Aragorn098 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 (edited) I need some advice from you guys. Basically, my ex fiancé and I who were deeply in love with each other were to be married 2 years ago when arguments between our parents broke it all off. She was the one who gave up on us and broke it off 10 weeks before the big day. During our last phone conversation back then she told me how she had never met anyone like me before and despite her family telling her different, she would never find anyone like me. I was completely devastated and it took me a long time to get over it. We had no contact for 3 months but on her Pinterest account she would constantly post emotional pictures about how she is completely heartbroken etc. So 3 months later (April 2015) we saw each other again for the first time and I decided to contact her on Facebook to ask if we should give it another go, as she continued posting quotes related to how much she missed me. However, she reacted by saying we should not get back together and no longer keep in contact. So I accepted that and decided to move on, despite caring for her so much. A couple of days later she saw a status I posted on Facebook and assumed it was about her when it was not. It was a status given to me by a domestic violent victim whose husband was a narcissist and self-centered man and it was advise by this woman about staying away from people who are self centred. As my ex fiancé thought it was about her, she blocked me on Facebook and then posted some nasty comments about me on Pinterest. While feeling devastated at what I had read, I decided to let it go as there was no way to explain to her at the time that the status was not about her. I also understand she posted those comments out of anger as she assumed the status was about her. 4 months later, I randomly changed my Facebook profile picture, which some would assume that I was seeing someone, when that was not my intention. A few days later I noticed she has unblocked me, since I saw a comment of hers on a mutual friend's wall. I decided to check her Pinterest account after months and realised that she thought I have found someone and that she was completely heartbroken over it. As a result she moved abroad about 3-4 weeks later to work with her sister who lives there to get over us. She returned back to the UK 8 months later (April 2016), apparently a changed woman. I was feeling great in myself as I was working a great job and began my fitness regime where I have lost 5 stones and gained loads of muscle. So I now look slim and some have said a changed man. My feelings had slowly started to minimise but I would still get very upset from time to time when thinking about her. 4 weeks ago, I attended a course where I found her too and having seen each other over the weekend without talking, it was incredibly awkward. And all those feelings I thought were gone came rushing back and I was very upset for a whole week. In that time I checked her Pinterest account for the first time in 1 year and only 5-6 weeks before she was posting pictures about how she still misses me and "hides me in her poetry". Also, while her Instagram had been private for over a year, 3 days after seeing me she made it public, which I assume was so I could see it. Having spoken to friends about all this they told me that she would have seen the new confident, slim me at the course and would have made her Instagram account account public to get my attention so I get in contact with her. A few days later I decided to make my own Instagram account which I had been looking to do for a long time. 3 weeks have passed since she made her Instagram account public and I have not contacted her despite badly wanting to. So then 2 days ago, I noticed that she blocked me on Instagram. I don't really understand why, as her profile is still public, as is mine. So all I need to do to look at her pictures is to log in via an internet browser. I wanted to know what could be the possible explanation for her doing this? Thank you. Edited January 5, 2017 by Aragorn098
marky00 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 This is an odd story. If 2 people love each other they find a way to establish the relationship unless there is big external forces like family etc. I can understand your hesitation since she was the dumper but someone has to break the ice, the situation sounds crazy.
Author Aragorn098 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Posted January 5, 2017 This is an odd story. If 2 people love each other they find a way to establish the relationship unless there is big external forces like family etc. I can understand your hesitation since she was the dumper but someone has to break the ice, the situation sounds crazy. It is very odd. I still can't believe we have such strong feelings for each other still. At the time she broke it off I thought she made the decision, but as time went on I realised she was forced to make that decision by her family. Her father really liked me too. It was just that our parents never got on and they constantly argued. In that time we never argued with each other even once. I really cared about her. I decided to marry her after she told me she had a serious health condition called endometriosis which can cause infertility. But I loved her to bits despite all that and wanted to take care of her. So do you think her actions in making her Instagram profile public and now blocking me after 3 weeks is to get my attention. I can't believe it's been 2 years.
Ilovepizzalady Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 How do you know all those posts were about you? I say that because I dumped a guy once, because I liked another guy, didn't work out quickly with the other guy and I was heartbroken over the SECOND guy, not the ex... 1
marky00 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 To hell with all the social media crap. Its just white noise. Its time to think big picture here. Honestly, I have never really heard of a marriage breaking up due to bickering parents. How old are u 2 guys? Maybe now its 2 years later, the both of u can tell the parents to leave u guys alone, if u know what I mean.
Author Aragorn098 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Posted January 5, 2017 The incredible thing is that it was arranged through parents and during our first meeting we just clicked like we had known each other for years. I'm 34 and she's 31. But coming from Asian families we can't just get married like that. I'm sure if I contacted her and she agreed then we could work around this parent issue over time then break it to them. But I'm just scared that she may say no, despite the signals she's giving.
