zingyzing Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 (edited) So there's this girl I like. She's got 1.5 years left of undergrad and I graduated in May. I saw her about 4 weeks ago (she is on break now and traveling), she was crying over a failed exam and so I went to her place and talked with her for a few hours. I broke the touch barrier many times. We were sitting on the floor and my arm was contacting her leg since I was laying on my side and she didn't move her leg. I touched her shoulder a few times while comforting her. Gave her several hugs. Put my arm around her once for like 5 seconds. Playfully hit her when she said something stupid. Tickled her. I managed to cheer her up to the point where she started jokingly calling me an old man since I am 2 years older than her. Then she was teasing me about the city I work in saying it's ratchet (she knows it isn't) and then called me ratchet. All the while, she was kind of giggling. I knocked over a board that was behind her dresser on accident and she laughed at that too. Then my friends texted me since I was supposed to hang with them but stayed longer than anticipated and while I was on the phone with one of them, she was mouthing the words "where the f*** are you?" while laughing to herself. Then when I had to leave, she walked me down to the exit (it wasn't my first time there). Since September, we text and snapchat a lot (not every day though) since we are about 3 hours apart and she is in her busiest year of college. She usually snapchats me first and if I reply, she always replies and we usually end up snapping until one of us goes to bed or has a committment where we will be away from our phones for a bit. She usually tells me beforehand if she is going to be absent for a bit and says she will reply in so and so minutes so I am not left wondering why she hasn't replied. I usually text her first and she always responds to me. Sometimes we talk about nothing and just goof around and other times, the conversations are more intimate. We also usually talk until one of us goes to bed. She usually responds within a few minutes (not sure if it's because she's just always by her phone). I think the longest I've ever had to wait was like an hour or two. And she usually responds to anything, even if I just text an emoji or "smh" or something. I compliment her sometimes when I notice something in her snaps (like how pretty she looks with short hair) and we tease each other a lot while texting. I texted her on New Years telling her Happy New Year and saying I enjoyed hanging with her the few times we did this past semester (3 times, though I don't count the first time since it wasn't isolated) and suggested we should keep it going. She responded thanking me, wishing me a happy new year, and saying for sure about keeping up the hangouts. She told me to let her know next time I go down to our university. I have hinted at seeing her more frequently this semester. I use "hangout" because she's seemed like the type of girl that doesn't like using the word "date." I tried using date before and she said let's call it hanging out. I asked her about it and she told me she uses date for official bf-gf hangouts, "if even that." It's that "if even that" that implied to me that she may not even like using "date" all that much to begin with, so I just do what makes her feel most comfortable by not using "date", but trying to make my intention clear through my body language during our few hangouts in person, the flirting, and the questions I ask her when we talk both in text and in person. But this conversation was about a month before the most recent time we saw each other. Do you think there is something there? Maybe she's interested? I am going down to visit my friends in a few weeks once they get off break and might ask to take her out and continue my escalation by putting my arm around her more and asking her about her childhood and maybe hopefully kissing her if I feel the moment. I understand this is a potential "long distance" thing, but not so far that I cannot make weekend trips there when she's free to chill. Any advice/suggestions? Sorry for the long post! I tend to be overly detailed when asking for advice..I appreciate any help or ideas you can give! Thanks! Edited January 4, 2017 by zingyzing
Author zingyzing Posted January 6, 2017 Author Posted January 6, 2017 (edited) Bump Any thoughts? Maybe? Sorry! I am just not very experienced at picking up signals...I've never really been in a serious relationship before. Edited January 6, 2017 by zingyzing
Erik30 Posted January 6, 2017 Posted January 6, 2017 I think she only sees you as a (close) friend. " I tried using date before and she said let's call it hanging out." Most people who are really interested in someone probably wouldn't say something like that. Ask her out and make clear it's a date, not just friends hanging out. At least you'll get a straight answer so you can move on.
Simple Logic Posted January 6, 2017 Posted January 6, 2017 You are her guy buddy and there is no use wasting your time if she denies your final date request.
TheAntiHero Posted January 6, 2017 Posted January 6, 2017 So, she wants to call it "hanging out" not a "date". Doesn't get any clearer than that; for whatever reason she's not interested in you. OP, if I were you just move on to the next.
preraph Posted January 6, 2017 Posted January 6, 2017 Well, at first it sounded like she might be open to something more, and maybe she is, but no one discourages a man from using the word "date" if she is really interested in him right now. I think that was her way of letting you know you're not a date but a friend. Maybe you should just tell her you are looking for a woman to DATE. Be up front about it. Say "I'm not looking for a friend to hang out with. I am looking for a woman to date. So is that a no?" See what she says. You got nothing to lose. Because a woman who is letting you touch her and stuff and then acting like it's nothing, well, that could go on and keep your hopes up for a long time -- and still never change a thing.
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