LightningJunkie Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 So I met this girl online. Our first date went really well. We had dinner and I took her to see Christmas lights. She always stayed real close to me and never backed away the whole time. After the first date, she told me that she wanted a second date and that I was just the kind of person she wanted in her life. A couple days later, we had our second date. I picked her up at her place where I met her parents for a brief minute and then I took her to my place where we watched TV all afternoon. She wasn't feeling to well, so I made the date just relaxing and hanging out. We had a good time. She let me hold her hand and get real close to her just like on the first date. She even met a couple of my roommates. After the second date, she told me that she truly believed that I could be the special person in her life. She even invited me to her family's New Years Eve party. All was well. So New Years Eve, I went to her family's party and had a good time. I could tell though that something was off because she spent more time interacting with her family than she did with me. I got to know her parents more and her siblings. She has a nice family. After the party started to dwindle late at night, we were both really tired. I ended up sleeping on her couch (which she said was totally fine and her parents were cool with it as well) because I didn't feel like driving and I had several drinks in my system. Before I fell asleep, she sat with me on the couch and we talked about her family for a little bit. I asked to hold her hand, but she declined which I thought was weird and sort of a red flag because we held hands just fine on the second date. I woke up before she did the next morning and I talked with her dad for a while before she woke up. When she woke up, she told me that she was still really tired and she was going to sleep more and that I should leave. She hardly said anything to me as I packed my stuff and left. It was really strange and I felt like I was rushed out. I did not even get a chance to say goodbye to her parents. When I got back home, I texted her saying I had a good time and hope to see her family again. She didn't respond all day. The next day, I text her asking if everything is ok and she tells me that she lost the connection with me. I asked her why, but she never responded to the question. What happened? I am so confused. I thought everything was going well and she seemed really into me. What should I do? I really like this girl and want to try and rekindle what we had. Thanks for the help.
smackie9 Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 A) she felt things were moving a little too fast. B) her ex got in contact with her. C) she realized that she misses her ex and isn't ready for a relationship. D) she realized she wasn't that into you or feelings didn't progress. E) Her parents may have insisted to give you another chance and invite you to spend New Years with them, to see....... Don't bother trying anything, she told you she isn't interested, so you are better to respect her wishes. She KNOWS you really like her, and knows where to find you if she changes her mind. It's best to just leave it alone.
NinjaX Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 It's tough to pinpoint a reason since we are not mind readers, but I can speculate. Maybe her family influenced her thoughts... Something that caught my attention though is that you said you asked to hold her hand... that comes off as a little needy and insecure. Women want you to be confident instead of asking for permission, especially if you held her hand before. While that's a small thing, it suggests to me that you may have acted needy in other ways you may not have noticed. Meeting family on a 3rd date sounds like everything is moving really fast in my opinion. Maybe she had fun with you in the beginning, but now it's getting serious, she's having doubts. Again, it difficult to isolate the reasons, but my suggestion now is to avoid contacting her, give her space to work out her emotions. If she reaches out, make a date. Otherwise, as much as it sucks, moving on is your best option. One thing for sure now is if you continue to chase her and not give her space, she will back off even more. That's almost a guarantee.
Larryville Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 Don't bother trying anything, she told you she isn't interested, so you are better to respect her wishes. One thing for sure now is if you continue to chase her and not give her space, she will back off even more. That's almost a guarantee. ^ They are absolutely right… having had this happen to me recently I can tell you, don’t waste one freaking moment more trying to decipher her. Move on… don’t waste time. Choose people who choose you!
IfonlyIknew Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 A couple of things come to mind, first thing is that you felt that she was distant as she was interacting with her family, were you acting in any way needy or "smothering" her in a way? She should have been interacting with her family as she also was probably watching how you are socially. Were you off mingling with the family? The hand hold is a no no as someone mentioned, never ask, just do. Also how were your manners/were you sloppy at all? Drinks in your system, did you get a little carried away? I have been instantly turned off from a guy who went in my fridge and spilled a whole bottle of champagne everywhere that he didn't ask to open or drink. Just trying to think from her view if there was anything that she seen that wasn't quite right.
