chris2011 Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 Ok guys I need help here. I started talking to a girl on a dating app a few months ago. One of the first things I said was that I am looking to make new friends, and she said same with her because she just got out of a bad relationship. Yes I know I ****ed up, again at the time that was the truth lol. We have texted on and off since then (mostly just getting to know each other, making fun of each other, advice etc). Mostly she initiated the texting during this whole time. So I was cool with just having her as a friend. Then, we finally met up. She made a comment about drinking and I told her that I'd love to be her drinking partner if she needed one and she said yeah lets go out later, so I agreed. Picked her up and we went to a bar near her house, had a few drinks, and were having a great time. Then somehow got on the topic about weed. I told her i had some at my house and she said lets go, so we smoked a little and watched tv in bed. We both fell asleep in my bed, woke up an hour later, and she said could I just take her home in the morning so I said thats fine, and we went back to sleep. In the morning we talked a little bit then I took her home (I had to go to work). A few hours later she texted me and we basically were texting all day yesterday. I would talk about a topic and she'd turn it into a way for us to meet up (example, we were talking about burgers (we both love food haha) and she gave me the name of a place and I said ok cool ill check it out sometime, and she said that we should go on a tuesday night because of some special they have there. Another example I was talking about the mountains and i love camping, and she said we should plan a camping trip). This happened with 3-4 different topics (she turned it into something WE would do together). She asked me if I wanted to grab something to eat later on and I said sure, but then later she texted me and said she couldn't find a babysitter. This whole time we continued texting and later that night she told me she would have came over to my place if she'd had a babysitter. Also starting yesterday I felt like she agreed/copied me on a lot of things (food, music choices, movie genres etc, Id say what I like and she'd say OMG me too etc). And she mentioned many times yesterday that it was crazy how much we thought alike and that she loves it. Then late that night I ended the convo because I was tired and that was it. Haven't texted at all today. So here's my question, am I friend-zoned, or is it too early to tell? During our meetup we had no physical contact but at the bar I felt she leaned in quite a bit talking but I'm not 100% sure about that). And what can I do to steer this in the right direction? I really do like her a lot and would like to pursue more with her (I wasn't expecting to honestly). Just not sure if our first few messages about looking for friends only really ****ed it up lol (again that was almost 2 months ago). Thanks for any advice!
Dis Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 (edited) Just have to get this little detail out the way first, so...she has a child but when shes not with her kid shes smoking pot in a strange man's bed until she falls asleep? Ok....stellar You probably friendzoned yourself when you told her, "I'm only looking for friends" lol If you want to break out of that you're going to have to keep reading any signals shes giving you and make a just move on this classy broad Edited January 8, 2017 by Disillusionment373 3
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 Yes, it's too early to tell as you haven't even officially asked her out on a date, but you can't friend zone yourself...if the girl is very attracted she'll talk HERSELF around the friends thing and turn it into more than it is (in her own head), trust me. Yes, you can ultimately turn someone off or neglect the attraction right out of her but IMO the friend zone is a myth. And don't act like she's your kid brother and have her over for platonic sleepovers. IMO that's always just weird and nobody ever knows where to go from there. 1
smackie9 Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 In bed and sex didn't happen????.... Never ever get in bed unless sex is on the table. What... are you are 12?? You are going to have to just let her know you would like to date her....if she feels the same way great, if not you just saved yourself months of bs. 2
Simple Logic Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 I think she is looking for a 420 and sex friend.
joseb Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 In bed and sex didn't happen????.... Never ever get in bed unless sex is on the table. Exactly. Nothing says friend zone like not making a move when a girl gets into your bed. Smh As for "looking for friends" on a dating app I always take that to mean looking for casual,hookups, fwb etc. Sounds like we want a fwb, if you are up for that don't waste another opportunity. 1
kidm Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 Did you pay for the drinks at the bar? If so, did she offer to pay? Also all these activities that you plan on doing together, do you plan on footing the bill? It's too early to tell whether she's friendzoned you but you also need to watch out for being used.
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