GypsyGirl966 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 I had been seeing someone for a couple of months and it was going well. He was gone for awhile for the holidays, got back in town on the 31st, we both knew I would be leaving town today for 10 days. He gets back on the 31st, he is sick. I go to store, get supplies, make him soup, get him drinks, ibuprofen, cough drops, cold compresses for his forehead and neck. Take care of his pets, feed his friend dinner (he forgot to cancel on friend after he got sick and friend showed up unexpectedly, so I made the friend dinner). My friends call me and want me to go out, there are other friends in town I haven't seen for awhile and everyone is bugging me to go out. I decline and stay in with him. He is very appreciative. Tells me how nice it is to have someone in his life, how nice it is to have someone there with him to care for him and look after him while he is sick. Says he has gotten through it on his own before, but it is much better with someone else there to take care of him. On the 3rd I wake up deathly ill, I've caught what he had. He goes to work on the 3rd, I get that, he has been gone and he has to get back to work. The night of the 3rd he takes care of me. Yesterday I'm much worse off and he goes out with friends. I tell him I am surprised and hurt by his double standards and need some time to think about whether we should be dating at all. He shows up at my place in the middle of the night, crying, says he loves me (this is a first), that he had no idea I expected to be taken care of and he was only out with his friends for a few hours. I hold strong on needing some time to think things over. He then claims he thought I would want to work if I did anything, so of course he would go out with his friends so I could work. Claims I am not giving him any credit for the night he did take care of me. As of today, I am gone for 10 days, I just need to stay strong an go NC. I need to be done with this man, but this is the closest I've gotten to a relationship since my divorce, and it is hard to let go of it.
VeveCakes Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 how long have you been together? I don't know, I think you majorly over reacted. It was your choice to take care of him, and that doesn't mean he is required to take care of you. It was your choice to turn down your friends. He did take care of you one day. I mean you are an adult and should be able to take care of yourself. I guess if it's a deal breaker for you then it is what it is, but if this is the sole reason to break up I think it's a bit silly. 2
preraph Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 It's really pretty common for one person to go out of their way to accommodate the other and the other to not even think about reciprocating. There are a certain amount of men who would never think to "take care" of a sick person. There are a certain amount of men, sadly, who think only women do this type thing. He didn't do anything to intentionally make you mad, but he is not locked in to helping and protecting you at this time and may never be. Rejoice, because this is one of those important things you have to be with someone a long enough time to find out about them, that and what they're like when they have car trouble. Put this info into your cap and think on it and how it would apply is, say, you had a couple of sick toddlers....your choice.
LostOnes05 Posted January 6, 2017 Posted January 6, 2017 how long have you been together? I don't know, I think you majorly over reacted. It was your choice to take care of him, and that doesn't mean he is required to take care of you. It was your choice to turn down your friends. He did take care of you one day. I mean you are an adult and should be able to take care of yourself. I guess if it's a deal breaker for you then it is what it is, but if this is the sole reason to break up I think it's a bit silly. I agree with Veve...major overreaction! If you were in the hospital and he never came to see you then I could understand your reaction. 1
BlkVelvet Posted January 6, 2017 Posted January 6, 2017 how long have you been together? I don't know, I think you majorly over reacted. It was your choice to take care of him, and that doesn't mean he is required to take care of you. It was your choice to turn down your friends. He did take care of you one day. I mean you are an adult and should be able to take care of yourself. I guess if it's a deal breaker for you then it is what it is, but if this is the sole reason to break up I think it's a bit silly. I COMPLETELY agree with the above. You did too much, OP. You need to relax. 1
BlkVelvet Posted January 6, 2017 Posted January 6, 2017 Another thing: It seems to me, just from your post, that your "Love Language" may be Acts of Service. I say this because we usually show love to others in the way that WE would want to be shown love. This may not be his love language and he certainly doesn't know that its yours. I think you are being too hard on him and possibly avoidant. You should have communicated your needs like an adult instead of just coldly shutting him out. Are you afraid of something in this relationship? 1
Simple Logic Posted January 6, 2017 Posted January 6, 2017 Yea, the BF screwed up, but some renedial training might be in order rather than kicking him to the curb.
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