imacyclepath Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 Heya everyone! So I'm a 20 y/o girl who would normally not consider herself as shy, but regarding this issue I am the shyest person ever for some reason. And I am super confused. I just came back to work a few days ago from a two weeks holiday abroad. There is this guy at my office who works in another department but like 2 or 3 weeks before my holiday he started to stop by my desk a lot and to always engage me into conversations with him when we bumped into each other somewhere in the office. He also started to text me nearly every day or at least every other day but this I kept very short as I really did not want him to build his hopes up or anything. At that time someone who works in his department also told me this guy kept talking about me a lot. Anyway, I am not someone who is too much into dating or relationships so I kept it super cool and did not make any move myself except for casually being nice and friendly. When said guy found out I was going away for 2 weeks he said we had to make sure to go out for drinks before that and I honestly did not want to go, even though I liked him. When someone else from the office also said he'd like to meet up with me before I go though, I arranged to go watch a movie together with the both of them. After the movie, the one that chipped in left and I intended to leave as well, when the guy this post is about (I hope y'all can still follow) said he was gonna go out now and asked whether I wanted to go with him. I thought about it a bit and then agreed. We went salsa dancing together which was a lot of fun, but still I was doing this as "friends", if you know what I mean. So we didn't like make out or anything, but danced very closely and during the breaks he was literally glued to me and always had his hand on my back. Also (and this might sound kind of awkward, but well what can I say I AM awkward) we somehow started to like, stroke/scratch each other's backs and legs while sitting next to each other in the breaks. Yeah, that's me after two beers haha. However, he drove me home afterwards and I was super tired so not as talkative as usually around him so he asked me "What are you thinking? You're so quiet right now" - a LOT. Anyway, the next day at work I was super busy so only had a chance to quickly say bye to him before my holiday and he hugged me and said how glad he was to have met me and how amazing I was. Well, now that I'm back things started to continue being like this. When he saw me being back at the office, he said how happy he was I was back like three times. Also, I tried to walk away every time we finished talking about one topic, so he started new ones or asked me questions every time I did so. He was also really red and kind of nervous and awkward, even more than all the other times he talked to be before my holidays. Also, he said how he really enjoyed dancing with me and that he'd love to do that again if I wanted to. Now this sound all like he is super into me, right? It couldn't be any more obvious. I mean, as far as I can recall he did not mention a certain day for the dancing though, but said something about that we could go again on Sunday, although I am not sure if this Sunday or another one. Doesn't matter though, I already have other plans for this Sunday. The thing is, I don't know what it is, but I (who started to develop a crush on him as well now, duh) think I messed things up a bit the day after. I had so much coffee that day at work because I was unable to sleep the night before and had not eaten anything at all until like 4:30 PM. So when he talked to me at like 3 PM, just when I wanted to leave for lunch, I was like really really shaky and confused, obviously. I think I talked mostly rubbish haha, but the worst thing was me being so shaky (I must have looked like reeeally nervous). He might have been a bit awkward too, but I can't tell for sure. Anyway, I avoided him the day after as I thought of that incident being just too embarrassing, but bumped into him again yesterday. Well, I heard him talking to my best friend in the kitchen of the office so I thought I would have the courage to go there with her also being there. I was still being kind of nervous because of having embarrassed myself the other day but it was a lot better yesterday. Still weird though. We talked for like a few minutes, but it was more like them telling me what they just talked about and then my friend and me talking with each other and him mainly listening, but he asked me a few questions too. But he seemed a lot calmer than usually too, and didn't get all red when we talked if I remember right. Gawd, I don't know but I have the feeling I was just being too weird that day I was so badly overdosed on coffee that I messed it up entirely! This is especially depressing as it went so good before that and now I am not even sure if it would seem too desperate of me to text him today and say again that I am deffo in on going dancing again but not this Sunday as I'm busy that day, but sure on next Sunday. What do you guys think? I'm super inexperienced with that dating stuff as you have probably noticed by now haha. Do you think I already messed it up too badly? How should I proceed? Thanks a lot for your advice in advance, peeps!
spiderowl Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 Just be friendly and responsive towards him. He must wonder if you like him at all; you seem to be going out of your way to avoid him. If you don't give him some clear, positive signs soon, he is going to give up on you. As for the coffee thing, just tell him when you next see him that you felt ill before because you'd had too much coffee. If he was thinking anything was odd, it would explain it. He was probably too nervous himself to notice anything though.
