Auto emotions Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 (edited) Background-BF broke up after 10+ years relationship, in late Oct, said he was tired, he loves me but not in that way, he wants to be friends. I found out afterwards he has a co-worker that he calls friend, she is over his house until early morning hours. He also has told me she doesn't know about me. He would visit me then go over to her after she got out of work-(they work together). I was working on no contact rule, however last week I thought I was texting a girl friend and it was him-total surprise when he replied "Good morning, thought you were ignoring me". Did not know what to do. I replied "sorry that wasn't for you". His reply. "Thought so." Then I broke it again on new years eve, wished him "happy new year respectfully" he said "same to you". I would appreciate suggestions on how not to become a friend zone person. I'd like to work back into a new relationship since I've have been working on my attitude of need. Edited January 1, 2017 by Auto emotions direct questions asked, since this was my first post it was not proper.
Brittybritt92 Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 Hi there! I'm really sorry that happened to you-- regardless of what happens in a relationship, if he wasn't attracted anymore (as it does happen sometimes to all of us) it did NOT give him a pass to go cheat-- **** him! I know it's really reeeeallly hard to not text him, but honestly... block or delete his phone number. Your mind will play games on you and there can always be a reason to contact someone "oh I need to return his favorite sweatshirt" etc. etc. But ultimately, he really screwed up.. and life is too short to make yourself a choice for him. You are not a choice or option, you're a human being and deserve a relationship where they treat you like you are the ONLY option. (Because you are!! When my ex cheated on me, he blocked me from everything, and I honestly felt like I was going through withdrawal for a good two weeks. I didn't eat, felt sick all the time, just cried and cried, felt like I was dying of a broken heart. But I didn't, I survived. And you will too. I promise <3 So with all of that out of the way, I suggest two things for you. First, block and/or delete his number. Be really honest with yourself. If blocking him isn't enough... delete his number and forget it. If you have stuff of his, put it all in a box or bag for donation. If he left it there and broke up with you, he must not care about it much. And that extra pair of undies of his in the house makes it harder for you to move on. SECONDLY, you need to go have fun. This is an AWESOME opportunity for you. It doesn't seem like it now, but it is! I remember after my heartbreak my father looked at me and gave me some money to go get my hair done. I went BLONDE and everything changed for me. (I'm not saying you should go blonde, but I mean...hey?) Do something different and fun for yourself! Go be with friends, have a fun night out, or two, or three. Pick up a fabulous hobby for yourself like painting or yoga, get your energy back~ Who knows... you may meet someone fantastic just enjoying your life. Take care of yourself <3
foxgener Posted January 10, 2017 Posted January 10, 2017 Background-BF broke up after 10+ years relationship, in late Oct, said he was tired, he loves me but not in that way, he wants to be friends. I found out afterwards he has a co-worker that he calls friend, she is over his house until early morning hours. He also has told me she doesn't know about me. He would visit me then go over to her after she got out of work-(they work together). I was working on no contact rule, however last week I thought I was texting a girl friend and it was him-total surprise when he replied "Good morning, thought you were ignoring me". Did not know what to do. I replied "sorry that wasn't for you". His reply. "Thought so." Then I broke it again on new years eve, wished him "happy new year respectfully" he said "same to you". I would appreciate suggestions on how not to become a friend zone person. I'd like to work back into a new relationship since I've have been working on my attitude of need. Don't try to be a friendzone person. He cheated on you and then dumped you. Have some self respect and cut him out of your life completely.
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