Simple Logic Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 (edited) So I met this girl online. Our first date went really well. We had dinner and I took her to see Christmas lights. She always stayed real close to me and never backed away the whole time. After the first date, she told me that she wanted a second date and that I was just the kind of person she wanted in her life. A couple days later, we had our second date. I picked her up at her place where I met her parents for a brief minute and then I took her to my place where we watched TV all afternoon. She wasn't feeling to well, so I made the date just relaxing and hanging out. We had a good time. She let me hold her hand and get real close to her just like on the first date. She even met a couple of my roommates. After the second date, she told me that she truly believed that I could be the special person in her life. She even invited me to her family's New Years Eve party. All was well. So New Years Eve, I went to her family's party and had a good time. I could tell though that something was off because she spent more time interacting with her family than she did with me. I got to know her parents more and her siblings. She has a nice family. After the party started to dwindle late at night, we were both really tired. I ended up sleeping on her couch (which she said was totally fine and her parents were cool with it as well) because I didn't feel like driving and I had several drinks in my system. Before I fell asleep, she sat with me on the couch and we talked about her family for a little bit. I asked to hold her hand, but she declined which I thought was weird and sort of a red flag because we held hands just fine on the second date. I woke up before she did the next morning and I talked with her dad for a while before she woke up. When she woke up, she told me that she was still really tired and she was going to sleep more and that I should leave. She hardly said anything to me as I packed my stuff and left. It was really strange and I felt like I was rushed out. I did not even get a chance to say goodbye to her parents. When I got back home, I texted her saying I had a good time and hope to see her family again. She didn't respond all day. The next day, I text her asking if everything is ok and she tells me that she lost the connection with me. I asked her why, but she never responded to the question. What happened? I am so confused. I thought everything was going well and she seemed really into me. What should I do? I really like this girl and want to try and rekindle what we had. Thanks for the help. You are boring. You went on a nice first date, but then nothing. Maybe you should ask her out to do something fun rather than hanging out at your house watching TV or going to her house and talking to her father. Edited January 4, 2017 by Simple Logic 1
Author LightningJunkie Posted January 4, 2017 Author Posted January 4, 2017 Thanks for the help guys. I think it's just best if I move on. There are too many "what ifs" to think about and it will just drive me crazy. One thing that I failed to mention though is that she has fibromyalgia and goes through lots of mood swings because of that. She gets exhausted and tired very quickly. That was why we did not do anything special, but hang out and watch TV on the second date because she was sick and her fibromyalgia symptoms were acting up. As for everything that could have went wrong on the third date...she was the one that suggested I meet her family and stuff, so I don't see how I was rushing anything then. Also, I was drinking, but I did not make a fool of myself. She was happy to make me drinks as well. I was a little quiet around her family, but I thought I opened up more as the night went on. Wouldn't anyone be a little quiet when you first meet your date's family? Again there are too many "what ifs." Sending a "I miss you text" in a week or so would be too needy right?
umirano Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 You moved way too fast. Build a relationship. Relationships consist of relating, to each other. Did you ever do that? And what's with the hand holding??? Some women would rather have a mans baby before holding his hand. That's kinda intimate. If a woman held my hand on the second date, and I wasn't completely crazy about her I'd be really uneasy. Edit: It's not a case of sudden disinterest. There was no interest to begin with.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 You say you met on her online - where, exactly? A dating app/site? She could well be multi-dating and met someone else who she felt a better connection with. Or maybe a former flame resurfaced over the holidays, which often happens.
NinjaX Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 Sending a "I miss you text" in a week or so would be too needy right? I would recommend you go no contact and only reply if she reaches out. Any "I miss you" is needy and will likely drive her away even more. Remember, she dumped you, so the only way for this relationship to work it if she makes the effort now and make it up to you.
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