spiderowl Posted January 1, 2017 Posted January 1, 2017 Perhaps it is worth checking with him whether he means sexually exclusive, i.e. not having sex with others while having sex with each other, or exclusive as in a more committed relationship. There is a difference: the first is really quite non-committal but allays any concerns he may have about sharing your body with another guy; the second is more about wanting to develop a relationship now and in the future.
phineas Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 I online date exclusively (for now). I don't get that kind of response from the ladies. I see you date the ladies in their 40s. How old are you? i'm 45. Perhaps it is worth checking with him whether he means sexually exclusive, i.e. not having sex with others while having sex with each other, or exclusive as in a more committed relationship. There is a difference: the first is really quite non-committal but allays any concerns he may have about sharing your body with another guy; the second is more about wanting to develop a relationship now and in the future. i think if he wants BF.GF title after 3 dates it's a bit much but yeah she should find out what he means by exclusive.
thecrucible Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 It depends on what that status means to him. I mean a lot of people as a rule only want to have sex when in a relationship so sex changes the dynamic for them. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are head over heels yet, it could just mean they are ready to give things a go. I find this is true even for guys who want the bf/gf label. I dated a guy in the past who pushed exclusivity and the bf/gf label but our relationship didn't work out in the end due to his lack of interest. You have to get a sense of what this means to him and what his other relationships were like. Sex could be his way of establishing a relationship and for him securing a relationship as many guys assume sex will make the woman attached and seek a relationship with him. This could be something he's always done with other women he dated - the first time sex is to secure attachment from the woman, not something that happens so spontaneously as it seems. And that's understandable, that for many sex is a level above and holds significance for them.
LargoLagg Posted January 2, 2017 Posted January 2, 2017 Exclusivity after three dates with anybody, even your soulmate, is way too quick. You can get to know each other better without all the strings. Your gut instinct is correct. When you say no, my guess is that he'll tell you he's all or nothing on this point. Be prepared to cut him loose.
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