standards are realistic. Speaking of standards, _never_ relax your standards when it comes to character, emotional stability, substance abuse or anything like that. Otherwise you'll risk ending up in a world of pain, especially given your lack of experience. 2
Author MarcoInaros Posted January 9, 2017 Author Posted January 9, 2017 Have you had one-night stands? I mean, have you got any experience in attracting a woman to have sexual relations with you? No I haven't had any one night stands. I've never been close to anything like that. As for.the second question in hindsight I may have had a few opportunities but I was too oblivious or nervous to take advantage of them.
AMarriedMan Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 No I haven't had any one night stands. I've never been close to anything like that. As for.the second question in hindsight I may have had a few opportunities but I was too oblivious or nervous to take advantage of them. It appears to me that your problem lies in fear of intimacy. That fear disrupts the entire process. It causes you to be oblivious to women's signals and prevents you from responding to them in a confident and relaxed manner. Whether or not your life ends up being better or worse because of this is debatable. The excitement and joy of romance is short-lived and love is full of pitfalls. A silent but growing number of men have decided that relationships and marriage are not worth the effort. In a survey in Japan, a third of young men between 16 and 19 years of age reported they were not interested in sex. 1
Author MarcoInaros Posted January 13, 2017 Author Posted January 13, 2017 It appears to me that your problem lies in fear of intimacy. That fear disrupts the entire process. It causes you to be oblivious to women's signals and prevents you from responding to them in a confident and relaxed manner. Whether or not your life ends up being better or worse because of this is debatable. The excitement and joy of romance is short-lived and love is full of pitfalls. A silent but growing number of men have decided that relationships and marriage are not worth the effort. In a survey in Japan, a third of young men between 16 and 19 years of age reported they were not interested in sex. I think that's true. I think I have had a fear of intimacy.
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