Earthisgay1 Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 I read this guys story online & follow him on Twitter and facebook, he stands for self esteem, mental health and social justice, plus he's very good looking. He seems like a very nice person frm his FB pics, so I friended him which he accepts. I was very enthusiastic of whatever he posts, so i like & comment-nicely. I DM'd him once about my experience so he knows i can relate, at first he was nice & responded with thank you for your support. So then I msgd him again...& again... nothing. I even sent him some music frm my beautiful Island of Hawaii-still nothing. So then i remain under the radar.. just keeping low key & liking his posts- he never likes mine... so i follow him on twitter where he follows me & i get my other friends to follow him too to show support, he never followed them back nor accepted their friendship on FB. I also, secretly got him more followers on Twitter which i never told him.. so i text him to tell him i'm getting him more fans bc of the good works that he does-because he's an advocate for all social justice & all i mention above He thanked me once, i responded... then nothing,... i text again... then nothing. OK i get the drill... he's not interested, but my gut has a good feeling about this guy. he's in the UK i'm in Hawaii. Best thing i know is to leave him be but my gut is telling me not to give up... though i'm not listening to it right now... I just want anyone's insight. by the way, he's hosting an open conference in Wales, just wonder if I should bother going and not seem stalkerish... so stalker replies do read this. I never been to Europe-any insights advice-experiences welcome!
Gui Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 I think you were coming on too strong. Also, I missed the part where you guys exchanged numbers.
preraph Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 You have already pushed too far and totally creeped him out. He is not helpless. If he were interested, he'd be taking action instead of avoiding you. Please do not stalk him to Wales. And stop trying to buy him by getting him followers. He's not interested and he is creeped out.
spiderowl Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 He is not interested or he would reply and encourage further chat. Please just leave him be and find someone who is interested in you. Don't you deserve someone who can be there for you?
Erik30 Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 I'm assuming this guy is some sort of "celebrity?" You two have no connection, he just thanked you a couple of times. You're a complete stranger to him, this is all one sided. Please don't go to his conference, unless you want to look like a stalker. Find someone else who you can actually date 2
thecrucible Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 I think he's trying to keep things professional and you should respect that. He is treating you like a client/fan of his business interests. I wouldn't pursue internet-famous gurus if I were you. I'd focus on guys I met in person. 4
anika99 Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 You have crossed the line from having a crush to having an obsession. He probably sincerely appreciated your support in the beginning but the more you messaged him the more concerned he became. Once you scare someone they are never going to want anything to do with you. He is just a fantasy and we all have fantasies but it becomes dangerous when you start to expect fantasy to become real life. 3
kidm Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 I am sorry to say but you sound obsessed. If I were the guy and you made your way to Wales, I would think you were off your rocker. Your gut is telling you wrong. I hope you snap out of it soon because that's how stalkers justify stalking others.
junebug1 Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 (edited) Your gut is telling you to not let go because he seems like a great guy with qualities you admire. And clearly he does have qualities you admire, but your logical brain here is right: he isn't interested so just let him be. It doesn't matter how much you like him if he isn't feeling the same way. Even if you only liked him as a friend. Try to put yourself in his shoes. He probably wants to be polite and is thankful, but wants his own space and has his own friends. Maybe he even has a girlfriend, you know? Imagine if someone you didn't know contacted you as much or gave you as much attention - and you weren't interested. How would that make you feel? It's fine to be fans of people and have fantasies - and sure you can say thank you or show gratitude! But you have to give real people their space, which he has politely shown he needs. And you know what, different people have different comfort zones or needs for space. Some people or celebs might be more open and interactive with people/fans, but it seems like he needs his real people privacy and space which is totally normal and justified. I've been a fan of an acquaintance's work. I had zero romantic feelings but perhaps because I enjoyed their work, they seemed to think I was more into them than I was. Take it from me - it is not a good feeling to see someone you kind of admire look visibly uncomfortable or even stressed in your presence, even if they are polite about it. You don't want to spend money, effort, and time to fly to Wales for that. Everyone needs their space. I've also had to learn and am still learning to give space and read people's cues for wanting more space. Pay attention to his quiet hints while they are still quiet. If he was interested he would reciprocate. He is showing he wants space instead. If you care about him as a person and not just a crush for your happiness, you will take a step back and respect his personal wishes. And I agree with comments - he probably feels uncomfortable and quite pushed by the excessive attention. And feeling that this early on with anyone - it scares them away. I think it's practically impossible for him to switch from uncomfortable/scared away to interested. So just focus on your real life and people around you, and I would not recommend attending the Wales conference. If you are very interested in social issues, I am sure there are other opportunities to learn in your state/country. Also, if it helps at all, you don't really know him so maybe IRL you wouldnt even be into him that much. Edited January 9, 2017 by junebug1
junebug1 Posted January 9, 2017 Posted January 9, 2017 Also, sorry to say, but maybe he didn't follow your friends on twitter/fb because he realized you were mutual friends, and he needs space. He probably has a lot of friends and followers and gets a lot of messages from everyone, so even though he is on your mind a lot and you like his posts, you are only one of many followers to him. It doesnt mean he dislikes you as a person. He probably is appreciative and grateful of your support. But you are not real friends. He is only a person. He cannot spend that much time or energy on individual followers, he will save his time and energy for things he cares about (like his real family and friends, his work that you look up to), and he needs time and space for himself. But if he feels his personal space is invaded *too much*, he might come to feel some dislike..!
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