emsx0x Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Hello, i just met a guy and had one date and it went really well. He isn't much of a planner I can tell because he uses the word "hang" instead of making it clear that he's asking me out. Anyway, I was just wondering everyone's opinions on why guys say "let's hang" or "well hang out" as opposed to "I'll take you out" or "we'll get together". Hang out just sounds really informal and kind of shows to me that the guy isn't all that interested in a relationship? I could be wrong.
winny Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 At least someone is hanging out with you... LOL Have fun!! Nothing happening here... :lmao: 1
basil67 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Don't make assumptions which link a guy's planning ability with his degree of interest. My hubby is a hopeless planner. That said, at least he comes up with "hey, lets go somewhere for dinner tonight" and we'll trawl the restaurant strip looking for a good option. Same goes for movies and picnics and pretty much anything else. If a guy asks you to "hang out", reply with "sure, what have you got in mind?" Put it back on him. And while Netflix and chill is great at times, you'd expect to go out together and do nice stuff too. Lastly, don't forget to take the reigns sometimes. Men also appreciate a bit of effort on our part. 2
Author emsx0x Posted January 5, 2017 Author Posted January 5, 2017 Don't make assumptions which link a guy's planning ability with his degree of interest. My hubby is a hopeless planner. That said, at least he comes up with "hey, lets go somewhere for dinner tonight" and we'll trawl the restaurant strip looking for a good option. Same goes for movies and picnics and pretty much anything else. If a guy asks you to "hang out", reply with "sure, what have you got in mind?" Put it back on him. And while Netflix and chill is great at times, you'd expect to go out together and do nice stuff too. Lastly, don't forget to take the reigns sometimes. Men also appreciate a bit of effort on our part. Yeah I don't mind planning, but we've only had one date and he paid and everything so it WAS clear that it was a date. And he clearly showed interest by texting me the next day but he said "I'll msg you soon and we'll hang" lol.
dpass Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Shows immaturity, IMO. Now, if he says "hang at my place" that means sex 99% of the time, if not more. 1
Simple Logic Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 (edited) Hello, i just met a guy and had one date and it went really well. He isn't much of a planner I can tell because he uses the word "hang" instead of making it clear that he's asking me out. Anyway, I was just wondering everyone's opinions on why guys say "let's hang" or "well hang out" as opposed to "I'll take you out" or "we'll get together". Hang out just sounds really informal and kind of shows to me that the guy isn't all that interested in a relationship? I could be wrong. No you are not wrong. Some how the idea of going on a date a doing something fun together has been replaced by let's just go to my place and hook up. If someone asks me out and without a plan, I am not going. Edited January 5, 2017 by Simple Logic
basil67 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Yeah I don't mind planning, but we've only had one date and he paid and everything so it WAS clear that it was a date. And he clearly showed interest by texting me the next day but he said "I'll msg you soon and we'll hang" lol. Great! Your reply to this should be "Looking foward to it. What have you got in mind?" 2
lakerman34 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 I feel like I'm more deliberate about the "lets hang out as friends" vs. "lets hang out, but really, date." To me, I'll ask a girl to "hang out" if I don't think the word "date" would help our situation. The word "date" has a lot of expectations attached to it, and to me, is more formal (I pay, I do the whole "don't talk much, but when I do, use sexy voice thing," etc.) To some girls, "hang out" is definitely informal. I used to see this underwear model. I remember saying "come over, lets watch a movie, eat a pizza, just hang out." She liked the idea, but at the last minute bailed because she had an actual PLAN involving going out with friends she hadn't seen in a while come up. I got upset, told her my grievance, and her response was, "you said NOTHING about a date. It was just a hang out. I thought it was just casual, being in each others presence sort of thing." But yeah. Point is, I think there are too many expectations that causes a lot of anxiety/stress attached to the D word.
basil67 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 I feel like I'm more deliberate about the "lets hang out as friends" vs. "lets hang out, but really, date." To me, I'll ask a girl to "hang out" if I don't think the word "date" would help our situation. The word "date" has a lot of expectations attached to it, and to me, is more formal (I pay, I do the whole "don't talk much, but when I do, use sexy voice thing," etc.) To some girls, "hang out" is definitely informal. I used to see this underwear model. I remember saying "come over, lets watch a movie, eat a pizza, just hang out." She liked the idea, but at the last minute bailed because she had an actual PLAN involving going out with friends she hadn't seen in a while come up. I got upset, told her my grievance, and her response was, "you said NOTHING about a date. It was just a hang out. I thought it was just casual, being in each others presence sort of thing." But yeah. Point is, I think there are too many expectations that causes a lot of anxiety/stress attached to the D word. Why would you ask a girl to hang out 1:1 if you don't want to date her?
Simple Logic Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 I feel like I'm more deliberate about the "lets hang out as friends" vs. "lets hang out, but really, date." To me, I'll ask a girl to "hang out" if I don't think the word "date" would help our situation. The word "date" has a lot of expectations attached to it, and to me, is more formal (I pay, I do the whole "don't talk much, but when I do, use sexy voice thing," etc.) To eesome girls, "hang out" is definitely informal. I used to see this underwear model. I remember saying "come over, lets watch a movie, eat a pizza, just hang out." She liked the idea, but at the last minute bailed because she had an actual PLAN involving going out with friends she hadn't seen in a while come up. I got upset, told her my grievance, and her response was, "you said NOTHING about a date. It was just a hang out. I thought it was just casual, being in each others presence sort of thing." But yeah. Point is, I think there are too many expectations that causes a lot of anxiety/stress attached to the D word. A less formal hang out the girl spilts the cost of the movie/pizza and formal hang out is when you pay for the movie and pizza and use your sexy voice. I can see where that lowers the stress/anxiety level a lot.
Kiwi_Girl Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 What does his body language tell you when you "hang out"?
lakerman34 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Why would you ask a girl to hang out 1:1 if you don't want to date her? I have lady friends that I don't want to sleep with, but I enjoy spending time with.
Nofairydust Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 The guy I was recently seeing would say "hang out" too. I think it does indicate lack of effort or interest. He doesn't want to take you on a formal date thus it removes all the expectations that might come after a formal date.
Lansing Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 I have used the phrase "we should hang out soon", etc many times and it wasn't in a casual "I just want to have sex with you" kind of way. Sometimes if I meet a girl out in real life I am not sure if they see a romantic interest in me so I will make it more of a casual "lets hang out" type thing to see if there is mutual interest vs. having her need to decide "do I want to date this guy". Some girls have thought I was only interested in friendship but we ended up dating anyway. If I had framed it like "this is officially a date" they might not have even given me a chance
Gloria25 Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Great! Your reply to this should be "Looking foward to it. What have you got in mind?" Yes.... PLEASE ask him to elaborate. I've learned the hard way with some guys not to "assume" anything. So, if he says you're "ok"....no, make sure you ask him to explain what does 'ok" mean cuz before you know it, time will go by, he'll be smiling in your face the whole time, then you find out that you were NOT ok and that he couldn't stand to even breathe the same air you did. Worse, instead of telling you, he's gonna "assume" you read his mind and what he "assumed" you meant. Communication people....
five2nine Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 It depends on the guy and you should clarify it with him. My bf would always say "let's hang out" and also refer to time with platonic friends as "hanging out". So it really bothered me at first and I said something about it. But he confirmed he did think of our time together as real dates and that's what matters Ask him 1
preraph Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 They're hoping to hang out and end up getting laid without putting forth any effort, without stating their intentions by following some dating conventions, and without paying for anything. The correct response to that is "Sorry I already have PLANS."
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