Sooner or Later Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 It HER loss, she's throwing away an opportunity to date a mature, talented good looking guy, she's really missing out. It's her right and her perogotive, she can do what she wants obviously, hope she regrets her decision. It's this kind of arrogant and rather immature attitude that might turn a woman off as well. 2
Dis Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 It's this kind of arrogant and rather immature attitude that might turn a woman off as well. I think he needs a bit of an ego boost at this point so let's cut him some slack 2
winny Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 I think he needs a bit of an ego boost at this point so let's cut him some slack :lmao: 1
Author Grey40 Posted January 7, 2017 Author Posted January 7, 2017 It's this kind of arrogant and rather immature attitude that might turn a woman off as well. I don't actually feel that arrogant, and that statement/comment wasn't really meant to be taken 100% literally. What I'm saying is that it helps me as a coping mechanism to move on. It's more of a mindset, not something I'd want to portray or live by. Get what I'm saying? It's like an internal thing--like disullusioned said--I'm the prize. 1
winny Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 Its so funny he keeps calling her mature and himself mature but both of them have not displayed any behavior that is remotely mature....
Author Grey40 Posted January 7, 2017 Author Posted January 7, 2017 That's better Grey You said this girl was mature despite her saying she likes to be 'chased' by guys and that she loses interest quickly....hmmm? Like winny said, mature women dont play games and dont have attention spans of goldfish. Dont you deserve a woman that will show consistency, as in not ghosting you after 2 dates? A woman that acts like a grown up and doesnt need to be chased in order for you to get her attention? A woman regularly texts you, stays in contact with you, wants to plan dates with you? Dont you deserve to kiss a woman without feeling her pull back and say, 'What are you doing?'? A woman who doesnt leave you hanging, driving yourself crazy, second guessing every...little..detail???? I think you do....which is why there is no need to grieve over this one who was truly a lost cause from the get go I get it though, you were super attracted to her...that probably clouded your judgement and thats what is keeping you up at night now. But there are also equally attractive women out there who wont flake on you. Dont let looks/attraction steer your judgement. This is amazingly well said. Thanks. You're right, this girl wasn't mature at all. I was just so attracted I really made excuses for her. At the start she just seemed very different from other people I've met, but in retrospect she really wasn't anything special other than her looks. I was idiot to get this hung up on her. And I suppose it's also true that dating someone shouldn't be difficult..you shouldn't have to be worrying "did i text her enough?" "did I text her too much?" etc. If it's working right it would flow naturally correct? Yeah, there's no need to "force" this kind of thing if it isn't working. 1
Author Grey40 Posted January 7, 2017 Author Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) Its so funny he keeps calling her mature and himself mature but both of them have not displayed any behavior that is remotely mature.... I thought I acted very maturely about the situation in general up until I tooted my own horn on that last comment. I did vent like a whining baby in this thread but that's what this place is great for, to get opinions, support and feedback from people who have been where I am. The amount I learned not only about myself but also about dating just from this thread alone has been paramount. And winny, you've been a great help with your comments throughout the thread, i appreciate you sticking with the thread and helping me out even when I continued to reshash the same stuff over and over. Edited January 7, 2017 by Grey40 1
Gaeta Posted January 7, 2017 Posted January 7, 2017 Grey keep an open mind. I know each time we like someone and it fails we feel we will never experience such attraction again, of course it's false. There is something better waiting for you. You remind me of my daughter's best friend. He is the same age as you. He would always chase super attractive woman and much younger and he wondered why they flaked him. We kept telling him to date more mature women, at least women his age and like you he insisted he was not so attracted to them. Then one day out of the blue he met a woman 17 years older than him and he felt head over heels ! They have been together 4 years now. **I am not telling you to date much older lol,** but I am telling you to stop putting up mental barriers against women your age. They are attractive, you just have not found one you are crazy about yet.
Author Grey40 Posted January 7, 2017 Author Posted January 7, 2017 Grey keep an open mind. I know each time we like someone and it fails we feel we will never experience such attraction again, of course it's false. There is something better waiting for you. You remind me of my daughter's best friend. He is the same age as you. He would always chase super attractive woman and much younger and he wondered why they flaked him. We kept telling him to date more mature women, at least women his age and like you he insisted he was not so attracted to them. Then one day out of the blue he met a woman 17 years older than him and he felt head over heels ! They have been together 4 years now. **I am not telling you to date much older lol,** but I am telling you to stop putting up mental barriers against women your age. They are attractive, you just have not found one you are crazy about yet. Yeah, I have no Barriers up at all. I will date any woman 18-35 as long as I feel it and we get along well. So I'm not only focusing on younger women, this particular one just happened to be young. I went dates with two women who were 30 and 31 respectively and just wasn't all that attracted. My gf of 5 years was 4 years younger than me, she's currently 23. So im used to dating someone younger which might be another reason why I wasn't drawn to this girl, she's roughly the same age.
