ZayKayWill Posted December 30, 2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Is there anyone out there who is currently in a relationship with someone, yet still thinks about the 'one that got away'? A bit random, but I've noticed that there are people out there who are currently in relationships but yet they still think about the 'one that got away'. That doesn't sound very healthy or fair to the person that they're currently with...I mean right? Idk I guess I was just wondering if there was anyone out there that was currently in this situation and I guess was just wondering why you felt that way. It just doesn't seem fair to the other person if their mind is still on the 'one that got away'. It's like what makes that person so much better than the person you're currently with? Why do you still long for that person if you already are in a relationship with someone that you claim to love? Why feel regret when you're already with someone who you can continue to build a relationship with? If they're meeting your relationship needs there should be no reason why anyone would think about 'the one that got away', right?
smackie9 Posted December 31, 2016 Posted December 31, 2016 I got over it.............if they got away, it was their loss not mine 2
kendahke Posted December 31, 2016 Posted December 31, 2016 Is there anyone out there who is currently in a relationship with someone, yet still thinks about the 'one that got away'? A bit random, but I've noticed that there are people out there who are currently in relationships but yet they still think about the 'one that got away'. That doesn't sound very healthy or fair to the person that they're currently with...I mean right? Idk I guess I was just wondering if there was anyone out there that was currently in this situation and I guess was just wondering why you felt that way. It just doesn't seem fair to the other person if their mind is still on the 'one that got away'. It's like what makes that person so much better than the person you're currently with? Why do you still long for that person if you already are in a relationship with someone that you claim to love? Why feel regret when you're already with someone who you can continue to build a relationship with? If they're meeting your relationship needs there should be no reason why anyone would think about 'the one that got away', right? One would think... To answer your question: no. If they're gone, they need to stay gone. I don't believe in giving ex's that wide a berth. Situations such as you've described above is what is in play when one of the couple claims they're "confused". Anytime anyone says that to you it means they're trying to start something with someone else while at the same time, holding you at bay just in case that thing doesn't work out.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 31, 2016 Posted December 31, 2016 'The one that got away' mentally comes from those who have come to grips to the fact that he/she was the one who screwed things up! So, such a sentiment is not part of my life. As others have said, not a healthy thing to wonder about. Just move forward and hopefully have learned from your mistakes. 2
JennaDT Posted January 11, 2017 Posted January 11, 2017 I also think about an ex-boyfriend of mine from time to time, but it's more because of the circumstances. I've lived abroad for a while when I was younger and had a wonderful romance with a guy who was from the area. We broke up because I had to move back to my country and we both felt like a long distance relationship wouldn't work. So our last weekend together was very intense and saying goodbye at the airport was incredibly emotional (lots of tears). Ever since, I've always wondered how things would have panned out if I had stayed or if we had tried long distance. But the rational person in me is also quite sure we would have ended up hurting each other if we had tried long distance. Now we are still in touch and it's pretty great to still be in each other's lives as friends :-). However, I don't think he was THE one for me and that other relationships are just second best :-).
silah2931 Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 Is there anyone out there who is currently in a relationship with someone, yet still thinks about the 'one that got away'? A bit random, but I've noticed that there are people out there who are currently in relationships but yet they still think about the 'one that got away'. That doesn't sound very healthy or fair to the person that they're currently with...I mean right? Idk I guess I was just wondering if there was anyone out there that was currently in this situation and I guess was just wondering why you felt that way. It just doesn't seem fair to the other person if their mind is still on the 'one that got away'. It's like what makes that person so much better than the person you're currently with? Why do you still long for that person if you already are in a relationship with someone that you claim to love? Why feel regret when you're already with someone who you can continue to build a relationship with? If they're meeting your relationship needs there should be no reason why anyone would think about 'the one that got away', right? from personal experience and coming from someone that had been in a 3 year + relationship, the fire or "honeymoon" stage eventually fades.... no matter how much you guys try to work at it. And from time to time, your partner or you will both start to to think of "what if" scenarios. That's completely natural. Usually, these thoughts will come and go, the important thing to note is please do not act on your thoughts. Theres a difference between thinking and actually doing the deed. Honestly,at least for me, I started to notice is that the love for one another will turn from passion to compassion, ( its more of a need for one another)... realize that its natural to start to wonder, to want to flirt with other people, its just human biology. And also there's a reason that someone is in your past... I have once rekindled with someone that I had very strong feelings for, and I always wondered "What if..." In the end, I was disappointed because, I made him out to be someone almost "perfect".When things didn't end up working, or I found myself realizing he wasn't what I thought he was, I was heartbroken. 2
GunslingerRoland Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 My wife and I broke up at one point while dating and got back together. I've always felt like if we hadn't of gotten back together I would have always felt like she was the one that got away.
