Author Grey40 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 She asked me first about how long I've been single, and told her the truth that i was in a 5 year relationship and that I've been single for 7 months..so that could have raised red flags for her. Maybe she thinks she's a rebound or girlfriends could be telling her I'm just using her to fill a void etc etc.
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 I would think she'd at least want to keep me on the back burner. I must have really scared her off, maybe I acted way too keen and enthralled too soon. The only men that scared me off in life were those I wasn't too much into them to start with. Those I liked I had no problem jumping right off the edge for them. 1
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 She asked me first about how long I've been single, and told her the truth that i was in a 5 year relationship and that I've been single for 7 months..so that could have raised red flags for her. Maybe she thinks she's a rebound or girlfriends could be telling her I'm just using her to fill a void etc etc. No, 22 year old don't think that way. They like you or they don't. They mostly live in the moment and do what feels good. At that age they don't analyze the way you do at your age and older. Personally I think you should aim at women 25 and older. The brain isn't fully developed until 25. That is why we are very impulsive under 25. 3
LargoLagg Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 If I was interested in a guy, I would be wanting to hear from him. I might not reply immediately but I would not wait 6 hours.I don't know, she might have been doing something and didn't want to get in to all the back and forth.
Author Grey40 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 The only men that scared me off in life were those I wasn't too much into them to start with. Those I liked I had no problem jumping right off the edge for them. Yeah that's a good point. I mean basically if she really liked me, things wouldn't be so difficult, they'd be easy. And they were the first two dates. I'm not a idiot she was 100% interested I can't believe how quickly she shut down. I don't think it was the date either, I didn't really do anything that weird. I know young girls are very easily influenced by friends and family so it's probably something they told her or she did more digging about me and didn't like it or some other guy fit her mold better. She did think I was kind of short so I'm sure that didn't help. I was still taller than her
Lady2163 Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 You've sent plenty of chit chat texts. If you're not ready to give up, then you're next text is a third date suggestion. Don't hang out here with us, go look up date options for a couple or three different dates and times. I had family responsibilities over the holidays. I missed a few texts and emails from people I'm close to. It does happen.
strawberryshortstack Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Yeah that's a good point. I mean basically if she really liked me, things wouldn't be so difficult, they'd be easy. And they were the first two dates. I'm not a idiot she was 100% interested I can't believe how quickly she shut down. I don't think it was the date either, I didn't really do anything that weird. I know young girls are very easily influenced by friends and family so it's probably something they told her or she did more digging about me and didn't like it or some other guy fit her mold better. She did think I was kind of short so I'm sure that didn't help. I was still taller than her She may simply have met someone else who excited her more. I wouldn't take it personally.
Author Grey40 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 How do you guys feel about me giving her a call to ask her out instead of texting? Maybe wait until like tomorrow night and then see if she's free on the weekend? I've read that some girls stop replying to texts not always to show disinterest but sometimes to give you a hint that you should be calling them instead or something dumb. I doubt it cause she's 22, most girls in that age group probably prefer texting and might be freaked out by a call. I know most people on this forum are in their 30s and above, so it's probably not the best group to ask, but I'm still curious.
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 How do you guys feel about me giving her a call to ask her out instead of texting? Maybe wait until like tomorrow night and then see if she's free on the weekend? I've read that some girls stop replying to texts not always to show disinterest but sometimes to give you a hint that you should be calling them instead or something dumb. I doubt it cause she's 22, most girls in that age group probably prefer texting and might be freaked out by a call. I know most people on this forum are in their 30s and above, so it's probably not the best group to ask, but I'm still curious. Bad idea. How many text you sent her now that she has not replied to? Grey, she has all of those texts. She has seen them, she is choosing to not answer them. If you contact her again you will come across as needy and a huge turn off. Let it go. It's out of your hands now. Just let life decide. If she doesn't get back to you it's because something better is waiting for you. 4
angel.eyes Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Assuming you've never spoken by phone, if you're going to contact her again, text her. If you call a 22-year old who is avoiding you, it will just go to voice mail. Then you'll want to text her to be sure she got your message when she doesn't respond...meaning a fourth text that will also be ignored. FWIW, in dating, strike when the iron is hot. Ask for your third date immediately after the second date rather than sending random generic texts about her day and "pretending to be unavailable" by not texting her back when she responds. Then after she loses interest you, scramble to try and ask for a date. Just so pointless and unattractive! For me at least, it's a total turnoff when a guy tries to engage like this, and I immediately move on to prioritize the guy who is excited to date me. You lost her interest. Probably time to move on. Learn from the experience and try again with someone else.
