fairyfloff Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 Long time lurker.. I was in a very toxic relationship and finally managed to get out but finding that as more time goes by the more I miss him. I don't think I'm healing at all. 30 days (roughly): Received breadcrumbs, apologising for his behaviour, asking me for dinner, I was still angry at this point because he was not asking for another chance. I replied and told him to stop contacting me and that we can not be friends and blocked him. I unblocked a few weeks later. 60 days (roughly) - he reached out again, just prank calling me a couple of days before my bday and then did not call on the actual day. I tried to return his call but he did not pick up, I messaged him to see what he wanted and if it was nothing important to stop contacting me. He replied the next day that he will stop calling. It just affected me on the day but I was ok afterwards (my wallowing self). I then deleted and blocked all his friends from my fb as I found I got anxiety when I see their tagged photos because I was afraid to see his photos. I do hope to get back together, but I know he will never change and it won't work. I can't believe I still feel this way after all he's put me through. Sometimes I feel like reaching out to him and going for dinner, but I know I would feel horrible to hear if/when he's seeing someone else and that there would be nothing positive to come from it. I'm finding this is the most hardest relationship that I ever had to get over. I was just with him for over 2 years. My last ex (2 years) - I broke up with him and we both never contacted each other again. I don't think I ever loved him to begin with, I thought I did. I felt nothing from the break up. My first (7-8years) - we were so young then and both different people. It was more puppy love so I didn't feel as much pain as I do now.
KatZee Posted January 5, 2017 Posted January 5, 2017 "I was in a very toxic relationship." "I do hope to get back together." Wait, what? Why? No wonder you're not healing. You have absolutely no self esteem, and no love for yourself left. Stop unblocking him. You know you're only doing this because you're holding out hope that he'll miraculously change, confess his undying devotion to you, and love you until the end of time. This isn't a fairy tale. He was toxic before. He's toxic now. He doesn't even care about you enough to let you move on. He knows you're weak and he can stick his foot in the door and come and go as he pleases. Stop entertaining him. Stop taking his calls. Block him for good and leave him there. There is no need to call him back to ask what he wants. Just because it's been 60 days doesn't mean you're healing. Time does not heal wounds, but in time, we can all heal our wounds. You need to learn to love yourself, rebuild yourself, your self esteem and everything else. Don't hold out hope for this guy. Kick him to the curb and leave him in the trash where he belongs. 6
Author fairyfloff Posted January 5, 2017 Author Posted January 5, 2017 Thanks Katzee! I know its for the best that we broke up. Hopefully I will be strong enough to stick this one out
spoonsha Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 Hey, I am also trying to do NC and get out of a toxic relationship. I am on Day 1 and need help at times to fight the urge to contact him. I am wondering if we can be breakup buddy and share stories/thoughts and encourage each other to go through this tough time. Let me know
ZayKayWill Posted February 1, 2017 Posted February 1, 2017 Hey, I am also trying to do NC and get out of a toxic relationship. I am on Day 1 and need help at times to fight the urge to contact him. I am wondering if we can be breakup buddy and share stories/thoughts and encourage each other to go through this tough time. Let me know That completely takes away the point of NC... Topic Creator if you were together for 2 years its going to take a lot longer than 2 months to get over. Stop talking to him. It's not helping you.
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