pastispast Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Hi guys, I have seen a lot of excellent advice on this forum and decided to try my luck! I have been dating my gorgeous neighbor for 4 weeks. She's clearly attracted to me and wants to be in a relationship with me but she's a drama queen. A few days ago we were texting and she started complaining about me not being available enough for her and we talked about it. However, I asked her a simple question along the way and she completely ignored it and told me the conversation is over good night. I told her to answer and she just said good night. Now I usually don't react to her but this time I did because I'm starting to get tired of her childish behaviors. I told her if she doesn't give me the same respect I give her, we better go each in our own ways. She didn't answer the text and went NC for 2-3 days and now she texted me like if nothing had happened saying "happy new year baby". What should I do about the situation? P.S Sorry for my English, I am mostly french.
kgcolonel Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 This looks like a bit of a power struggle... if you enjoy the rest of the relationship, you simply don't play the game and ignore her when she plays games. Maybe she'll come around and maybe she wont' and it'll become a breaking point for you eventually....hang in there and if it becomes an issue for you, just speak to her... 1
bachdude Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Personally, I think threatening a break up in the middle of trying to resolve something, even if your SO is being unreasonable, isn't a good idea. Before I give any more advice I have to ask, what was this simple question you asked her?? 4
Author pastispast Posted January 1, 2017 Author Posted January 1, 2017 I asked her what's a reasonable frequency of seeing a guy for her.
fooloflove Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Speak up to her.. tell her u like her but u dont like her attitude.. but if shes being cool of not replying for days, u should try to chill and be the same 1
Author pastispast Posted January 1, 2017 Author Posted January 1, 2017 I ignored her Happy new year text.. Should I wait until she contact me back or should I wait a bit and make a move?
TheTraveler Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 I ignored her Happy new year text.. Should I wait until she contact me back or should I wait a bit and make a move? Since she's your neighbor why don't you go over and talk to her? You did nothing wrong standing up for yourself. I will say if her childish behavior bothers you and doesn't change, think about moving on 3
Author pastispast Posted January 1, 2017 Author Posted January 1, 2017 Since she's your neighbor why don't you go over and talk to her? You did nothing wrong standing up for yourself. I will say if her childish behavior bothers you and doesn't change, think about moving on She's been a drama queen and I don't want to make an easy comeback. That's the whole point. I want her to think 10 times before doing something like that again otherwise she knows there will be consequences. If I come back easily she won't hesitate to do it again. She talked to me with a real lack of respect and I don't tolerate that. It'll be her last chance even if I won't tell her.
Raena Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 It seems to me that there was probably more to that conversation than what you've explained. Something you said upset her and then you demanded she answer your question or else you would dump her. A lot can get lost or misinterpreted in a text message. It's probably best that you just talk to her face to face about this. 1
GemmaUK Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 There's more to this than you have chosen to mention me thinks.
