preraph Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 He's not going to want to go on that trip with you. If he does go it will be because it's paid for and no refunds and he will not want to share space with you. He sounds like he's already blaming you for stuff. There is no relationship to be saved here. That is not to say he might not get drunk and want to get laid if he does go on the trip. More likely, he'll flirt with other women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rachelhue Posted January 31, 2017 Author Share Posted January 31, 2017 It's been about a month and a half since my ex and I broke up and I've been doing pretty good. We have only spoken twice after the break up and the last time we spoke he told me he wanted nothing to do with me. I accepted this and went on my way. When we spoke, I felt like he was trying to make it seem like everything in his life was going great (getting drunk all the time with friends) and he kept telling me how I need to be comfortable seeing him and talking to him. After he told me he didn't want anything to do with me, he told his friends and one of his friends texted me saying he was sorry about how my ex reacted. I brushed it all off. I went out this weekend to a party with a friend and he ended up being there. There were enough people there that it didn't bother me that he was there. Some of our mutual friends were there and I was talking to one of them when my ex came up and dragged his friend away from me. I just walked to some new people then. I went upstairs at the party and saw my ex sitting with a few people and I didn't feel like saying hi to him yet or trying to make small talk so I just smiled when we saw each other and walked downstairs. He then came up to me and told me that I can't just walk away and make things awkward. He told me I need to be comfortable seeing him and what not. I just told him i'm not there yet. He was obviously drunk and then he said "This is my turf". I in turn said "Am I not supposed to be here?" and he said he didn't care that I was there and then he said "come here" to give me a hug and preceded to tell me that his friends were his friends before they were mine. During the party, everyone I knew said hi and then told me that my ex was extremely upset that I was at the party. It didn't bother me that he was there so I just would say "That's fine". After I went home, I was told he had a girl over all night. I am not so hurt by his behavior but I'm just confused. I feel like every time I get to a place where I am okay with the break up, something happens where he tells me that I need to be doing a better job at getting over it, that I need to rush with being okay seeing him. He lives in the same building as me, actually directly below me, so I know we will have encounters but I'm not ready to stop and chat with him. All I can handle is a smile and wave and I feel like every time I run into him, he makes me feel like I need to be over it already. I just don't get why he is telling me I need to be okay with seeing him when he told everyone that he was mad I was at the same party. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 He doesn't have the right to tell you how to feel or behave. That is completely up to you. If you don't feel comfortable talking to him, then don't do it. You don't have to justify yourself to him or anyone else. He is your ex, you don't owe him anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Just because he wants you to be comfortable around him does not mean you are required to do so. I think you handled yourself well at this party. The mutual friends seems like cool reasonable people. However, if they were his friends first, until you are more comfortable around him, I'd but some distance in there. What are the friends you had before you met him doing these days? Spend more time with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 If I had to guess he's projecting his feelings onto you. In other words...He keeps telling you that you need to be comfortable around him. I would guess he's not comfortable around you. When he says don't be awkward around him...He feels awkward around you. With that said he sounds immature. You do you and don't allow him to dictate how you should feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rachelhue Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Thank you for the comments everyone! The past few days have been a little rough, I've seen him around a couple times and I've tried to just smile and keep going but he just ignores me. He's been talking bad about me to his friends also and he's been being rude to my friends. He just always seems angry now and I haven't done anything lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author rachelhue Posted February 7, 2017 Author Share Posted February 7, 2017 Hello! My ex boyfriend and I broke up about two months ago. Our relationship was great and he dumped me out of the blue so he could prioritize himself and hang out with his guy friends more. I never begged or asked him to stay, we both kind of went our own way. He was very nice after the breakup initially and we talked twice. The second time he told me he wanted nothing to do with me and he told his friends that too. I just accepted this. His friends still talk to me and are friendly to me but recently my ex has been pretty nasty. I don't want to get back together with my ex, I just don't know how to ignore his actions. I went to a party recently and he confronted me about how I need to be comfortable seeing him and he was being a jerk to me and telling everyone he was upset I was at the party. He started complaining about me to his friends and making a big deal when I blocked him on snapchat. He is also seeing a new girl already and I feel betrayed. I feel like he lied about why he wanted to break up and I don't get how he could move on so fast. I was walking with a guy friend of mine yesterday and we past my ex and I smiled and said hey and he completely ignored me and said hi to my friend walking. He was ignoring my roommates up until yesterday when he started saying hello to them. I feel like he's playing games with me and it hurts. I'm trying to take the high road but I can't get it out of my head that he's already with a new girl when he told me he just wanted to hang out with the guys. I also don't get why he's being so rude to me and completely ignoring a "hello" Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 He's being rude because he know he lied to you about why he wanted to break up (the new girl was waiting) and his guilt won't let him take the blame so he has to tell himself what a terrible person you were. Don't speak to him unless he speaks first, stop hanging out with his friends because you may run into him/them which will set you back. Be done with all of them and hang out with your friends or meet new ones. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Hey OP I am very sorry you are going thru this. It must be very painful. Going thru a breakup plus dealing with his actions. I guess I have to ask why you two are running into each other so much? Can you walk a different way to class? Can you branch out into another social circle? Seeing him so much and hearing updates on his life is making the grieving process more painful. As much as possible have zero contact, and focus on your life, friends and dreams. Take care my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 You are doing GREAT! Don't blow it now! If you got him back, it would be on his terms and you'd still come last. You are absolutely right in doing the no contact with him. What right has he got to come crying about you adding guys to social media after he dumped you? Please. He is all about himself and his needs. You are not a match. Just accept that and realize that even though you were gracious during the breakup, he placed you last and then dumped you. Why would you even consider making a life with someone like that? If you had kids, he'd be NOWHERE TO BE FOUND while you slaved away and did everything. He is not a keeper. You can do better. Link to post Share on other sites
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