thrway Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Had a girlfriend of 5 years, have a 2 year old child together and things have been on/off for a long time now. Admittedly I made a few mistakes here and there, nothing bad, on a scale of 1-100 I'd rate them at a low 1. Just normal things. Her on the other hand....she's a pretty ****ty person and someone that I can't see anyone apart from myself wanting to be with. I don't want to write a thread about how ****y of a person she is because that makes me just as bad.....but she's take take take and no give, no care for how I feel, if she wants something she wants it now, if she wants me to do something I have to do it right now, if that didn't happen exactly how she said then it would hit the fan and I'd be the one receiving a verbal beating and I'd also be apologising for her shouting at me etc etc. My main problem was that I was very soft with her and let her get anything she wanted etc. The last month or so I haven't been putting much effort into me and her because I told her it's time she started putting some in (she didn't) Anyway she ended it about a week ago (I'm 25 she's 23 if that matters) and I was over a friends a couple days ago and I seen her on my friends tinder as he was swiping through, I'm pretty hurt about that considering she was telling me she liked me, flirting with me all over me etc like 2 days before....how does that even make sense? How can you do that say all that then go on tinder right after? (we also don't live together for anyone interested) I understand I shouldn't want to be with her and I don't because I know she's no good for me but I still want her somehow....is this a case of me wanting something I can't have? I would say I'm ready to go on tinder myself and start meeting other girls etc but I'm just not ready yet, but I feel stupid that she's doing the same thing? (she probably isn't meeting anyone as she's now single mum busy with our child etc but she's on it so I feel stupid) My other problem is I know she gets very hostile and angry at anything so I'm scared that when I try to move on eventually she's going to try and turn things on it's head, she will make things difficult with seeing my child and stuff like that, she won't let me take our child out on my own and that sort of thing and say in 6 months time I got a girlfriend I feel like she'd be pissed at that and just try ****in **** up for me. You think she will cool down eventually and when time goes by things will get easier and she'll become more relaxed about things or am I in for a world of hurt for many a years? I want to get back out there and start seeing other people etc but I don't feel like I'm ready, but I just feel like a loser that in the next few months she's gonna be in bed with someone else etc and I'm gonna be in my own bed all depressed thinking about her when someone else is balls deep in her. TLDR ; seen ex of 5 years who I have a child with on tinder few days after we break up.(I don't use it myself). Want her back but she's a bad person who doesn't deserve anyone, in fear of her turning child into a weapon if I was to get into relationships in the future etc.
Author thrway Posted January 2, 2017 Author Posted January 2, 2017 No-one to give me any words on this?
PegNosePete Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 My main problem was that I was very soft with her and let her get anything she wanted etc. Indeed. In fact you sum up your "main problem" pretty well in your first paragraph. Nobody else would put up with her behaviour, yet you did. Why is that? Do you have so little self respect that you will put up with behaviour that would put off any other man? And what in the name of all that is holy made you think having a child with this woman was a good idea??? Look, you're broken up now. It's none of your business whether she's on Tinder or not. She can do as she pleases (and so can you). I would say I'm ready to go on tinder myself and start meeting other girls etc but I'm just not ready yet, but I feel stupid that she's doing the same thing? Yeah, you're nowhere near ready to be meeting others. How does her behaviour make YOU feel stupid? I think what you mean to say is that you think SHE is stupid for going on Tinder so soon? But like I said, it's really none of your business what she does or doesn't do. she will make things difficult with seeing my child and stuff like that Nobody can see the future. You just have to cross that bridge when/if you come to it. But generally people's behaviour doesn't change unless they have a good reason to change it. Her current behaviour is working for her. So it's unlikely she will change.
Sweetfish Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Had a girlfriend of 5 years, have a 2 year old child together and things have been on/off for a long time now. Admittedly I made a few mistakes here and there, nothing bad, on a scale of 1-100 I'd rate them at a low 1. Just normal things. Her on the other hand....she's a pretty ****ty person and someone that I can't see anyone apart from myself wanting to be with. I don't want to write a thread about how ****y of a person she is because that makes me just as bad.....but she's take take take and no give, no care for how I feel, if she wants something she wants it now, if she wants me to do something I have to do it right now, if that didn't happen exactly how she said then it would hit the fan and I'd be the one receiving a verbal beating and I'd also be apologising for her shouting at me etc etc. My main problem was that I was very soft with her and let her get anything she wanted etc. The last month or so I haven't been putting much effort into me and her because I told her it's time she started putting some in (she didn't) Anyway she ended it about a week ago (I'm 25 she's 23 if that matters) and I was over a friends a couple days ago and I seen her on my friends tinder as he was swiping through, I'm pretty hurt about that considering she was telling me she liked me, flirting with me all over me etc like 2 days before....how does that even make sense? How can you do that say all that then go on tinder right after? (we also don't live together for anyone interested) I understand I shouldn't want to be with her and I don't because I know she's no good for me but I still want her somehow....is this a case of me wanting something I can't have? I would say I'm ready to go on tinder myself and start meeting other girls etc but I'm just not ready yet, but I feel stupid that she's doing the same thing? (she probably isn't meeting anyone as she's now single mum busy with our child etc but she's on it so I feel stupid) My other problem is I know she gets very hostile and angry at anything so I'm scared that when I try to move on eventually she's going to try and turn things on it's head, she will make things difficult with seeing my child and stuff like that, she won't let me take our child out on my own and that sort of thing and say in 6 months time I got a girlfriend I feel like she'd be pissed at that and just try ****in **** up for me. You think she will cool down eventually and when time goes by things will get easier and she'll become more relaxed about things or am I in for a world of hurt for many a years? I want to get back out there and start seeing other people etc but I don't feel like I'm ready, but I just feel like a loser that in the next few months she's gonna be in bed with someone else etc and I'm gonna be in my own bed all depressed thinking about her when someone else is balls deep in her. TLDR ; seen ex of 5 years who I have a child with on tinder few days after we break up.(I don't use it myself). Want her back but she's a bad person who doesn't deserve anyone, in fear of her turning child into a weapon if I was to get into relationships in the future etc.\ Lmao.. You are not ready to date. Not for at least 6 months and thats still too early. Best bet is to worry about your child and reflect on how passive you have been to resolve issues. Why she acted this way was just a typical test to invoke drama.. because a lot of women need push and pull type chemistry between their man to see if he can put up with her childish behavior. Some women cannot be alone and if her idea of healing is jumping to another man in her life in 2 weeks and not worry about her child. Thats out of your control.
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