caputo77 Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 I dated this guy shortly last semester but seeing as I’m going to be out of the country for this coming semester and he’s going to be already graduated when I come back next year, we decided to end things romantically and hope for another shot sometime in the future if we end up in the same place. We ended up cutting contact just before Thanksgiving because pretending to be just friends was really hard for me. I didn’t want to be hung up on him while I was gone, and he wanted to have a stress free and fun final semester so we thought that would be best. Buttttttt I really miss him. Not even just romantically but I miss talking to him and having him as a part of my life. I received Christmas and New Year’s texts from him (not generic ones that get sent to everyone, but personal ones), and although that’s the only contact we’ve had in over a month, I think they’re his way of saying he misses me too. While I’m definitely not interested in getting back together or even being in contact to the same degree as we were before (i.e. seeing each other regularly and texting every single day), I would like to at least be able to chat and catch up every once in a while to keep him in my life until I get back and we can reevaluate our situation. I’m going to be back on campus the week before I leave the country to say goodbye to some friends. Should I try to meet up with him while I’m around, just for lunch or coffee or something to catch up and say bye? I’m conflicted because I don’t want to seem desperate and I’m afraid of how I’ll feel if he says no, or even how I’ll feel if he says yes. But I also don’t want to not let him know I’m around because I know if I found out that he had been near me and didn’t even bother to tell me, I would be pretty hurt. I don’t want to hurt him like that and make him think I don’t even care anymore. Also, would it be desperate or out of line to text him every once in a while while we’re apart? Not even to start conversations, but just short texts hoping he’s well or something like that to show I still think/care about him? We had many conversations throughout our relationship about the future and how we could both see things long term with each other after we just get through this next year independently, since neither of us want to ruin our potential relationship with the strain of long distance. We genuinely just want what’s best for each other over this next year while we know we can’t be together. I’m just very afraid that if we stop talking completely like we’ve done for this past month we will lose each other.
mikeylo Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 You are all over the place. You both ended romantic relationship. Now you want to stay in contact but don't want much but still want some but by not doing this or that but still want but again don't want. Take some time to sort out what exactly you want. You wouldn't need anyone's help to figure it out.
Gloria25 Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 Nothing wrong with having pen pals, but with you both being young and still in transitional stages in life, maybe best not to invest so much energy into this one. I know it's terrible - especially when in that short time you kick it off with someone, you just wanna hold onto it cuz it's rare and may not find the same again, but sometimes life doesn't allow it. I'm so hurting over what happened with dude. I also miss talking him. I miss his smile too. I'm so upset and wondering if I'm a fool to even try to speak to him again. Cuz like you, may have the opportunity to see him again - but by then he probably will not feel the same about me (like outta sight, outta mind), worst, I still wonder if he really didn't wanna have a thing to do with me all the time. Last smile from him probably was him just being polite
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