Author imacyclepath Posted January 28, 2017 Author Posted January 28, 2017 (edited) Thanks a lot for your answers everyone! So obviously I posted this a while ago and there are a few updates. I did text him to say I was happy to go out with him said Sunday and we did so, we had food and then he let me drive his new super expensive car and somehow we ended up at his place. He said he just wanted to get something from inside and would be back soon, but well, I had to go to the loo so I followed him inside. We then watched movies sitting next to each other for a long while and then started cuddling for hours, until we started kissing and then slept with each other. Honestly, I was convinced that this was a one time thing, even though he cuddled me a lot afterwards and also next day in the morning, said super cute things to me afterwards and didn't want to let me leave earlier than him (I had to change and shower at home before work). Later in the office (Monday) I thought it would be super awkward seeing a one night stand every day now, but what happened was that he acted so quirky and everything around me, and got super red whenever he saw me and couldn't even manage to talk to me without dying of nervousness. From then on he continued being like that - like he was super in love with me. He also texted me on Tuesday already to ask how my week had been ao far, and so on. However, his texts were always super short but then again he's a guy after all and always texted like that. Alas I was very very busy at work and even had to skip lunchbreaks and work overtime this week and last week so we barely ever bumped into each other to have the chance to talk. When we did though, he always made the impression of a 15-year old teenage boy that's madly in love. Anyway, we had made plans to meet up last weekend but I was sick so couldn't leave the house and on Sunday when I was better I randomly booty-called him. Well, I asked him if he was down for getting drinks and offered the option to stay over after that from Sunday to Monday as I live just 5 walking minutes away from our workplace. His response was positive, but he said he couldn't manage to come over as he was sick now and didn't even come to work half of this week. What happened was that on the weekend he asked whether we could go for drinks on Thursday and then he maybe could stay over. So on Wednesday (he was back at work that day) I texted him and he said he was still way too sick to go out Thursday. So he said we could get food over the weekend and again, that he could stay over if he was better by then. Well now it's the weekend and I'm not sure what to do. As previously mentioned, we did not have the chance to talk in person this week at all (only once but someone else was involved in that conversation) and yesterday I walked back to the part of the office he has his desk at because I needed to ask someone over there something. While I did so, he was about to leave and when he saw me he stopped what he was doing, stood there and looked me in the eyes for 10 seconds straight, with a very hopeful look, like as if he was hoping for me to be back there to talk to him. Also, I kind of have the feeling as if he's intimidated by how I am in the office. Like, especially this week I basically ignored him (as well as everyone else) who walked by my desk, because I was so focused and stressed. Obviously I talked to members of my team and also other people I bumped into, and I guess he could clearly see me laughing and having fun with them, as far as me being stressed allowed it. So I now don't know whether I should text him or anything, to at least ask whether he is better and then see if he says anything about this weekend - or if I should just leave it and move on. I mean, he was never a great texter and always leaves the making plans part to other people, but then again if he wanted to see me this weekend he should be the one to ask now. I feel like I have made enough effort by asking him twice via text to hang out, which always got postponed from his side. Yeah he was super sick - but still. What would you guys say / do? Thanks a lot in advance! Have a great day. Edited January 28, 2017 by imacyclepath
d0nnivain Posted January 28, 2017 Posted January 28, 2017 It's already Saturday so this weekend is a bust in my opinion. I'd make a point to say hi at work but otherwise do your job. On Monday or Tuesday call him or corner him at the end of the day & you ask him out for Thursday. If that doesn't spark a positive reaction, assume he lost interest & move on.
Author imacyclepath Posted January 28, 2017 Author Posted January 28, 2017 It's already Saturday so this weekend is a bust in my opinion. I'd make a point to say hi at work but otherwise do your job. On Monday or Tuesday call him or corner him at the end of the day & you ask him out for Thursday. If that doesn't spark a positive reaction, assume he lost interest & move on. That's exactly what I thought I was gonna do. Thanks! Let's wait and see.
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