JackA16 Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Hello. So 2 months ago I was dumped by someone who I thought was my world, and the last 2 months have been really crap, my ex has put me through hell and it's really been a dark and difficult time in my life. There has been this guy called josh - who I had never met but seen online and followed on Instagram, and he was dumped and cheated on recently too, and although we have never met in the last 4 years it has always felt as if there was something there, as in we would always like pictures on Instagram and contact eachother now and again even though we had no reason to. We came into contact a few weeks ago and shared our experiences and we spoke about meeting, and New Years EVE was among us and he bought a ticket to my favourite club as I was going there, and he told me I was the first person he text, over his friends to tell me this... and we finally met! We spent the whole night together, danced, laughed, talked and even kissed!! It doesn't seem like a big deal but there is something about this guy which sparks my flame.. he is really lovely and he speaks to highly of me. When my friends spoke to him that night, he told them how he had 'always had an eye on me'. So I woke up on the 1st January, and for the first time in a while I felt good, I was waiting for josh to text me to see whether or not he was still interested or whether he was just meassively wasted, I received the text and we were texting all day. Towards the end of the day his replies got longer even though he was on his phone, so I was worried that maybe we are talking too much and perhaps I should 'treat him mean keep him keen' however at the same time - our mutual friend just thinks that he is probably thinking the exact same thing, and doesn't want to get hurt either. Obviously, I'm petrified of what might happen, I am petrified of being hurt - I just don't want to get attatched to someone all over again.. the idea is so scary and I just can't help buf think of the heartbreak which comes alongside losing someone, however WHAT IF he feels the same and is wondering if I will hurt him? I have invited him to my birthday event in 12 days time, and he has accepted aswell as his best friend who I met on New Year's Eve so they will be coming to my house before to meet my friends and then we will all head towards my favourite club - is this a good sign do you think? Although I'm seeing him then, I am really keen to see him one on one, keep it casual but just see if we get on as well as we did wasted as we do sober, so I am thinking of inviting him out casually to see if there is anything, even the smallest spark there as I feel this might be the right thing for the pair of us, as although we were both in relationships, neither of us can deny we have always had something there. I don't want to rush it, and more than anything I want to keep him interested in me - I don't want to rush things and scare him though, but I would be lying if i said I wasn't really hoping and praying this worked and something came of this, we get on incredibly well and it would honestly make me so happy if we started to see eachother. How do I play it cool and make him WANT me even more than what he does? How do I become irresistible to text? I just want him to be the one thinking what I am thinking right now!! Thanks guys :-)
Kempeitai Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 (edited) Guys are pretty simple beasts. He is either interested in you or he isnt. He already knows this. Nothing you can do can improve this. You can make him lose interest though by coming off as not interested ie decline dates etc. If you don't want to get hurt you need to wait 2 months of consistent dating (1-2+ dates a week) before sleeping with him. If all he wants is a notch under his bed post he will give up and lose interest before 2 months elapse. Other than that, be nice, show you care and make an effort to see him regularly. Edited January 2, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T 1
Author JackA16 Posted January 2, 2017 Author Posted January 2, 2017 Guys are pretty simple beasts. He is either interested in you or he isnt. He already knows this. Nothing you can do can improve this. You can make him lose interest though by coming off as not interested ie decline dates etc. If you don't want to get hurt you need to wait 2 months of consistent dating (1-2+ dates a week) before sleeping with him. If all he wants is a notch under his bed post he will give up and lose interest before 2 months elapse. Other than that, be nice, show you care and make an effort to see him regularly. Heya, I asked him on a date today and he accepted. I think he likes me more than just for my physical appearance. I hope so anyway! I'm really not the kind of guy to jump straight in bed with someone. I have confidence issues and therefore my ex waited a whole 2 months before we went the whole way, need to trust the person so much before I go that far. I shall see how Friday goes then - thank you :-)
preraph Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 You're both fresh out of relationships and I've found that usually recently broken up guys just want to play the field and run from anyone too serious. That said, if you are ready for serious, then no reason to make him think the opposite. However, if you just want to take your time and have fun and see where it goes, which is the best plan, just don't let yourself get carried away or start falling until you've been on real dates long enough to start getting to really know him and understand his intentions and just knowing what he's like. Good luck.
basil67 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 You can't make him do or feel anything. Simply be yourself and hope that he thinks you're great as you are. It sounds like you're going well so far. As for getting hurt, all relationships come with risk of hurt. If you can't cope with the risk, then perhaps you're not resilient enough to date. If this is the case, you need to work on building your ability to bounce back. 1
thecrucible Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Heya, I asked him on a date today and he accepted. I think he likes me more than just for my physical appearance. I hope so anyway! I'm really not the kind of guy to jump straight in bed with someone. I have confidence issues and therefore my ex waited a whole 2 months before we went the whole way, need to trust the person so much before I go that far. I shall see how Friday goes then - thank you :-) I find loveshack can be really helpful and definitely this thread updated with what happens on Friday. I know how you feel about worrying about things going wrong or getting hurt and I think that's totally natural. I wouldn't try too hard to act cool. This has backfired for me in the past. The fact is that if he does really like you, he'll want to see that same level of interest from you and you don't want to give the wrong impression by being too cool. I see it as reciprocation. When I like a guy and I think he likes me, I try and reciprocate his interest in me and just act naturally. I try not to do things where I feel like I'm manipulating our relationship in a certain direction or expecting a particular reaction from him. This is my yardstick to judge how much interest is appropriate. You can use your instincts and figure out what's right . It's not a crime to like someone or do things that show that so try not to worry too much about getting hurt.
Author JackA16 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 I find loveshack can be really helpful and definitely this thread updated with what happens on Friday. I know how you feel about worrying about things going wrong or getting hurt and I think that's totally natural. I wouldn't try too hard to act cool. This has backfired for me in the past. The fact is that if he does really like you, he'll want to see that same level of interest from you and you don't want to give the wrong impression by being too cool. I see it as reciprocation. When I like a guy and I think he likes me, I try and reciprocate his interest in me and just act naturally. I try not to do things where I feel like I'm manipulating our relationship in a certain direction or expecting a particular reaction from him. This is my yardstick to judge how much interest is appropriate. You can use your instincts and figure out what's right . It's not a crime to like someone or do things that show that so try not to worry too much about getting hurt. I will keep you posted about what happens on our date. Me and him have always had something there and things are going well, I just worry I overthink things too much without intending too! On Friday I will subtly try and find out his intentions and what he wants, he doesn't seem to be the kinda guy to wanna sleep around and stuff - it's not just me that feels this way. His best friend I have been told is VERY protective over him and won't stand by and watch him get hurt, when I met them both she was giving me non stop good vibes and is also going to be celebrating my birthday with me - so I feel as if she had given me the green light in a way. I'm just worried about getting hurt because I have been badly hurt. I should probably remind myself that he isn't the one who hurt me and he might be the complete opposite to what my ex was. They seem very different. I know I do really like him, and I can see us having a really great time together - feel like we have been waiting ages for this moment and now we finally have it. I just hope I don't get carried away with my emotions as I do find myself becoming attatched easily. He is giving me positive vibes, maybe I should just go with the flow. I won't know unless I try!!
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