greenlight345 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 So, there's a guy who I met when I sat next to him on a plane. He initiated conversation with me first. We ended up talking the entire plane ride. And talking with him just felt DIFFERENT than talking with any of the boring guys I have met up with via online dating. There were NO awkward silences, and the conversation just flowed really, really naturally. At the end of the plane ride, he asked for my number, told me he would love to take me out for a drink sometime, and that I was "really cute." So we exchanged numbers, hugged goodbye, and he told me I would definitely be hearing from him soon. Now it's been over a week since then and I haven't heard anything. I know he was busy with holiday stuff (so was I). But I'm a little disheartened that he hasn't even said anything since then. I guess I don't know what "soon" means but I figured if he were genuinely interested, he would have said something by now so that he could make sure he was still on my radar. Maybe he really just wasn't that interested in me..... but then why did he even bother asking for my number? I'm worried that if I do text him first, he'll think that seems weird and desperate. I feel like people are always saying that if a guy is really interested, he will be the one to contact the girl first. And if I do text him, I don't even know what to say, really. I could ask him out for a drink, but again, that seems desperate to me. I'm no good at this dating stuff, and I tend to overthink things, as you can probably tell. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.
travelbug1996 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 He may have lost his phone or anything. I would text and say hey there but I would not ask him out. I think it would be ok to text him first in this case.
Dolores88 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Why not? Life is short, give it a try, you have nothing to lose. 3
SunnyWeather Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 nothing ventured, nothing gained. there is nothing desperate in contacting him first. just send out a brief hello HNY, and see where it leads to...be sure to update
TheTraveler Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Now it's been over a week since then and I haven't heard anything. I know he was busy with holiday stuff (so was I). Nobody in the world is that BUSY to send a text You don't need to make a thread about this. Just send him a text and go from there
angel.eyes Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Text him: "What a fun chat on the plane! Wishing you all the best in the New Year!" Frankly, I don't put much stock in plane conversations. More often than not, they are married. He could be busy with his wife and family over the holidays. Who really knows what's going on with him? If he never responds, it was one random conversation. No biggie. On to the next!
Noideanow Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 He maybe\probably married\girlfriend, protect yourself in case he is and comes after you if he loves you he will do what it takes to be yours, but don't let him hurt you then walk:cool: Bitter experience talking, let him contact you:o
Lansing Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I have had the experience of meeting girls in situations like this and as a guy sometimes one just gets in their own head and thinks "maybe she was just being nice giving me her number... is she really interested", etc and maybe he is hesitant to try to contact you to ask you out. Maybe he feels like it has been too long now and it will be weird for him to contact you so much later. If I was the guy in your situation I wouldn't think it was weird if the girl contacted me. I would actually appreciate it as it would give me more confidence to pursue. I would just need that bit of a "push" to get me going and it wouldn't have to be a constant thing on the girls end. It is worth a shot!
losangelena Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Sending a simple text isn't "desperate." Jesus. If you were calling him everyday and telling him you want his children, now that's different. If you enjoyed talking to him and want to do it again, say so. It really is that simple. 1
Author greenlight345 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 Thank you all for the replies. I guess my problem is I am afraid of him not replying, and then I'll feel like an idiot. I don't really handle rejection well, which stems from my ex-boyfriend (who I was with for many, many years) dumping me in a pretty cruel way. But it seems at this point he is not likely to contact me himself, for whatever reason. And I really did think we had a strong connection while we were talking on the plane. I'm just so afraid of rejection either in the form of him not replying or just sort of brushing me off. I'd like to be able to think "oh well, whatever" if that happens, but I know in actuality I will end up stewing about it and wondering what I did wrong. I think I am going to text him tomorrow though if I don't hear from him today.
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 (edited) Good lord it won't kill ya to send a text like. "So when are we gonna have that drink you promised me?" sign, cute girl from plane Edited January 3, 2017 by smackie9 1
olivetree Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Personally, I wouldn't text him. If a guy said he is was going to text me, and soon, I would see if he is as good as his word. Letting a week go by doesn't seem that interested to me.
smackie9 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Thank you all for the replies. I guess my problem is I am afraid of him not replying, and then I'll feel like an idiot. I don't really handle rejection well, which stems from my ex-boyfriend (who I was with for many, many years) dumping me in a pretty cruel way. But it seems at this point he is not likely to contact me himself, for whatever reason. And I really did think we had a strong connection while we were talking on the plane. I'm just so afraid of rejection either in the form of him not replying or just sort of brushing me off. I'd like to be able to think "oh well, whatever" if that happens, but I know in actuality I will end up stewing about it and wondering what I did wrong. I think I am going to text him tomorrow though if I don't hear from him today. Being rejected is just part of life....everyone needs to just suck it up, and just do it.
Standard-Fare Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I agree with others that you should suck it up and give it a shot at contacting him, setting aside your fears of rejection. I'd text something benign like, "Hey plane guy, how was your New Year's?" and put the ball in his court for actually proposing something further. Sure, it will sting a little if he doesn't respond, but you'd get over it. Ultimately this guy is a relative stranger who you should allow no power to "hurt" you. You gotta have the attitude of "If he doesn't get back to me that's his loss." 1
losangelena Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I agree with others that you should suck it up and give it a shot at contacting him, setting aside your fears of rejection. I'd text something benign like, "Hey plane guy, how was your New Year's?" and put the ball in his court for actually proposing something further. Sure, it will sting a little if he doesn't respond, but you'd get over it. Ultimately this guy is a relative stranger who you should allow no power to "hurt" you. You gotta have the attitude of "If he doesn't get back to me that's his loss." Exactly. The only way to get over your fear of rejection is to get rejected a couple of times. OP, there's nothing stupid about wanting to get to know someone, especially not when they said they'd be in contact. No one likes it, but it's like anything else unpleasant. Expose yourself enough times and it becomes no big deal. I get rejected all the time, I'm still alive.
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