lilwing Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) I've been talking to this girl from POF since last week. I think she likes me and she is playing hard to get. At first it was obvious she was interested. Ever since New Year's she's been delaying her responses a bit, but still playful and showing interest. I asked her out; she said she would have to check her schedule at first, but after some banter she said it should work. Last night she texted me asking to reschedule our date tonight. She said her friends are claiming she promised to do something with them and that she mixed today with Weds, and had a :-/ at the end of the message asking to reschedule. She said she'd buy me a drink. I told her I'd call her tonight to reschedule, and she said she'd let me know when she's home. Today I noticed she hid her POF profile. I also noticed on FB (we're not friends, I just looked her up), she deleted one of three mutual friends we have. One of my best friends happens to know her; she went on a few dates with the guy she deleted but nothing happened. So she must have Facebooked me, saw we have him as a mutual friend, and then deleted him because she didn't want me to find out (?) What do you think? Moving forward, I'm going to be calling her more than texting. I'm thinking about asking her out for Thursday this week or Monday next week. Which is better? Should we continue to talk once the date is set up? Edited January 3, 2017 by lilwing
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 She is multi dating, she is interested in more than just you. Enjoy the competition. 1
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Tip: change your security setting on your FB page to Friends only so no one can stalk your friends list, etc.
Author lilwing Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 Thanks for the reply. What makes you think she is multi-dating? I don't get that impression. On the other hand, I am multi-dating... I don't cancel out dates; if I'm on the fence about somebody, I won't make plans with them.
Larryville Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 This perplexes me. If you are on a dating site regardless of which one and you think a woman is “nice looking” why in the world would you remotely believe she only is interested in you? How many dudes in a 100 mile radius (depending on where you live of course) also thinks the object of your desire is attractive and it trying to hit on her? IDK maybe hundreds and likely more for dudes who email any warm body or halfway decent photo they come across… It is very much is a competition
Author lilwing Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) ... because she gave me her number, stopped using the site and later on hid her profile? She also asked me if I was a 50 year old lesbian catfish. Doesn't sound like she's had very much luck. She also mentioned that she is a little jaded about dating right now and she was assaulted on the last date she went on. Part of me thinks she is just nervous or that she is being honest. I'm not getting the multi-dating/not serious vibe from her. Edited January 3, 2017 by lilwing
Larryville Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 ... because she gave me her number, stopped using the site and later on hid her profile? Ok, I’m “conversing” with 4 different women (only met one so far) all conversing with for less than a couple of weeks. 3 of 4 gave me their number after a couple of site emails. So do I assume that they are NOT communicating with other dudes? Hiding profiles is easy and how many OLD sites are there… Online Dating Magazine estimates that there are more than 2,500 online dating services online in the U.S. alone…. Not necessarily saying you are indeed “wrong” but OLD like Smack said is a big time competition. There is no reason why a woman would settle with conversing with one dude (unless her looks keep her from attracting dudes) Just saying....
oneinamillion93 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I would think something happened more than a few dates between her and your friend. I'm texting with a guy that dated one of my friends years ago, he still friends with her on facebook, I don't see why he has to unfriend my friend if they only went on a few dates, and the fact is they're still facebook friends which made me more relief. That means there is nothing serious or such between them. Anyway, you're multi-dating, you have more choice.
Author lilwing Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 I would think something happened more than a few dates between her and your friend. I would think so, too, knowing that guy. But honestly, it wouldn't bother me. I just thought it shows she is interested in me that she would delete that friend randomly because he hardly even uses FB anymore. Ok, I’m “conversing” with 4 different women (only met one so far) all conversing with for less than a couple of weeks. 3 of 4 gave me their number after a couple of site emails. So do I assume that they are NOT communicating with other dudes? In general yeah there are a lot of dating sites and people are messaging multiple people for sure. I haven't ruled out that she's not interested or that I might be her plan B/side option. It doesn't seem that way though.
Larryville Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Now I will add that when a woman has a “more than a casual interest” the conversations are a little different and the tone is difference not generic and a little more “mirroring” is going on and is responsive and most of all they are asking you questions.
oneinamillion93 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I would think so, too, knowing that guy. But honestly, it wouldn't bother me. I just thought it shows she is interested in me that she would delete that friend randomly because he hardly even uses FB anymore. yeah I would think it's a good sign showing her interested in you, but I also think she's afraid of what your friend will tell you about her after figured out you two are dating. I think I was in her shoes before. I went on a date with a guy, I got lose, showed him my true self, my insecurity then bam, later on dating a random guy happen to be his friend. It scared the hell out of me thinking about him talking to his friend how crazy or insecurity I am. Sucks. Don't let others put the idea into your head.
Author lilwing Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) Now I will add that when a woman has a “more than a casual interest” the conversations are a little different and the tone is difference not generic and a little more “mirroring” is going on and is responsive and most of all they are asking you questions. Larryville, all of that has been happening while we are texting. She has also sent me selfies, pics of her cat, a painting she did... etc. We talked a little bit about what we are looking for in a guy/girl. It is pretty obvious that she is interested in me, but recent delays in her texting and then rescheduling our date makes me question her level of interest. yeah I would think it's a good sign showing her interested in you, but I also think she's afraid of what your friend will tell you about her after figured out you two are dating. I think I was in her shoes before. I went on a date with a guy, I got lose, showed him my true self, my insecurity then bam, later on dating a random guy happen to be his friend. It scared the hell out of me thinking about him talking to his friend how crazy or insecurity I am. Sucks. Don't let others put the idea into your head. That makes sense. She does seem to be a little nervous now that I think about it. As I posted above, she was assaulted on a date recently. However, if she was that nervous, I'm not sure why she would overshare that kind of info. I'm pretty nonjudgmental in general, though. I'm not that close to the friend she dated, so it really wouldn't bother me whatever happened. Edited January 3, 2017 by lilwing
basil67 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I would suggest you don't waste time on someone who appears to be playing hard to get. Either they aren't particularly interested....or they are a game player. Either way, it's not good. Save your time for someone who's open, honest and easy to read.
spiderowl Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I don't think that a woman who was really keen on someone would suddenly cancel a date in order to go out with girlfriends. It doesn't sound like she had the girlfriend outing high on her list of priorities before, otherwise she would have arranged a different day with you. I think she's probably lukewarm about the date, sorry.
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