dufour Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Hi there. Got a second date coming up and I wondering whether or not I should offer to collect my date from her house and drive her to the location of our second date. It's only a second date and I don't want to come across as being too keen, nor do I want to intimidate her, but I at least want to show I'm being courteous. What do you think? Thanks
hippychick3 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 There is nothing wrong with asking! I, personally, preferred to drive myself the first few dates so don't take it personally if she says no. I was never offended or turned off when the guy suggested picking me up unless he was pushy about it. 3
IfonlyIknew Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I've never heard that term before "collect her" must be another term outside the US? 2nd date, I would want to drive myself, you can offer but if she is all trying to be polite "I think I rather drive" let it be. 1
allez102 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I've never heard that term before "collect her" must be another term outside the US? It's perfectly good English. I'm from the UK OP and know exactly what you mean! *eyeroll* I would offer to collect her. It's a nice idea, worst that can happen is she says no which is reasonable too. 1
Mrin Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 What Hippychick said. Offer. it is the polite thing to do. But if she declines, don't take it personally. 1
angel.eyes Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Just confirming our date at XYZ tomorrow at 7 pm.Would you like me to pick you or do you prefer to meet at XYZ? 1
heavenonearth Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Just confirming our date at XYZ tomorrow at 7 pm.Would you like me to pick you or do you prefer to meet at XYZ? I would not ask 'either, or'. Because if a guy would write this to me, I wouldn't think he'd really want to pick me up, and I would say "oh, i just meet you there", I would definitely never ever reply to this with a "ohhhh yeah pick me up". just ask "I would like to pick you up tomorrow at 7, how does that sound?" That way she feels flattered, since you wanna pick her up, but she can also say "it's ok, we can meet there". Don't give option of either or. More playful, less formal. What is this, a job interview? Lol.
angel.eyes Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 To each her own. I prefer when a guy is thoughtful enough to give me a choice and an out, rather than putting me on the spot and forcing me to say "no."
heavenonearth Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 To each her own. I prefer when a guy is thoughtful enough to give me a choice and an out, rather than putting me on the spot and forcing me to say "no." Mh, yeah, I don't see it like that, there really is no forcing, it would just imply that he has a preference. "how does that sound" implies that he cares how she feels about it, so he really would not be forcing her. Alternatively, he could ask "does that sound good to you?" or "would you like that?"
sandylee1 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I prefer to drive myself that early in the dating, but it's nice to offer. Makes you sound like more of a gentleman.
mortensorchid Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 Be sure to clean your car out first if you do. I don't think it's bad to offer to pick up (or collect someone ha ha ha) on the second date. I'd actually heard that term on a Canadian TV show years ago and realized what it meant. Watch out for ... An odd response though. Sorry, can't help but share something ... Years ago I was going to go out with someone on our second date. I offered to come and pick him up and he said okay. He met me standing outside the front door of the house, I picked him up and we went on our way. Then at the end we said good-bye, and he did not invite me in. He said on the phone a day or two later that he did it because he lived at home with his parents. I said that was nothing to be ashamed of, he told me some other things about his family situation which lead me to believe that he was not the person I wanted to be with anymore. And I cut him out of the picture. Neither here nor there, I'm sure this woman isn't in the same situation, but ask how she feels about your coming to pick her up.
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