Foxbat111 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 to cut a long story short, me and my ex were friends, for near 10 month, we liked each other from the first day , but she had a boyfriend , so time passed and she became available, we started dating , but then I became needy and she rejected me and tried to friendzone me. I went on no contact rule , and told her : tell me if you change your mind after 1 and half month she messaged me on my birthday ( 26 dec ) and apologized me and told me that she is ''incorrect'' girl on 31 dec, I wrote her some new Year Message Wish on facebook , she thanked me, next i asked her some random question to start a chat but she didnot even read it ( no ''seen'' ) . I am in love with her ( she's my first love and first girl which I liked in my life ) , and i cant forget her , now I am dating other girl, but my 99% of heart, is still with her what can i do? it there still a chance that my ex will return? or how to forget her? I have already deleted, her number, her photos, unfollowed her on fb, deleted all chat , dating other girl but ... p.s. sorry for my bad English
LargoLagg Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Date more than one girl. It's not fair to the one you have right now, and it wouldn't be fair to you if you didn't date at all. So date more than one girl. Oh, and no, you'll never get the first one back. Almost nobody ever does.
MeadowFlower Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Do not. I repeat. Do not date that other girl if your heart is still with someone else. It could end up hurting her. Or at least tell her you still have feelings for your ex. It's painful when your boyfriend goes back to his ex... 2
Author Foxbat111 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 ok but whats about ex? why she apologized me? It was Just words and no action ? What was the porpose ? and now she even dont want to talk ? I dont understand her logic
MeadowFlower Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Did she say she was sorry she had broken up with you? Maybe you could contact her and ask to meet up for both of you to talk about things. Don't talk over Facebook or texting, it must be in person. Or at the very least on the phone. If she agrees to meet just simply without letting your emotions get out of control, tell her genuinely and sincerely how you feel, and what you would like. However also respect her feelings and what she wants, which may be different to your desires. Anyway in the end, it is all up to you, act out of your own mind not my comment.
Author Foxbat111 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) Did she say she was sorry she had broken up with you? no, but she meant that , it was just birthday wish, with a hint , that i deserved correct person then I also answered with a hint, that everything was OK, and I let him to contact me whenever she wants , and she just said ''thank you''. Edited January 3, 2017 by Foxbat111
kendahke Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I am in love with her ( she's my first love and first girl which I liked in my life ) , and i cant forget her , now I am dating other girl, but my 99% of heart, is still with her what can i do? If you're still in love with your ex, then be the decent, honorable guy and break up with the new girl until you figure out who you want to be with more--because it doesn't sound like you want to be with the new girl at all. It looks like you're using her as a placeholder until your ex decides she wants to deal with you. Does she know you're in still hung up on your ex? You're not over your ex if you're declaring that you're still in love with her. 2
kendahke Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) ok but whats about ex? why she apologized me? It was Just words and no action ? What was the porpose ? and now she even dont want to talk ? I dont understand her logic she was trying to find out where your head is, not necessarily that she wants you back (IOW, setting you up to be manipulated because she knows you want her back and she's going to use this to her advantage) Edited January 3, 2017 by kendahke 1
Author Foxbat111 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) If you're still in love with your ex, then be the decent, honorable guy and break up with the new girl until you figure out who you want to be with more--because it doesn't sound like you want to be with the new girl at all. It looks like you're using her as a placeholder until your ex decides she wants to deal with you. Does she know you're in still hung up on your ex? You're not over your ex if you're declaring that you're still in love with her. no my friend this new girl was also my friend, and she knows that, i still have feeling with ex (IOW, setting you up to be manipulated because she knows you want her back and she's going to use this to her advantage) but why? and how she will use me? i already told her, not to contact me unless she changes her mind ( during the no contact rule) so, if we follow your thought, she will contact me right? as a ''friend'' Edited January 3, 2017 by Foxbat111
morrowrd Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 She must have had a falling out with whatever relationship she was in, and looking at her options. My advice? Don't be someone's option. Focus on your new girl, appreciate what you have with her. 2
kendahke Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 no my friend this new girl was also my friend, and she knows that, i still have feeling with ex and she is cool being demoted? If so, that makes me wonder about her and her perception of her own self worth. but why? and how she will use me? i already told her, not to contact me unless she changes her mind but she contacted you and her mind wasn't changed, was it? She just wanted to know where you were, not that she wanted you back. so, if we follow your thought, she will contact me right? as a ''friend'' Don't be so desperate. You don't want a friend: you want her as a lover--as your girlfriend. If you put her on block, which you should have done with a new girlfriend on board, then you won't have to worry about that happening, am I right? Yes I am. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Date more than one girl. It's not fair to the one you have right now, and it wouldn't be fair to you if you didn't date at all. So date more than one girl. Oh, and no, you'll never get the first one back. Almost nobody ever does. This is absolutely atrocious! NO, what IS UNFAIR is that this guy is dating other girls with whom he has little interest in creating a relationship! The OP should stop dating other ladies or make it clear that he is on the rebound b/c he is in love with an ex. Poor advice. 4
