toxinoco55 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 My boyfriend broke up with me exactly one month ago saying how we were in different life places and all that. He gave me the old "let's still be friends! I still want you in my life!" speech. We had been friends for a year before we started dating and I always thought that those relationships are harder to get over, just because you also lost a friend as well as a relationship. Anyways I accepted that, dumbly, because I thought losing him completely would hurt even worse. So about two weeks go by and he texts me saying I can come over if I want to, how he's just hanging out with one of our mutual friends. So I accept, again this was not the brightest and I even knew it at the time, but I went anyway and all was going well until he says out loud "That's so awkward!"and our mutual friends says "what?" and my ex replies " I can't say...." then he goes on and says "I just saw my cousin on...you know" and I look over and he's on some dating site/app thing. This crushes me because it was only 2 weeks later and I know he's free to do whatever he wants cause he's single but in that moment I have never felt hurt and pain like that in my life. I left and ignored him, which I guess I should've been doing since day one, and a week or so later that mutual friend tells me "he knows you're ignoring him". It's been about two weeks since that moment and I don't think I can go more than 3 days without crying about it at least once. I no longer talk to my friends about it cause I feel like it's getting to that point where I'm just a drag to hang out with cause all I can talk about is my failed relationship, and it's been a month. We weren't even together all that long (less than a year) but it kind of intense and was a lot of firsts for me. I don't even know what I'm asking for at this point, just that I'm not crazy? Some healing after break up stories would be nice. I don't know I just feel so hopeless right now, like I'll never get over it while he's already looking for his next...Just makes me feel so damn replaceable, like the whole thing meant nothing even though I was so serious about it. Kind of feel like a fool. 2
IfonlyIknew Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 When is the last time you actually had contact? You're going to have to disappear on him and go NC immediately. Refocus on what are some things you'd like to accomplish this year. It does get better ((hugs)) 1
Author toxinoco55 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 Like less than a week ago because whenever he texts me I respond like an idiot, and I KNOW that I shouldn't because it will prolong the heartache.(ZERO willpower here) I haven't in about 2 days though, so there's that haha have to start somewhere.... (Also I feel a bit insulted about the whole dating app thing because why say "I can't say" then go on and insinuate something as if I'm too stupid to put 2 and 2 together?) He used to tell me he loved me and how we were serious, yet when ending things he tried to downplay the whole thing, which really sucked as well. 1
MeadowFlower Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) Ohh It's SO dumb aye.. I have been dumped recently okay it was 5+ months ago, but I still feel it. But it will get better, give it time. And don't do the whole friends thing if you want more. It's a hard one, and I have no experience in that. Because my ex boyfriend did the whole maybe we should just be friends thing, pfft yea right, he isn't my friend really, just a work acquaintance now who still likes the girl he liked before being in a relationship with me... He didn't actually be my friend even though he said that, whereas your one did. Anyway, maybe try the no contact thing and focus on yourself, your life, try not to think of him. Keep going Edited January 3, 2017 by MeadowFlower 1
Satu Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 You're not friends; you're a broken couple. Trying to be friends will bring you nothing but pain. Here's a poem: To part now and parting now, Never to meet again; To have done for ever; I and thou, With joy, and so with pain. It is too hard, too hard to meet If we trust love no more; Those other meetings were too sweet That went before. And I would have, now love is over, An end to all, an end: I cannot, having been your lover, Stoop to become your friend. —ARTHUR SYMONS, “After Love.” Take care. 1
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