Can someone explain what the hell he thinks he's doing?

[Vicky876]

Hi there! Here goes.. I'm seeing a guy for over a hear now. There's major chemistry. Sporadically we ended up in bed together, six times. Then a period of no contact untill we bump into eachother. I was infatuated by him, so sometimes I looked him up. He never really took initiative to see each other more often, so I backed off each time. And if we'd meet I'd ignore him at first. He once asked hey I never said hello.

 

Anyway, in the beginning of december we met, he was kind at first but then started to ignore me. So I was like FINE. Be an ass then. And I swore to myself to ignore him and never give him the slightest impression that I like him. He acted like an ass before for not calling, etc. So it hit me then. Fairplay, I was tricked and naive.

 

So yesterday we bumped into each other again. And I ignored him fiercly (YES!). It worked, I couldn't care less and had fun. But then he suddenly stood behind me and gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek, nearly as if we're in a relationship. I melted.

 

But went back to ignoring again. Each time he passed by, he would grab my hips or pinch me.

 

I didn't do anything (YAY), but still: WTF.

 

Can anyone explain this behaviour? Oh yeah. Not that age specifically matters, but he's 24, acts tough, is very smart but insecure. I'm 29, have a good job and, Well, usually I'm pwetty in control of things, but he does something to me >

[GemmaUK]

He just wants your attention when he wants it - you have previously supplied it so it's on you.

 

Tell him to get lost.

 

You story reminds me of when I was 17! You're 29!

Take responsibility for who is in your life.

Ditch those who shouldn't be.

[Sweetfish]

Your not the only girl he can get attention from.

[Simple Logic]

Makes perfect sense to me. He whisles and you come running.

[Vicky876]

Not really that. Six times over more than a year and most times we bumped into eachother nothing happened.

 

Anyway. It confuses me and I absolutely hate it. Yes, I am attracted to certain characteristics, but him being an ass is definitely overruling that. I don't want to be swept of my feet again, ever.

 

What tactic to use to blow him off next time it happens? I want this to be done and over.

[Sweetfish]

Not really that. Six times over more than a year and most times we bumped into eachother nothing happened.

 

Anyway. It confuses me and I absolutely hate it. Yes, I am attracted to certain characteristics, but him being an ass is definitely overruling that. I don't want to be swept of my feet again, ever.

 

What tactic to use to blow him off next time it happens? I want this to be done and over.

 

So your upset he is ignoring you?

[Vicky876]

Ehr, no, he does nót ignore me. I'm upset by the fact that each time I ignore him, he looks for contact and that I have the tendency to get swept off my feet, but it appears he doesn't want anything else than attention.

 

If he liked me at all, he'd have pursued contact, ask for a date, whatever. We've been intimate. He doesn't. So I reckon he doesn't want anything but an egoboost. When we meet he puts his arms around me, etc.

 

Look, I really like him, he's not into me that way, so I'm doing everything I can to hate him and ignore him and he pulls out these jokes and giving me a hard time to hate him.

 

Allright. This is complicated. He is giving double messages. It's like GemmaUK said. And I'm trying to figure out how to cope.

 

Maybe I'm reliving my 17th. Is this my quarterlife crisis... god help.

[preraph]

He doesn't want you but he would like to keep you in the corral with the other mares in case he needs a quickie. And you're good for his ego. He's never going to be all into you though. He just knows how far he can push the women he sleeps with away before he has to play nice.