F1S-123 Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Hi folks, just looking some for some insight into my story. So we were 14 (Me) and 15 (Her) when we first started going out, it was great, this girl was my best friend, we did everything together. We're actually very compatible, same interests, same humour etc we're just very relatable. We've been at eachother's side through everything, operations, death's etc. I'm sure you get the point, it was a very good relationship, not much fights apart from the odd few but they were sorted by bed time. We're both now 19. We have been close as ever, don't get me wrong, things aren't as exciting as they used to be, we still go out for dinner maybe twice a month, but we tend to get takeaway more and watch movies. She was getting really stressed from work, to the point that she took time of work on the sick and I noticed a huge change in her. Her outlook on everything changed, she was more pessimistic towards everything, she was also a lot snappier towards me. I just shrugged it off to stress and took a step back. Around a week later she was fine, telling me she loved me and couldn't wait to have a family etc. She's very happy, Around Halloween time she seemed to be really distant towards me. Wouldn't cuddle much, wasn't talking as much etc. (You know where this is going) 2 days later she phoned me "I can't do this anymore" I laughed because this came out of nowhere, I wasn't sad, I was just in complete shock, like the relationship wasn't exactly amazing, but it was nowhere near close to breakup point, all it needed was a bit of effort. Fast forward some time after I've done all the begging and pleading (big no no's! Don't do it!) she doesn't budge, her excuses are just so inconsistent. One day it is "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" the next it's "I just need to find myself" or "we're just at two different points in life" "I love you but I haven't got time for a relationship" (hilarious because this girl works a minimum wage job and her life is going nowhere at the minute). This is my first breakup so I'm just confused. Like really confused. This has all came out of nowhere, and she's just completely turned into this cold, selfish bitch. Now she doesn't really go out much, maybe twice a month, max? This girl is out nearly every night. Late hours partying. I honestly don't know what's wrong with her... She also is so big headed about herself. She was never like this. I honestly don't recognise her anymore. Well anyway, she goes away on a trip and when she comes back she texts me like nothing's happened, I get fed up because my mind is being completely messed about and tell her I will talk to her after the new year or something (this is early December btw) I just don't want to talk to her. She then phones me crying, telling me she doesn't want to lose me, and asking can we try again, I'm hesitant and say I'll just talk to you after the new year and she says to me no, please come and see her. So after some massive convincing from her I go to hers and it's amazing, we have sex within 10 minutes and she is absolutely amazing, it's the girl I've always knew again. I spent the weekend there and it was the best time we've had together in months One funny thing I might add, she said she went through a crazy party stage, and she hadn't exactly processed the breakup and as time went on she felt worse and worse about everything and it suddenly dawned on her that she can't lose me. I come home and Sunday she's the same as she always was, texting away, using happy emoji's etc. Monday morning....coldness. I call her out on it and she tells me she doesn't feel anything for me. I completely flip, this girl is just holding me back. I wanted to just move on but she asked for me back and this is how she treats me? One minute she loves me the next she doesn't. Blah blah. "It's not you its me" yeah yeah yeah whatever. I just can't be bothered, my head hurts. My heart too. Telling me she has a lot going on at the minute and her head is all over the place, doesn't know what she wants. I've deleted her off FB, blocked her on Twitter etc, I just can't be bothered with her. It really does hurt me because this girl has done a complete 180 and the thing that annoys me is that she really thinks she hasn't done anything wrong and that this is completely normal behaviour. I stop talking to her for a few days and she rings me (we owe her family member money that we borrowed and we pay it back every month) to pay it, she tries to make small talk, I blank her, she cries telling me that she is having a really bad time in life at the minute, she's under investigation at work because she has took so much time off and might be getting the sack. She doesn't have much money etc. I tell her to stop fu***** drinking and get her act together. She says she will try, tells me her drink got spiked on Boxing Day, she broke her phone etc, she's a fuc**** mess at the minute. I don't know what has happened to her. I ignore her for a few days then she texted me at new year at 10 telling me she is just in and is going to have a early night because her stomach was sore (from drinking hahaha) then tells me she is going to stop drinking. I say good for her, and wish her a happy new year. Next day... I see her friend put up that they are out drinking... My blood is boiling. I have decided that I'm going strict NC. Nothing will make me answer her. She has screwed me about something shocking and I can't take it anymore. I'm explaining this to my mate and he said "funny enough I was scrolling down my Twitter feed the other day and seen her tweet "my life is a mess but it's the absolute best at the minute" then another one "it's so fab being able to do whatever you want" I honestly don't know what to say. For starters, I never stopped her doing what she wanted, she had plenty of time away from me in which she could do whatever her heart desired when we were together. I don't know. Everything will soon hit her like a tonne of bricks, I don't even think I would take her back if she asked and if she did, she would have to crawl through broken glass to make it up to me for what's she's done. So yeah folks, that's my story. An absolute roller coaster ride. It's 2 months today since we broke up. I've just been at the gym 4 times a week keeping myself busy. But this is just a distraction I don't need. Any insight would be appreciated because I have absolutely no idea what's going on at the minute. I also apologise for any typo's, formatting, grammar etc, I wrote this on my phone.
calvin94 Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 I understand how you are feeling with this whole roller coaster ride, I was in a similar situation that you were in just over a year ago. My best advice to give you, and this is advice I wish I took at the time is to stop falling for the games that she is playing. Your best bet is to just go completely ghost and focus on you. This sounds so cliche but honestly in your situation it will help. Some suggestions are to just remove her from all social media (facebook, snapchat, instagram, etc..) all these will do will cause you to over think the situation when you see an update from her. Out of sight, out of mind. You're right not stop the begging as all that does is just make you look weaker and can potentially push them away. Best advice, just try to focus on yourself and try not get sucked into her games again. Once you starting doing some of these things and with time, it will get easier and you will realize you don't need this. Cheers 2
Author F1S-123 Posted January 2, 2017 Author Posted January 2, 2017 I understand how you are feeling with this whole roller coaster ride, I was in a similar situation that you were in just over a year ago. My best advice to give you, and this is advice I wish I took at the time is to stop falling for the games that she is playing. Your best bet is to just go completely ghost and focus on you. This sounds so cliche but honestly in your situation it will help. Some suggestions are to just remove her from all social media (facebook, snapchat, instagram, etc..) all these will do will cause you to over think the situation when you see an update from her. Out of sight, out of mind. You're right not stop the begging as all that does is just make you look weaker and can potentially push them away. Best advice, just try to focus on yourself and try not get sucked into her games again. Once you starting doing some of these things and with time, it will get easier and you will realize you don't need this. Cheers Yup, that's what I'm doing. It's turning into resentment and I'm really not trying to do that. She's made her bed and she can lie in it. Just really disappointed in her. Thanks for the reply!
basil67 Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 It's time to cut her off. Tell her you've had enough of the drama and will be going No Contact. Don't feel bad about it - after all, she did break up with you.
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