LoveFiend Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Hi guys, I have seen a lot of excellent advice on this forum and decided to try my luck! I have been dating my gorgeous neighbor for 4 weeks. She's clearly attracted to me and wants to be in a relationship with me but she's a drama queen. A few days ago we were texting and she started complaining about me not being available enough for her and we talked about it. However, I asked her a simple question along the way and she completely ignored it and told me the conversation is over good night. I told her to answer and she just said good night. Now I usually don't react to her but this time I did because I'm starting to get tired of her childish behaviors. I told her if she doesn't give me the same respect I give her, we better go each in our own ways. She didn't answer the text and went NC for 2-3 days and now she texted me like if nothing had happened saying "happy new year baby". What should I do about the situation? P.S Sorry for my English, I am mostly french. I have been in relationships before where I thought the girl was disrespecting me. The big mistake I made is to play into it, apologize for things you didn't do wrong, and not to make a stand and confront the issue. She will just end up losing more respect for you and things will get worse and not better. The biggest mistake is to come across as a pushover to women. I really think some women like to test a guy to see how much a pushover the guy will be by disrespecting him on purpose and then pretending they are not doing anything wrong. At least in my experience the women who have done this to me actually prefer a guy who stands up to them and doesn't tolerate their behavior and they lose all respect for a guy who will let the woman walk all over him. Ask her about previous long term relationships she has had and see how previous men she decided to have long term relationships with treated her. My hunch is in previous relationships the men took the lead, stood up to her, controlled her, and were very dominant to her. I know this sounds bad, but some women really prefer a very domineering guy. In my experience from dating the women who act the way you described who have been very disrespecting these women want a guy who is very domineering to them, weather they admit it or not. They want a guy to stand up to them and take charge and be very domineering over them. They say the men in their life treated them badly and they want a nice guy, but they don't. I think it is a subconscious thing they don't even realize it, past behavior dictates future behavior. My ex-wife was at first very disrespecting to me until I started, to a lesser degree, mimicking the behavior of her father and previous husbands. She had no respect for me at first because I was too nice of a guy to her. Then when I started playing the actor and being her father things quickly changed. Being more domineering, standing up to her, taking control, etc ... her behavior changed. All of sudden the disrespect stopped and she became this very passive girl who wanted me to be in charge of everything. She told me later in the marriage she was raised that a man is to take charge of the woman and the woman is to obey the man. That marriage lasted about 5 years and I am sure if I didn't change my too nice easy going ways around her the relationship would of ended in less than a month.
Mrin Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 I want her to think 10 times before doing something like that again otherwise she knows there will be consequences. Ideal sentiment for creating a loving relationship based on trust and safety... not. 1
kendahke Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Hi guys, I have seen a lot of excellent advice on this forum and decided to try my luck! I have been dating my gorgeous neighbor for 4 weeks. She's clearly attracted to me and wants to be in a relationship with me but she's a drama queen. A few days ago we were texting and she started complaining about me not being available enough for her and we talked about it. However, I asked her a simple question along the way and she completely ignored it and told me the conversation is over good night. I told her to answer and she just said good night. Now I usually don't react to her but this time I did because I'm starting to get tired of her childish behaviors. I told her if she doesn't give me the same respect I give her, we better go each in our own ways. She didn't answer the text and went NC for 2-3 days and now she texted me like if nothing had happened saying "happy new year baby". What should I do about the situation? P.S Sorry for my English, I am mostly french. Your English is excellent--wished my French was as good.... I think you should maintain the course that you set off on 3 days ago and leave her alone. You're seeing at the start of this a very mild version of what will become the industrial strength version of what you've seen at the start. Do you want to continually go through episodes of her disrespect for the next however many years/decades? Then drop her, call this off and next time, try not to isht so close to where you sleep. Keeping her at bay is going to be sticky for the foreseeable future because she is your next door neighbor and she's immature. C'est une bette noire.
dollfacexo Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 WOW!!!! SHOCKED!! I would for sure drop her, she seems like an arrogant juvenile spoiled brat, and just down right RUDE. You deserve better. if she CLEARLY has a temper tantrum when she doesn't get her own way especially over something so minimal imagine what else she would blow up over, she has zero respect for you and clearly only cares about herself. There's a name for that SOCIOPATH!!! RUN!!!! FAR FAR AWAY
ExpatInItaly Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Meh, you're both playing games and engaging in drama. I can't see this working well unless you both improve your communication skills. Only 4 weeks and problems already? Welcome to the pattern of your future relationship.
OnlyHonesty Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 As usual, you are asking the wrong questions. You are asking us how best to go about playing the game with her. Do you really want to start the new year in an unhealthy relationship? As Ive said before, men put up with far too much crap from their gf and they put up with this out of fear of being alone, and a fear of asserting themselves in case they get dumped. This is what I did in a similar situation. I set a boundary, told her what I would, and would not put up with and what I saw as unacceptable. Since this boundary was set after an event, it was more a future consideration. A few months later she did the same thing again and I said goodbye. 1
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