riki Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Before starting this thread I wanted to thank everyone for providing information on other threads that has helped me through this rough patch - I don't know if I could have made it without my friends and the LoveShack community. I hope everyone on here finds the right significant other for them. Background: Dumped by ex (think it was need to be single/GIGs-related but a man can never really know) and have been in NC for 7 weeks. I am still open to getting back together with her but am pretty hesitant - she has to really prove to me she is willing to commit. We are both in the same medical school class at Michigan. So I have been in no contact with my ex (only saying hi confidently at school/social events if we bump into each other - no conversations at all) and my healing process has been going fairly well. Obviously the NC is having its ups and downs but do feel like I have made some progress. I have accepted that I was starting to fall in love with this chick and have faced my emotions - I'm not denying them or using unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with them. I've been been writing music (Electronic music not sad/love songs) and been focusing on other things like taking care of my sick father over the Christmas break. I have unfollowed my ex from Facebook and removed her from snapchat/Instagram. After the breakup she would like some things on my Facebook but I largely ignored them for the most part (this is after saying we cannot be friends). The last day before winter break I saw her checking me out at school and we made eye contact - I didn't make a big deal of it and just politely said hello. That night there was a party and she couldn't even look at me in the eye and had to leave the room/began drinking heavily. I haven't seen her since but have still gotten a Facebook like or two since then. On Christmas day, however, she liked a picture of me and my sister on Instagram knowing that I do not follow her. I have been thinking about her a lot since then but have slowly started to cool off. What in the hell would possess my ex girlfriend to do this? I made pretty clear boundaries after our breakup and she keeps crossing them on Facebook. This Instagram like, however, is a big deal for me because I have unfollowed her and thought that I was sending a clear message to "please leave me alone to heal" by doing so. I've been told anything from, "she regrets breaking up and wants to see how she stands with me" to "she just wants attention". It's difficult because I still have feelings for this girl but I don't know how to interpret/act in this situation. I would like to maintain no contact and to be able to do it without burning bridges (We have mutual friends so less drama is best). Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
Nadine123 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 why are you still open to be with her after she left you?
Author riki Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 why are you still open to be with her after she left you? I meant in the long term - not immediately but maybe after 6+ months if I still have feelings for her. I explain it in my previous thread but basically she's never been single and I have been dating/gotten that phase out of my life. I don't feel restless when getting into a relationship because I've been with tons of women and feel like I've seen what I need to see. We weren't together very long either. Only way I see us getting back together is if she's gotten her "needs to be single" phase out of the way and she knows what she wants - something she doesn't know right now. I'm hurt but I get it - its life and she never got the space to experience the things I have. Yeah I wish she knew it earlier but I'm glad it didn't happen later down the road. I set those boundaries not just for me but for her too - she needs to know what life is like without me. I want a woman who knows she wants me and won't let go. I guess I hate burning bridges, thats just the kind of person I am.
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