Hally Posted December 30, 2016 Posted December 30, 2016 My ex broke up with me five months ago after a 5 year relationship. After about a week he begged for me back and I took him back. But then it didn't take long for him to end things again after we had an argument. We had an apartment together so I took my things and left. We broke up bc he said he felt "miserable" with me and I think we both stopped making an effort. I was so heartbroken after the breakup that I stupidly went straight back into dating and met a nice guy. We hit it off and while I was getting to know this guy, the pain of missing my ex went away. My ex started begging for me back again about a month after the first breakup but this time I rejected him and said I needed to concentrate on myself for now. He said he understood and that he hoped I would be happy. He then went on to phone me when he was drunk saying he couldn't live without me etc and again I shot him down by saying I couldn't be with anyone right now. So this was 4 months ago and he stopped texting me asking for me back etc and we would just text now and again (maybe twice a month) just about financial issues we had between us that needed tied up. Two months ago I broke it off with this new guy I was seeing bc I started missing my ex terribly. I texted my ex telling him this and he said he was shocked and that he missed me too. He even called me when he was drunk but I was too scared to answer it. He apologised the next day and said he shouldn't have called. We decided to meet for coffee and he looked really good and at peace. And when I brought up the issue of "could we ever get back together" his face dropped and he said he didn't expect me to say that. He said he didn't know what he wanted and that he had a lot to think about regarding us, but that he still had feelings for me and missed me. I was happy enough with this and decided he might need space so I didn't text him much bc I wanted to see if he would come to me. He texted me mid November asking how I was etc but I wasn't getting much conversation from him. We then went about 2 weeks with no contact and I just assumed he was having his time to think. But then the worst thing happened.. I was told he had met someone else and he is pretty smitten with her. My heart had broken all over again. After 5 years together and all the false hope he had given me the last month I feel had just been a massive lie. I texted him when I was drunk and asked if he was seeing someone and he confirmed it. He said he was going to tell me but he didn't know how, but that he still cares deeply for me and wants me to be happy and that I will always have a place in his heart. I told him that I hope he was happy and wished him the best. We didn't speak for another few weeks then he text me wishing me a merry Christmas and that I had a good day. I text him saying I hope he did too. He started joking with me and I sent back laughing face. A couple of days ago he texted me in the middle of the night saying he came across some photos from a vacation we had two years ago and how fun it was. I texted back the next day saying I agreed. He never texted back after that. Now I'm left confused. Why is he texting me like this when he has this new girl? Do you think he still loves me? I don't know what to do.
Ilovepizzalady Posted December 30, 2016 Posted December 30, 2016 I would just back off as he is with someone else. I am going through a similar thing, only he left me for her. I feel like chasing him for me didn't work even though we only had a few casual conversations, it seemed like he is really into her. So my advice is just let it go for now, he knows how you feel.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 31, 2016 Posted December 31, 2016 This will get messy if you don't leave it alone. Don't let him have his cake and eat it too. I think it's time you both moved on. All this back-and-forth, cat-and-mouse texting wouldn't be happening if you two really wanted to be together. If he contacts you again, be clear: you respect the fact that he is seeing someone, and he is not to reach out to you while he is with someone else. He should only get in touch if he is single and wants to talk about reconciliation. End of story. In other words, don't be his text-buddy. It's pointless. Otherwise, you'll fall into believing his nostalgia means he wants to reunite, while he continues dating another girl. That will hurt like hell, and it's not fair to you or to her.
marky00 Posted December 31, 2016 Posted December 31, 2016 Search the Internet for reconciliations that occur after someone essentially confesses they aren't feeling it anymore. I for a long time looked everywhere for such cases and I didn't find one case, zero. Factoring in the fact that a small amount of cases were not reported because why would people report it on the net when they are busy having the time of their lives. That would still represent a tiny proportion. I have been reading posts on this site for years and never seen a reconciliation unfold, although I believe a handful of cases were reported in the Second Chances forum. He might love you to death. He might think your awesome but unless he comes back (which he won't), what does it matter?
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