Leigh 87 Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 Oh it's really common:sick: What is really means is that they once had someone who they considered the love of their life, and who they had major chemistry magic and sparks with. Strong chemistry makes you feel more emotions more intensely. Coupled with admiration and respect, and good compatibility, and you have a great love of a lifetime that is the romantic ideal. Sadly, most of us never end up with the love of your lives. Instead, most of us have to pick compatibility first, and chemistry second since the people who make our hearts skip a beat and feel the most passionate about are rarely the people who are good for us long term. One survey found that SEVENTY percent of participants were not with the love of their lives. I have my one, for real, and am choosing a life of flings with hot chemistry over settling for a guy who I feel less passionate about than I did my ex. In summary, true love is so rare. The intense emotions plus long term compatibility is rare, so most people pick one or the other, either comfort or passion. Many experts will attest to this truth. Therefore, most people will look back at the partner who they fell the hardest for. 1
bachdude Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 The problem with the "one that got away" mentality is these past loves become more and more sainted with the passing of time to the point that the memory of them becomes further and further from the truth of who they are. I'm speaking from experience.
Author ZayKayWill Posted January 24, 2017 Author Posted January 24, 2017 Oh it's really common:sick: What is really means is that they once had someone who they considered the love of their life, and who they had major chemistry magic and sparks with. Strong chemistry makes you feel more emotions more intensely. Coupled with admiration and respect, and good compatibility, and you have a great love of a lifetime that is the romantic ideal. Sadly, most of us never end up with the love of your lives. Instead, most of us have to pick compatibility first, and chemistry second since the people who make our hearts skip a beat and feel the most passionate about are rarely the people who are good for us long term. One survey found that SEVENTY percent of participants were not with the love of their lives. I have my one, for real, and am choosing a life of flings with hot chemistry over settling for a guy who I feel less passionate about than I did my ex. In summary, true love is so rare. The intense emotions plus long term compatibility is rare, so most people pick one or the other, either comfort or passion. Many experts will attest to this truth. Therefore, most people will look back at the partner who they fell the hardest for. Man....I'm not sure how I feel about that....
Author ZayKayWill Posted January 24, 2017 Author Posted January 24, 2017 I also think about an ex-boyfriend of mine from time to time, but it's more because of the circumstances. I've lived abroad for a while when I was younger and had a wonderful romance with a guy who was from the area. We broke up because I had to move back to my country and we both felt like a long distance relationship wouldn't work. So our last weekend together was very intense and saying goodbye at the airport was incredibly emotional (lots of tears). Ever since, I've always wondered how things would have panned out if I had stayed or if we had tried long distance. But the rational person in me is also quite sure we would have ended up hurting each other if we had tried long distance. Now we are still in touch and it's pretty great to still be in each other's lives as friends :-). However, I don't think he was THE one for me and that other relationships are just second best :-). I wouldn't let distance stop you from being with someone you really care about...from what you just said if the person you get with next is second best that's just not fair to him...it's one thing if the other person is with someone else I guess or just doesn't want to be with you, but if you guys are still friends and he isn't with someone else I say try to work something out...if I was your boyfriend and I read what you just posted I probably wouldn't want to be with you honestly... Unless when you say 'other relationships' you just mean other PAST relationships?
Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Posted January 24, 2017 No, never. For me, the past is the past. I have trouble understanding people who live in the past.
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