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Told a guy I had feelings for him but didn't want to act on it. Both went crazy!

mon.

By mon.
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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mon. Established Member

mon.

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Why dont you want to act on it, as you said to him, because i think you Are trying to manipulate him bacause you couldnt act on it alone and by trying to confuse him you forced some reaction from him that you needed to know that He feels the same as you:confused:? And here we are:)

 

Could be, we never know... But I really don't think I'm in love with him. I've always liked talked to him and now I'm obsessed to amend my s***

lauri Established Member

lauri

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Could be, we never know... But I really don't think I'm in love with him. I've always liked talked to him and now I'm obsessed to amend my s***

 

You shouldn't beat yourself up for not being attracted to someone. It's either you are or you are not. You liked the attention and that's not a bad thing either...but it's an unfair trade on his part.

 

However, he did something "manly" but cutting you off. Sure it's peaking you're interest right now but only because you're attracted to that. However, when / if you do talk to him again, you won't be interested in him sexually again. It's how you feel and you can't deny that. I can tell In your posts that you're just feeling guilty and you don't want to be hated by him.

 

To be frank with you, you're looking to meet with him one last time for yourself. It's kind of selfish for you to expect someone to come forward and see you, especially when they have feelings for you, to make YOU feel better. You're looking to get rid of your guilt.

 

Just remember, you're not attracted to him. He's attracted to you. You can't expect to get his attention and validation without giving him something in return. He's smart to cut you off because it's a waste of his time, he's better off giving that attention to someone's who attracted to him.

 

Just know I don't think you're a bad person, you just need to look into your nature / desires and realize that's what is driving this situation the way it is.

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mon. Established Member

mon.

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You shouldn't beat yourself up for not being attracted to someone. It's either you are or you are not. You liked the attention and that's not a bad thing either...but it's an unfair trade on his part.

 

However, he did something "manly" but cutting you off. Sure it's peaking you're interest right now but only because you're attracted to that. However, when / if you do talk to him again, you won't be interested in him sexually again. It's how you feel and you can't deny that. I can tell In your posts that you're just feeling guilty and you don't want to be hated by him.

 

To be frank with you, you're looking to meet with him one last time for yourself. It's kind of selfish for you to expect someone to come forward and see you, especially when they have feelings for you, to make YOU feel better. You're looking to get rid of your guilt.

 

Just remember, you're not attracted to him. He's attracted to you. You can't expect to get his attention and validation without giving him something in return. He's smart to cut you off because it's a waste of his time, he's better off giving that attention to someone's who attracted to him.

 

Just know I don't think you're a bad person, you just need to look into your nature / desires and realize that's what is driving this situation the way it is.

 

Well, he's not IN LOVE with me. I turned on a little sparkle and ran away. During these days he "got back" after saying good-bye - although this time I think it's for real. I'm not testing that anyway, I know it would be disrespectful to keep poking. But anyway, maybe he does say "ok, whatever, let's meet up". I'm gonna give myself some time and then if/when the book comes, I'll think about it again...

 

I didn't play with him intentionally... I wanted to stop but it was difficult. So much he had to cut it off... Shame on me, should have had the dignity of doing it myself and don't hurt him... :/

lauri Established Member

lauri

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Well, he's not IN LOVE with me. I turned on a little sparkle and ran away. During these days he "got back" after saying good-bye - although this time I think it's for real. I'm not testing that anyway, I know it would be disrespectful to keep poking. But anyway, maybe he does say "ok, whatever, let's meet up". I'm gonna give myself some time and then if/when the book comes, I'll think about it again...

 

I didn't play with him intentionally... I wanted to stop but it was difficult. So much he had to cut it off... Shame on me, should have had the dignity of doing it myself and don't hurt him... :/

 

He may not be inlove with you but that doesn't mean he's not interested in you. You just weren't into him, no big deal.

 

He probably doesn't hate you, he just actually has self respect and is moving on. I know in his shoes I would have did the exact same thing. It doesn't matter how short it is, his intentions were to date you / be with you and you weren't down. What else do you think he should've done? Keep talking to you? You know deep down inside it was the best play for him, no matter how much it burned you.

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mon. Established Member

mon.

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He may not be inlove with you but that doesn't mean he's not interested in you. You just weren't into him, no big deal.

 

He probably doesn't hate you, he just actually has self respect and is moving on. I know in his shoes I would have did the exact same thing. It doesn't matter how short it is, his intentions were to date you / be with you and you weren't down. What else do you think he should've done? Keep talking to you? You know deep down inside it was the best play for him, no matter how much it burned you.

 

 

Tough but true!

 

Thanks again, guys! You've been really helpful today!

 

Lesson learnt and nothing much I can do from this point...

 

 

Cheers!

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Because we've been friends (or friendly to one another) before I screw things up and I'd like to part with a good last memory...

 

He even said at one point, one day before going crazy, that there was no need to feel bad about a "sentimental confession"... but then was not so cool the following day... so I don't have a clear picture of what he thinks :(

 

But you wanted to know how other people would feel about it. "Waste of Time" is how I'd feel if I was on the receiving end. And I probably wouldn't care about how it would make the other person feel.

anika99 Established Member

anika99

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I think you Are in denial:o you Seem to be desparately in love with him, maybe you have to tell yourself that youre not because otherwise you couldnt move away:o you risk losing him (or you already have) by fooling yourself, maybe Try to imagine you Will never see him Again because of the way you act\play\think* anyway DONT Contact him as long as your intentions are the same Dont or i say do it all you want and hopefully He Will ignore:(:( your mouth says One thing but your actions the exact opposite which is why i say your in denial:(. Sorry if im wrong but Black on White thats what i read:(

 

Definitely not love. It's all about ego. The OP's ego loved getting attention from this guy and the OP's ego is hating being rejected.

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movingonnow1 Established Member

movingonnow1

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He may not be inlove with you but that doesn't mean he's not interested in you. You just weren't into him, no big deal.

 

He probably doesn't hate you, he just actually has self respect and is moving on. I know in his shoes I would have did the exact same thing. It doesn't matter how short it is, his intentions were to date you / be with you and you weren't down. What else do you think he should've done? Keep talking to you? You know deep down inside it was the best play for him, no matter how much it burned you.

 

100% agree with this.

 

This is about you OP and not him. I have a feeling you're gonna have a hard time getting over this due to your ego being bruised here. I've been through it and seen it a lot on this thread. You need to resist the urges to reach out to him...don't confuse these feelings for "liking" him. As Lauri and you have said, you're not attracted to him. That can be for many many reasons, so don't think that your feelings for him are going to change after this.

 

Your attraction is going to peak temporarily, but once you two talk again you'll realize and start noticing exactly why you told him you don't want to date. Doesn't mean you don't enjoy his company, but you can't enjoy someone else company when they're giving it to you to end up with you in the end.

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Mrin Established Member

Mrin

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Dear God. Reading that original post was like watching a toddler with a loaded hand gun.

 

I don't mean to be mean, OP, but that's how it reads. Totally random and almost oblivious to the ramifications of what you were doing.

 

My best advice to you is just to leave the poor man alone. Learn from this experience. Apply it in the future.

 

Also - we all go a little nuts now and then.

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