kendahke Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 She must have had a falling out with whatever relationship she was in, and looking at her options. ^^^this right here. She's on a fishing expedition with you. How do I know that? Because she didn't follow up with an apology, some atoning for her behavior and her asking for you to come back and be her boyfriend. She was more like "oh, here is where you are. Good to know so I can find you and yank your chain when I need amusement". This is all way too messy. You need to make a decision and be fair to the new girl because from what you've written so far, your concern is mainly with what the ex is doing and no where near being focused on growing this new relationship with this new girl. If you were being treated in this manner, what would you want us to tell the person writing in about choosing between you and her ex? 4
Satu Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 From my journal: "Never begin a new relationship until you've fully moved on from the one before. Also never begin a new relationship with someone who hasn't fully moved on from their one before. By 'moved on,' I mean any necessary grieving done, not preoccupied with the ex, enjoying life, feeling good about yourself, and optimistic about the future. The best way to move on is to decide to be single for a while; not dating, not hooking up, no fwb. 'Get back on the horse' is sound advice, but its best to let the cuts and bruises heal before you do." Take care. 1
Author Foxbat111 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) and she is cool being demoted? If so, that makes me wonder about her and her perception of her own self worth. its a long story because of one big reason we willnot be together, so Dating only to get sex ( but yes i like her ) , and I think That she want that too Don't be so desperate. You don't want a friend: you want her as a lover--as your girlfriend. I mnot going to be her friend, i didnot mean that i just asked, will she contact me? and what to do when she will do this? Edited January 3, 2017 by Foxbat111
umirano Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I mnot going to be her friend, i didnot mean that i just asked, will she contact me? and what to do when she will do this? Probably, eventually everybody feels lonely, that's usually when exes reach out. She might just want to see if you still jump when she whistles. I suggest you keep doing what you're doing. Maintain NC, find other things to put your mind to. Date, casually, don't lead anybody on, eventually you'll find someone new. 1
Kelley Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 Unless your ex is saying I want you back, or making it clear she wants to try again she is not interested. Maybe she needed an ego stroke, or just to know you are still not over her, she is messing with your feelings and you are letting her! You really need to move on and heal before you start dating. You could meet an amazing girl, and when you are in love with someone else it will mean nothing. Let this girl go she deserves someone that could potentially give her their heart, yours is still taken.
Author Foxbat111 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Posted January 4, 2017 thanks for replies its will really help me I will tell my current ''girl'' , that I mnot ready for relationship ( and wont guarantee anything) , and will let her to decided herself what to do, keep dating and had just sex relationship or just go in our ways whats about my ex As I said, i have no one , so why not to return with my ex if she offers me ? but ofcourse I will keep searching and wont wait her
lakerman34 Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 to cut a long story short, me and my ex were friends, for near 10 month, we liked each other from the first day , but she had a boyfriend , so time passed and she became available, we started dating , but then I became needy and she rejected me and tried to friendzone me. I went on no contact rule , and told her : tell me if you change your mind after 1 and half month she messaged me on my birthday ( 26 dec ) and apologized me and told me that she is ''incorrect'' girl on 31 dec, I wrote her some new Year Message Wish on facebook , she thanked me, next i asked her some random question to start a chat but she didnot even read it ( no ''seen'' ) . I am in love with her ( she's my first love and first girl which I liked in my life ) , and i cant forget her , now I am dating other girl, but my 99% of heart, is still with her what can i do? it there still a chance that my ex will return? or how to forget her? I have already deleted, her number, her photos, unfollowed her on fb, deleted all chat , dating other girl but ... p.s. sorry for my bad English It happens, man. Life goes on, you should move on. I was 2 weeks away from graduating college, and the girl that was PERFECT for me just landed on my lap. To this day, I consider her the one that got away. We hooked up, then I went to South Africa for a four month internship, and it sort of just faded away. She's been dating the same guy for the past 2 year who, honestly, I think is perfect for her. She was perfect for me, she didn't feel the same way. She even told me once that if she was in control of who she liked, she probably would have made herself be into me, but that's not love works. I consider myself very intelligent. Extremely intelligent, even. She know EXACTLY what to say to get under my skin, she would outwit me, outsmart me, always a half-step ahead of me. I was so attracted to her. Since her, I've dated SO many women, even being in a couple of serious relationships. She comes back to my mind a LOT. I know it's never going to happen, and I'm OK with it. We have MANY "The Ones" in our life, she was one of mine. I just gotta find the next One. Hopefully my rambling helps you even a little bit.
kendahke Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 thanks for replies its will really help me I will tell my current ''girl'' , that I mnot ready for relationship ( and wont guarantee anything) , and will let her to decided herself what to do, keep dating and had just sex relationship or just go in our waysr Tell the new girl that you're not ready for the relationship and then LEAVE HER ALONE. You are the one who needs to exercise some self discipline here, not her. Unless she just wants a FWB with you and has been expressly clear about that intention since she first started talking to you, the reason why she is with you is because she wanted a boyfriend/relationship. Let her go, give her no false hope that anything is going to work out with you so long as you're sniffing in behind your ex. Have some integrity and don't use her for sex just because your ex isn't giving it up.
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