Author Grey40 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 Yeah I'm not going to call. I've only sent 2 text messages that haven't been answered. One on Sunday afternoon, and one today (Tuesday morning). So there was an entire full day without a response before I doubled it. I don't see the harm in that, because it's possible she could have missed that first text or forgot about it or something like that. But yeah, ignoring second text should cue me to move on, but I can't. It doesn't feel right to me. Angel eyes, as far as striking when the iron is hot, the conversation after the 2nd date went something like this: Her: Id love to hang out again sometime eventually, but I'm not sure when now that I'm going back to work this week. I kind of just nodded to that like it wasn't a big deal. Yeah I could have tried to say, "well how about we hangout on this day, but with her working a 9 to 5 and living about an hour away, the only time I could have mentioned was the following weekend to which she most likely would have said sure! And I'd be in the same scenario trying to solidify details
Gaeta Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 You have done nothing wrong. Nothing you have done caused her to lose interest. When a woman likes a guy she waits impatiently for his text, you see it on here. She did not lose your textx. Is she active on the dating site? Stop this non sense you can't let her go. You had 2 dates. She is a stranger still.
angel.eyes Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Angel eyes, as far as striking when the iron is hot, the conversation after the 2nd date went something like this: Her: Id love to hang out again sometime eventually, but I'm not sure when now that I'm going back to work this week. I kind of just nodded to that like it wasn't a big deal. Yeah I could have tried to say, "well how about we hangout on this day, but with her working a 9 to 5 and living about an hour away, the only time I could have mentioned was the following weekend to which she most likely would have said sure! And I'd be in the same scenario trying to solidify details Yes. If she works weekdays, I would have suggested the following weekend, especially since she initiated the conversation about planning a third date. Agree tentatively on a time during the conversation and get back to her in a couple of days with details about the activity and where. Just be a little bit more confident and take charge moving forward. Don't play games.
angel.eyes Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 When a woman likes a guy she waits impatiently for his text, you see it on here. She did not lose your textx. Perhaps some women do. But they're often the ones complaining that they're expending all their effort on a guy who is barely invested. Some of us won't sit around hanging over our phones for some stranger's possible text!:lmao: There are better ways to spend my time. If I sense some guy is playing games or ambivalent, it's immediately on to the next. Why would I waste my time on someone who is unsure of himself or what he wants when it's smooth sailing and thus a far better fit with another guy. If I wanted a new date tonight, I could get one. If I was looking for someone compatible for a relationship, I would probably find that guy and have gone on a couple of dates in the next 2-3 weeks. So why on earth would I waste my time with Mr. Ambivalence who is playing mind games??? Yes, those ambivalent guys still call and act all blindsided and surprised that I'm no longer interested and lecture me about what a fantastic date it was. Sure it was!. But what about the last few days of radiosilence or erratic texting...and no scheduled, planned date from them on my calendar? *shrugs* That's their best foot forward??? Why would I stick around to check out their behavior when they settle into complacency and it gets even worse? They're welcome to take their games and uncertainty elsewhere. I'm already on to the next. 1
winny Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Just let it go... Its very clear that she is choosing not to answer deliberately. Dont make excuses for her. Dont waste time thinking about someone who doesnt like you. 3
winny Posted January 3, 2017 Posted January 3, 2017 Yeah I'm not going to call. I've only sent 2 text messages that haven't been answered. One on Sunday afternoon, and one today (Tuesday morning). So there was an entire full day without a response before I doubled it. I don't see the harm in that, because it's possible she could have missed that first text or forgot about it or something like that. But yeah, ignoring second text should cue me to move on, but I can't. It doesn't feel right. Although I hope it doesnt happen to you but in future you may get ghosted after a month or more of dating and sex... So learn now how to move on fast. Its never easy but this is an opportunity for u to grow.