Author Aragorn098 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Posted January 5, 2017 (edited) How do you know all those posts were about you? I say that because I dumped a guy once, because I liked another guy, didn't work out quickly with the other guy and I was heartbroken over the SECOND guy, not the ex... Because she didn't dump me for another guy. After a year of the break up it was clear she was still heartbroken. And her behaviour since shows that she's trying to get my attention. I mean why make her Instagram public after 3 days of seeing me then specifically block me on there knowing I can still see her profile (pictures and videos). It would make sense if she made her account private again. Edited January 5, 2017 by Aragorn098
VeveCakes Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Because she didn't dump me for another guy. After a year of the break up it was clear she was still heartbroken. And her behaviour since shows that she's trying to get my attention. I mean why make her Instagram public after 3 days of seeing me then specifically block me on there knowing I can still see her profile (pictures and videos). It would make sense if she made her account private again. You literally have NO idea it was about you. The fact you reached out and she said NO to a second chance pretty much proves it was not about you. I agree with the poster above -it was about someone else. If I was posting subliminal messages about a guy and he wanted to get with me...I would obviously do that! You need to stop stalking her social media. I mean stalking her pinterest? Come on man, you know you have better ways to spend your time.
marky00 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Forget trying to figure out the social media crap. You will never figure it out trust me. Try to focus on the bigger picture. I find when you stop the little things getting to you, the bigger picture is more attainable.
Author Aragorn098 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Posted January 5, 2017 Forget trying to figure out the social media crap. You will never figure it out trust me. Try to focus on the bigger picture. I find when you stop the little things getting to you, the bigger picture is more attainable. And what's the bigger picture? To pursue it or not?
VeveCakes Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 And what's the bigger picture? To pursue it or not? The bigger picture is moving on with your life and not obsessing over every little motive someone has on social media.
Author Aragorn098 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Posted January 5, 2017 (edited) You literally have NO idea it was about you. The fact you reached out and she said NO to a second chance pretty much proves it was not about you. I agree with the poster above -it was about someone else. If I was posting subliminal messages about a guy and he wanted to get with me...I would obviously do that! You need to stop stalking her social media. I mean stalking her pinterest? Come on man, you know you have better ways to spend your time. I'm not trying to be rude but you don't know what you're talking about. Before she said no a second time she was the one stalking me in person because she missed me. She made that clear to me. But she wanted to remain friends. When I mentioned giving it another go, the pressure of her family was too much for her again. They were feeding her this perception that she will find someone and that her feelings will stop. But over time they haven't. I think she may have realised that and now regrets it. Sometimes you have to look beyond your family and know there are people out there that would do as much for you as they would. And I still remember when I approached her to ask how she was a second time and she seemed so happy to have heard from me. She would constantly ask how I was. The only problem was the marriage issue which I believe was due to family pressure. Plus, her personality is very closed. She finds it hard to trust people. When I saw her 3 weeks ago she was acting very odd. Would come close to where I was sitting numerous times but as I wouldn't approach her she would move back to where she was sitting. I just want to know with everything I've said, should I at least give it one more shot? Better to be rejected again than to always think what if? Edited January 5, 2017 by Aragorn098
DarrenB Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 I just want to know with everything I've said, should I at least give it one more shot? Better to be rejected again than to always think what if? Shot at what? what is there to savour or salvage here? You said it yourself, she's made it evident to you that she cannot pursue a future with you romantically and proceed with marriage. If she feels pressured because of personal relations (family and friends), then what gives you the audacity to want to continuously interfere in her life and in a sense, burden her even more than she currently already feels? Sorry to say, but it's strictly her business and any involvement from you will just provoke this predicament further. She's come to the conclusion of it all, therefore it's her decision and her's alone if the situation will change in the future, and of course if you yourself are willing to allow that to be the case (If it happens). You're immersing yourself into her business by following literally ALL of her social media and networking accounts and trying to analyze her emotions and feelings by it, so why? It seems as though you're way more involved than she ever was. 1
Author Aragorn098 Posted January 5, 2017 Author Posted January 5, 2017 Shot at what? what is there to savour or salvage here? You said it yourself, she's made it evident to you that she cannot pursue a future with you romantically and proceed with marriage. If she feels pressured because of personal relations (family and friends), then what gives you the audacity to want to continuously interfere in her life and in a sense, burden her even more than she currently already feels? Sorry to say, but it's strictly her business and any involvement from you will just provoke this predicament further. She's come to the conclusion of it all, therefore it's her decision and her's alone if the situation will change in the future, and of course if you yourself are willing to allow that to be the case (If it happens). You're immersing yourself into her business by following literally ALL of her social media and networking accounts and trying to analyze her emotions and feelings by it, so why? It seems as though you're way more involved than she ever was. Thank you for that. You're right and so I've decided I won't be pursuing things anymore. I just needed someone to be frank with me while making sense related to my situation. Sometimes a good kick up the backside that makes sense is all you need. Greatly appreciate it.
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