Matilda255 Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Hi! I stumbled across this forum whilst searching on google, & since I have no real friends to talk too, I was wondering if someone could give me some impartial advice. Firstly, I'm late 30's, divorced with 2 children. I started a relationship with my best friend around 18 months ago and it ended in August after i moved around a 3/4 hour drive away for a new job & for my kids to be closer to their Dad. He decided because of that (& a maybe issue of him messaging/sexting another woman, he denies it, she says they did. I don't know.) We message on and off, spoken on the phone a few times etc, but he's adamant he can't do the distance. Anyway, Long story short. He messaged me on Friday night to ask how I was, I didn't reply because I was out with work colleagues & it only said "how you doing?" Saturday morning I get "How come you've told (2 mutual friends) you're back in town soon & not me?" So I replied with "because I'm not sure it's not a good idea to hear from or to see you" "The world is full of bad ideas! If I'm not working, it'd be good to see you" We then exchanged a day of messages. He asked what I was up too on NYE, I said not much. He said neither was he. He then commented that I looked hot on my what's app pic and seeing it had made his new years. I ended up meeting up with my ex sister in law in a bar & didn't get in until the early hours, so stopped messaging him around 10pm. He sent a message just after midnight wishing me a happy New Years. Yesterday afternoon i get a message saying 'good night last night?' I put 'happy New Years! Yeah, great. Didn't get in until 4.30am though! Tired ' He put 'dirty stop out! Thought you were drunk when you stopped messaging at 10!' So I replied with something like 'lol! Was having a great night, & good job I stopped messaging, not sure you want drunk texts!' He put 'I'd never not want to hear from you' I thought screw it, I'm not playing games. Ended up replying with 'look I'm in town on the 13th, I don't know if want to catch up, but it'd be nice to see you' it took him an hour and I got 'I'm sure we'll catch up at some point' So I put 'don't worry. Too much has happened.' My reply? None. I've deleted what's app knowing he won't attempt to contact me in any other way. Should I just cut him off from now on? He says he still cares, flirts, compliments, then that?
umirano Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Classic. He just gave your leash a tug to see if you're still around. You fell for it, now his ego is boosted for a few weeks or so. Go No Contact. No messaging, no relatives or friends relaying info or messages, no social media stalking, no nada. 1
Author Matilda255 Posted January 2, 2017 Author Posted January 2, 2017 He messages frequently though, it's not a new thing. I hear from him 4-5 times a week?
umirano Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Ok, I read that you're messaging on and off. Well, a person that wants to get back together uses a variation of these: I love you, I want to be with you for the rest of my life Let's put this nonsense behind us, we belong together Let's end this break. I've come to realize that I need you in my life. You're the best thing that's happened to me, I can't be without you and I want to be in a relationship with you again. I'm glad we've overcome our problems, I think we should get back together now. I realized I made a mistake breaking up with you. I now see that I completely misunderstood you. Want to try again? Did he ever use them? If not it's probably because he doesn't really want to.
keiji Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Does a 45 minute-drive equal long-distance relationship? Is it really an insurmountable barrier? It sounds a bit weird
Author Matilda255 Posted January 2, 2017 Author Posted January 2, 2017 Does a 45 minute-drive equal long-distance relationship? Is it really an insurmountable barrier? It sounds a bit weird We're 4-5 hours apart. Sorry if I didn't make that clear
Formerfiveo Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Classic. He just gave your leash a tug to see if you're still around. You fell for it, now his ego is boosted for a few weeks or so. Go No Contact. No messaging, no relatives or friends relaying info or messages, no social media stalking, no nada. Exactly. It doesn't matter if he messages 4-5x/week or 4-5x/year. He's just checking to see if you're still there. Cut all contact. Block him so you don't get any more texts. If he wants to be with you, he will drive 4-5 hours and be at your doorstep.
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