Author Grey40 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Posted January 3, 2017 Update guys, wow she finally texted me back. "Hey sorry crazy day, and not getting home anytime soon (( how was your day?" Me: "damn they keep you long hours over there! Sorry to hear that. My days been productive teaching guitar as usual. Would love to hang out again when you're free this weekend. I have Friday and Saturday afternoon/night available was thinking we could grab some dinner and then go ice skating or do something active. Good luck surviving the week." Interesting
dumbass2 Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 I'm assuming you replied as soon as her text hit your phone? 4
Saracena Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 FWIW, in dating, strike when the iron is hot. Ask for your third date immediately after the second date rather than sending random generic texts . Exactly. I was on the point of asking how you left things after the second date OP.
Saracena Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 FWIW, in dating, strike when the iron is hot. Ask for your third date immediately after the second date rather than sending random generic texts . Exactly. I was on the point of asking how you left things after the second date OP. ETA Just read your update. Glad to hear she responded.
Author Grey40 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Posted January 4, 2017 (edited) Exactly. I was on the point of asking how you left things after the second date OP. ETA Just read your update. Glad to hear she responded. Thanks. It wasn't an exciting or really telling response, but at least it's some contact, it appears she may just actually be busy. I decided to just go for it and ask her out instead of just dilly dallying with small talk or jokes since it seems like responses may be far and few between this week. Doesn't explain why she didn't answer to me on Sunday or Monday but I'll take any kind of response at this point. . It just feels good to now know the ball is in her court officially. I did what I had to do (ask her out again), she got the message and hopefully she'll respond at some point before the weekend and we'll set it up. If not, I'm more at peace knowing I did all I could Edited January 4, 2017 by Grey40
Author Grey40 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Posted January 4, 2017 (edited) Well she replied to my date request and it's not good. She says, "Yeah I work like a dog lol. That's really sweet of you, I really appreciate it but it looks like this weekend is gonna be busy for me :/" Garbage. At least I have closure now. So I'm satisfied. Should o even bother responding to that or just delete her? Thinking of replying back with "or you could just come over my house drink and watch a movie" Edited January 4, 2017 by Grey40
angel.eyes Posted January 4, 2017 Posted January 4, 2017 (edited) Sure. She had warned you that she would be very busy this week. Leave it up to her. I would respond along the lines: Yeah it's always tough catching up at work after a long holiday break. Since your schedule is up in the air, hit me up when you know you'll have some free time and we can schedule the next date. Now you can move on. If she contacts you, great. If she doesn't, you've moved on anyway. ETA: Thinking of replying back with "or you could just come over my house drink and watch a movie" Just no! I can't believe you would even suggest this when you can't even get a date with her! Edited January 4, 2017 by angel.eyes 3
Author Grey40 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Posted January 4, 2017 Sure. She had warned you that she would be very busy this week. Leave it up to her. I would respond along the lines: Yeah it's always tough catching up at work after a long holiday break. Since your schedule is up in the air, hit me up when you know you'll have some free time and we can schedule the next date. Now you can move on. If she contacts you, great. If she doesn't, you've moved on anyway. ETA: Just no! I can't believe you would even suggest this when you can't even get a date with her! Haha it's me thinking maybe she wants a casual fun hook up buddy and I'm coming off like a nice guy that want to date. I wouldn't mind just having a fwb situation at all
Author Grey40 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Posted January 4, 2017 Sure. She had warned you that she would be very busy this week. Leave it up to her. I would respond along the lines: ! You're giving her the benefit of the doubt. She works Monday-Friday..you're telling me she's too busy Friday, Saturday AND Sunday to see me again? Hell no. She offered no alternative time to meet, nor did she sound excited or enthused to see me again, I wanted to have hope but that pretty much killed it. She did what al other uninterested girls do "I'm too busy". Yeah too busy for me, not for someone else. I really messed this up it sucks. I know I acted way too "nice guy" I should haven been more confident, dominant and not so "nice and romantic" on the second date. 1
Recommended Posts