addictedtolovee Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 I don't know why. if I like a girl and go on a date, like I feel like I come on too strong. I know for a fact I use to text too much. I have limited that though, I only text if I actually have something to talk about. The thing is I just feel like I need to hurry the process, that someone else will come along and ask her out before I do. I'm afraid I'll miss my chance Instead of playing it cool I hurry it and come off strong and push them away. Like if I say "hey free saturday for dinner" and she says "sorry, i have a concert that night im going to" I instantly go into panic mode and then I'm like "ok so how about sunday, or is there another day that week?" Like I have to plan it right away I don't know. It's like I'm trying to make them like me I guess The fact si I'm getting older now and starting to realize why I am always single ANy tips? Also, I should I add. I don't feel like I come off as clingy/needy. I'm not saying stuff like "I really like you" or "lets make this a relationship"
Kempeitai Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Stop rushing. Ask one time. She says no wait a few days and send this "Hey, would like to get some coffee or lunch with you. Are you free anytime this week?" If she says she has zero free time all week/weekend it means she is not interested. Move on to the next girl. 1
Gaeta Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Like if I say "hey free saturday for dinner" and she says "sorry, i have a concert that night im going to" I instantly go into panic mode and then I'm like "ok so how about sunday, or is there another day that week?" This is exactly what you should be doing. If the woman is not free than you offer another night. If she does not offer a free night than she is simply not interested in you. Maybe your problem is not you pursuing too strongly but you are pursuing the wrong women. If a woman is interested in you she will hurry to give you her free nights. 3
Gloria25 Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Using the example you provided, doesn't sound like you were being pushy. I mean, ok, you don't have her calendar in front of you - so how in the world would you know she already had plans? All you did was suggest a counter-offer and she also blew it off. Nah, I say if you see someone doing what she did - just move on to the next person. Sometimes dating is a numbers game. You gotta keep trying until you meet the one. Now what I would've changed is not asking someone out until you're sure there's a spark. But like you, I don't waste time. We're all adults. I mean "You wanna go out?", "What are you looking for?" I mean, you don't wanna make dating seem like an interrogation or job interview, but at the same time, I don't have time for coy games. And recently, I really found out that you have to be SPECIFIC and DETAILED when getting a person to say what's on their mind, cuz they'll sit there and stay silent, then go around telling people they couldn't stand you and/or are accusing you of trying to rape them or something. Well wishes...
LoveFiend Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 I have a habit of being this way too. Best way to avoid this is to have your mind on multiple girls and date multiple girls until she wants a serious relationship and wants exclusivity. That way you can spread your attention and need for attention across many women not just one. The best advice I think is from a famous song by 38 special called "Hold on Loosely". The song actually gives great dating advice that works. You want hold on loosely in relationships and not come across as needy and desperate, that will turn almost any woman off.
Author addictedtolovee Posted January 1, 2017 Author Posted January 1, 2017 Like I said, I have improved alot, I just fall back into my old ways at times. I just dont wanna waste time I guess
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