caputo77 Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 I dated this guy shortly and everything was great. We really connected and developed feelings on both sides quickly. However, I’m leaving the country soon for 6+ months so we decided to be friends. We discussed reconnecting romantically one day if we find ourselves in the same place but of course without any real commitment to that. Being friends sucked though because we were basically still dating minus the label and any physical aspect, which made me feel like an emotional cushion which I didn’t want to be. So after a conversation together, we mutually agreed not to contact each other further since it was making things difficult and emotions were proving to be too hard to control (mostly on my end). The no contact was mainly my decision, but he agreed to respect it since I thought it would be best for me. The no contact has been very hard especially since I know we both still care. Even though I know we can always reconnect when I get back to the US, 6 months is a long time and I’m afraid to lose him. After 30 days of no contact he texted me, wishing me a Merry Christmas, which threw me for a total loop. I responded, asking how he was and he never answered. I shook it off and made myself forget about it, then I got another text just after midnight on New Years, wishing me a happy new year and expressing good wishes for my time abroad. I responded again, just returning the happy new year and good wishes. No conversation followed. At first I was angry that he would text me and not respond, but I’ve started to think maybe it’s his way of reaching out and showing he still cares while still trying to respect my no contact wish to a certain degree – he knows if we started full scale talking again it would hurt me, but it also hurts me to not hear from him at all, so maybe it was meant to be a sort of compromise? I’m not really sure. When I left school for the holidays we weren’t on speaking terms and we didn’t even say goodbye, which was upsetting for me since I wasn’t supposed to have a chance to see him again before leaving the country. But now I’ve gotten some time off work and am going to be back on campus for a weekend before I leave to visit some friends. I would feel kind of weird being in the same place as him and not even telling him about it…especially before leaving for such a long time and not having ever said goodbye. He will definitely see that I was around on social media and I feel like it would be hurtful that I didn’t even tell him I would be there. So…should I let him know I’ll be in town but that I think it’s best we don’t see each other? Or should I suggest meeting up for lunch/coffee just to catch up and say bye before I go to leave things on good terms? In all honesty I would really like to see him, but don’t want to impose if he would rather not see me. I’m just very afraid of losing him and kind of want to confirm that we still both want to try and talk again when I get back.
stillafool Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 since you both mutually agreed not to see each other again and the fact that your feelings are still raw; I don't think trying to get involved with him is a good idea. You will get hurt. His saying Merry Christmas and the Happy New Year could have been a text that he was sending out to everyone. I got I don't know how many of those during the holidays so I wouldn't read anything romantic in them.
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