Author Grey40 Posted January 8, 2017 Author Posted January 8, 2017 I got the urge to text her I think I'm going to reach out tomorrow. A girls told me she hates when guys wait days between contact and that it doesn't make them "want" them more, it makes them lose interest
GemmaUK Posted January 8, 2017 Posted January 8, 2017 I got the urge to text her I think I'm going to reach out tomorrow. A girls told me she hates when guys wait days between contact and that it doesn't make them "want" them more, it makes them lose interest She doesn't have any interest so texting or not texting won't make any difference. She doesn't want to date you, respect that and accept it. You need to drop it and move on OP. 2
Author Grey40 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Posted January 10, 2017 Well sorry for bringing this thread back up, but I need to have closure on this girl. I hated just wondering what the damn deal is, so I decided to find out. She did a wonderful job of giving me the polite brush off, but now I can officially move oN. Me : hey there, how was your weekend? Her: blah blah it was good, now I'm back to hell, 11 hour Monday great start to the week ::eye roll:: how was yours? Me: blah blah...Explained my weekend briefly...sorry you have to work those crazy hours, hope you're at least getting better at it! Her: really long paragraph about how she should quit and it's driving her nuts blah blah but thanks for asking. Me: well I'm not sure if you're still interested in hanging out again or not, but let me know when your free from your crazy work schedule and we can set something up. Her: okay I will let you know, I just don't want to leave you hanging, but it's difficult for me to make plans now that I'm back in the swing of things. And then the days where I do have free time I'm just dead to the world, so I have difficulty finding a balance. But if I find that I will be availabe I will reach out. me: I appreciate you not leaving me hanging or just going silent or something. It's nice to get a response back. I understand you're busy I'm not one of those guys that's gonna bug the crap out of you cause I know that must be annoying. But I had a really great time hanging with you, and it'd be nice to see where it goes, so def feel free to reach out. Have a good week. So, she made it sound like she's leaving the option open, but of course I don't buy it. It was a nice way of letting me down, great job on her part, but I'm glad I asked because now I don't have to worry about whether to stay in touch with her or not, it's truly up to her now if she ever feels the need, and believe me I'm not expecting her to ever reach out. I feel I had to get to the bottom of this and at least get more of a clear perspective.
winny Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 (edited) Block her. And your last text made u sound like if she didnt respond u would have died coz she left u hanging... Get strong my friend. You will need it. Edited January 10, 2017 by winny 1
Author Grey40 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Posted January 10, 2017 Block her. And your last text made u sound like if she didnt respond u would have died coz she left u hanging... Get strong my friend. You will need it. Why would I block her?
winny Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 Btw, since u already had a closure I guess this was closure on the closure? Is this final or you are planning to get a closure on the closure on the closure... 2
winny Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 Why would I block her? Because you have no boundaries. If she texts you 3 weeks later u will get all happy n then after her ego boost she will leave u hanging again you will come here and create one more thread. 1
Author Grey40 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Posted January 10, 2017 Btw, since u already had a closure I guess this was closure on the closure? Is this final or you are planning to get a closure on the closure on the closure... I didn't really have closure before, I asked her out and she said she was busy that weekend. So I gave her benefit of the doubt and decided to basically tell her to let me know when she's free. But you're right, i shouldn't have had to do that. And lot of girls just go full ghost and wouldn't have even responded to any of my messages at all. So I'm letting her know I appreciate that she gave me an answer. Don't see anything wrong with that. If more guys did that they probably wouldn't just go silent all the time so much.
Author Grey40 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Posted January 10, 2017 (edited) Because you have no boundaries. If she texts you 3 weeks later u will get all happy n then after her ego boost she will leave u hanging again you will come here and create one more thread. Well no I'm definitley done now with reaching out to her, I will never text her again unless she texts me first. And hopefully I'll be with another girl by the time she does if it is in fact 3 weeks later. But to be honest, I fully expect her never to reach out again. I know she won't. My last text to her came off probably a little desperate sounding but whatever. According to you It was over anyways so it made no difference Edited January 10, 2017 by Grey40
joseb Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 Well no I'm definitley done now with reaching out to her, I will never text her again unless she texts me first. And hopefully I'll be with another girl by the time she does if it is in fact 3 weeks later. But to be honest, I fully expect her never to reach out again. I know she won't. My last text to her came off probably a little desperate sounding but whatever. According to you It was over anyways so it made no difference I think you are missing the point. The reason to not text was for you. Not to try to keep this thing alive. And what's the rush about getting with another girl asap. I think you are trying too hard and it's showing in your interactions. 1
GemmaUK Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 I think you are missing the point. The reason to not text was for you. Not to try to keep this thing alive. And what's the rush about getting with another girl asap. I think you are trying too hard and it's showing in your interactions. Not only this but she just re-iterated what she had already told you OP. If that's closure for you then great! I would advise to block and delete. She won't be contacting you and it'll stop you from contacting her again. 2
Gaeta Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 She said nothing new. It was just you that needed to hear it again and again I guess. The suggestion to block her is to help you move on, it's a way for you to 'take charge' of the situation and to say 'too little for me' I will move on to someone better. By not blocking her you are leaving a door open in your head and your heart and it will keep you from moving on. You need to take this girl down from the pedestal you put her on. She is just a girl like any other girls. There will be other women with rocking bodies.
oldshirt Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 Take her off your contacts lists so you aren't tempted to keep fishing and keep casting out lines to her. But no need to block, she hasn't committed any fouls here. Then move on and be going out with other girls. However FWIW, but in my younger days I did have women pop back up years down the road and I did hook up with them the second time around. I'm not saying that so that you sit by the phone waiting for her. I am saying that because sometimes people do cycle back around. If you cross paths with her down the road and you are more experienced, more confident, more successful and in better shape and better dressed and better styled physically, the 2nd time around may be more fruitful. If some time down the road some dude dumps her or cheats on her and she is feeling lonely and needs an ego stroke and she calls you up for a booty call, it will be up to you if you want to be sloppy seconds and her back -up or not.
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