How do I find an opportunity to have a conversation with this girl before asking her

[weab00]

There's this really cute girl at my high school. I'm 17 and she's also 17. She isn't in any of my classes, and she hangs out with her friends a lot during lunchtime, so there aren't many opportunities for me to talk to her. She knows me well enough to know my name (although nothing more), so it isn't like I could just walk up to her and introduce myself.

 

I know she reads a ton, so there's some potential for conversation there. The thing is, I don't want to just be some random "stranger"-ish person walking up to her and asking her out on a date. And starting a spontaneous conversation in the hallway might also be a bit weird for her. My goal is to have maybe 1 or 2 conversations with her before I ask her the question. I'm really just struggling to find situations to let them happen, though.

 

Do you think she'll get eventually get the message if I smile or wave at her every time she passes by in the hallway or is that too subtle of a move to make? I'd like to go up and talk to her, but I can't find any fitting situations to do so (and there's also obviously nerves). I know I'm stretching it, but I really need to at least try to go on a date with her.

 

Am I overthinking this?

 

Sorry for the ramble

[basil67]

I think it's a great idea for you to have those conversations first. You want to build some type of rapport before taking the leap.

 

When you pass her in the hall, catch her eye and say 'Hey'. If she starts responding happily or even initiating greetings, up the ante and have a chat when you see her in the canteen or library or whatever.

[weab00]

I think it's a great idea for you to have those conversations first. You want to build some type of rapport before taking the leap.

 

When you pass her in the hall, catch her eye and say 'Hey'. If she starts responding happily or even initiating greetings, up the ante and have a chat when you see her in the canteen or library or whatever.

Do girls typically catch onto this type of thing? Like after a while she'll get that I'm interested.

[basil67]

Do girls typically catch onto this type of thing? Like after a while she'll get that I'm interested.

 

Well I'm a woman. Though it's a very long time since I've been a teen

 

Do you know if she's single?

[weab00]

Well I'm a woman. Though it's a very long time since I've been a teen

 

Do you know if she's single?

 

I know for a fact that she's single (or else I wouldn't be trying to pursue her )

[preraph]

Smiling and waving at her is a GREAT start! If she has any interest, she will feel you are totally approachable and say a few words sometime. If she doesn't, she'll duck when she sees you coming.

[weab00]

Smiling and waving at her is a GREAT start! If she has any interest, she will feel you are totally approachable and say a few words sometime. If she doesn't, she'll duck when she sees you coming.

 

Thanks. What should I say after waving a couple of times (maybe after 2 or 3 days?)

[Gold Pile]

Maybe try more than 2 conversations before you ask her.

 

Tell her you caught a stinking freshman trying to glue a rubber rat onto her locker, you chased him away, and are letting her know so she won't be startled. Make sure to have a rubber rat with you to prove your story.

 

About this time I would be telling her it was warm in here and asking if it was ok to air out my junk. But I'm more advanced than you...go slower.

[basil67]

Thanks. What should I say after waving a couple of times (maybe after 2 or 3 days?)

 

What about "Hi, how are you?"

 

Seriously, this is just basic conversation. Nothing fancy. Just talk with her as you would a fellow human.

[spiderowl]

You could ask her to recommend books or something. Find out what she is interested in and then strike up a conversation on that. You could say someone told you she was a keen reader. Ask her what her favourite books are, that kind of thing.

[weab00]

You could ask her to recommend books or something. Find out what she is interested in and then strike up a conversation on that. You could say someone told you she was a keen reader. Ask her what her favourite books are, that kind of thing.

 

Dang, I really like this idea. I'll just say that I haven't been able to find any good books lately, and would appreciate some suggestions. Then, after reading it, I'll strike up a conversation with her about it.

[Grey40]

I was terrible with women in high school, but I'll offer you some advice anyways now that I've been a lot more confident. Good for you at being so not shy at 17.

 

The book things that was suggested by spiderowl is perfect. You knows she's a reader so it's totally perfect. Don't overthink it. Just talk to her like you would anyone else. Don't ask her out. Take it one step at a time. Have that first conversation, even if it's only 1-2 minutes long, make the connection, exchange names and get out of there before it gets awkward. Come back here, let us know how it goes. The idea is to keep "bumping" into her and each time build the conversation. You'll also gain a whole lot of confidence with each interaction, so that when you do finally ask her out, you'll do so very confidently.

[weab00]

I was terrible with women in high school, but I'll offer you some advice anyways now that I've been a lot more confident. Good for you at being so not shy at 17.

 

The book things that was suggested by spiderowl is perfect. You knows she's a reader so it's totally perfect. Don't overthink it. Just talk to her like you would anyone else. Don't ask her out. Take it one step at a time. Have that first conversation, even if it's only 1-2 minutes long, make the connection, exchange names and get out of there before it gets awkward. Come back here, let us know how it goes. The idea is to keep "bumping" into her and each time build the conversation. You'll also gain a whole lot of confidence with each interaction, so that when you do finally ask her out, you'll do so very confidently.

Thanks, man. I'm gonna go for it ^^