mortensorchid Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Happy New Year to one and all! I'm already in a bit of a situation ... Weeks ago I connected with someone on Facebook. For more information see this thread ... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/607168-update-wary Saw him on XMas Day, then last night on NYE for a small party at a friend's house. He's enthusiastic to be with me, this is obvious. But I am not rushing into it, and perhaps as it should have been, my monthly visitor came so I said there would be no sex until it's over and done with. He said okay, even though he said he didn't "mind" if that was the case. But I guess that's another thread I should put up in another part of the forum ... Next weekend I have a holiday party at my theater company. I mentioned it to him, he said he would want to go with me. I am ... Not sure if I want to bring him. I mean, you go to a party with someone and this is the official public announcement "I am with this person", to be sure. I'm still not ... 100% sure if I want to do that. He would be okay with being around people he didn't know, he'd find others to talk to, etc. I don't know what is causing this within me. Any thoughts on it?
umirano Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 That monthly visitor thing had me confused. But then I figured most FWB relationships probably don't follow a strict schedule. Either way, you're probably not comfortable with bringing him to a work function because you're not yet sure this is as serious as it would look if you brought him, and because you don't want your work colleagues to get confused about your relationship status. Fair. I have two questions though: Do you think they really care who your date is? Is it their business at all?I assume you mentioned the work function in passing, not because you actually pondered bringing your FB acquaintance along, correct?
Author mortensorchid Posted January 2, 2017 Author Posted January 2, 2017 That monthly visitor thing had me confused. But then I figured most FWB relationships probably don't follow a strict schedule. Either way, you're probably not comfortable with bringing him to a work function because you're not yet sure this is as serious as it would look if you brought him, and because you don't want your work colleagues to get confused about your relationship status. Fair. I have two questions though: Do you think they really care who your date is? Is it their business at all?I assume you mentioned the work function in passing, not because you actually pondered bringing your FB acquaintance along, correct? It's not work, it's my theater company which I am a member of that I dedicate a lot of time and energy to. It's kind of a big deal because it is a major thing I am involved in. So no it's not work. And FYI I would not bring a date to a work party, I think it's best not to do things like that. So much that I wouldn't even attend a work party because coworkers are not friends and don't ever think for a moment that coworkers are friends because they are not, but that's another thread ... I don't want to dive in too quickly but if I bring him to this thing it will certainly look that way. I'm not sure how I feel about him still. But I mentioned my monthly visitor to him because I wanted him to know that I would not be inviting him over to stay the night on NYE for sex because of it. Putting it off for a bit.
joseb Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 (edited) sounds like you are not overly keen on him tbh... Edited January 2, 2017 by joseb
umirano Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 It's not work, it's my theater company which I am a member of that I dedicate a lot of time and energy to. It's kind of a big deal because it is a major thing I am involved in. So no it's not work. And FYI I would not bring a date to a work party, I think it's best not to do things like that. So much that I wouldn't even attend a work party because coworkers are not friends and don't ever think for a moment that coworkers are friends because they are not, but that's another thread ... Yeah, I totally get where you're coming from. Work, serious hobby, same thing. You have a more "serious" relationship with these people than with your acquaintance and I'd probably be as careful as you. I don't want to dive in too quickly but if I bring him to this thing it will certainly look that way. I'm not sure how I feel about him still. But I mentioned my monthly visitor to him because I wanted him to know that I would not be inviting him over to stay the night on NYE for sex because of it. Putting it off for a bit. When you're not sure it's best to get to know him better on neutral ground until you do.
thecrucible Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 You could always go to the theatre company party and introduce him by his name rather than say "this is my boyfriend" but then I suppose the worry is what questions you might get from other people. I know how you feel to be honest because social circles can be quite small and you want things to be more established before you introduce him if you don't know whether it will work out and have to explain it to everyone who asks afterwards. You might have expected that he'd be interested in going if you mentioned it but at the same time, he could have waited to see if you'd suggest that he goes. Hm I'm not sure what you should say now the cat's out of the bag. And it'd be difficult to know what to say without it coming across like you're trying to hide him from people you know. But maybe if you guys go along to this party it'll be okay and not as awkward as you're imagining now?
LargoLagg Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Happy New Year to one and all! I'm already in a bit of a situation ... Weeks ago I connected with someone on Facebook. For more information see this thread ... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/607168-update-wary Saw him on XMas Day, then last night on NYE for a small party at a friend's house. He's enthusiastic to be with me, this is obvious. But I am not rushing into it, and perhaps as it should have been, my monthly visitor came so I said there would be no sex until it's over and done with. He said okay, even though he said he didn't "mind" if that was the case. But I guess that's another thread I should put up in another part of the forum ... Next weekend I have a holiday party at my theater company. I mentioned it to him, he said he would want to go with me. I am ... Not sure if I want to bring him. I mean, you go to a party with someone and this is the official public announcement "I am with this person", to be sure. I'm still not ... 100% sure if I want to do that. He would be okay with being around people he didn't know, he'd find others to talk to, etc. I don't know what is causing this within me. Any thoughts on it?Well, if you're ashamed to be on a date with him, then you should cut him loose in a way that he'll never come back. Otherwise, you're really overblowing the importance of this party. Or is it a theater thing to make everything all dramatic?
Author mortensorchid Posted January 2, 2017 Author Posted January 2, 2017 Well, he clearly is wanting sex. Of this, I am sure. I don't know if he wants an actual relationship with me other than that. And ... If not, I'm okay with that. I am not sure if I want to introduce him to that circle and make things public with him or not if it's not going to be anything else but. Would be counter productive to do so. Keep moving forward ...
Author mortensorchid Posted January 2, 2017 Author Posted January 2, 2017 But until I am sure of things, I will not bring him to the party this weekend. I will keep it on the down low until then.
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