LuvMyDogMore Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Ok -- I moved across the US to get away from my boyfriend who I've now determined must have Borderline Personality Disorder (thanks to the info provided by the contributors to this site). I've had 100% no contact for two weeks, once I realized his desire to hurt me emotionally was a priority for him. He has since apologized via email (the only thing I cannot block him from thanks to Gmail) for being a foul drunk and sending me a picture of his date, which I ignored/deleted; he tossed out some antagonistic "bait" in a one-line email the following week which I very proudly ignored/deleted. Now, two full weeks later, he sends two angry emails. Almost as though no time has passed at all! He's already dating women, I frankly assumed that alone would cause him to lose interest in goading me with insults. Why? I still cry nearly daily over the loss of him, the loss of a 3.5 year relationship that soured to the point of no return. I've had to post pleas to my friends on FB to please tell me something -- anything -- so I wouldn't reach out to him, tell him I forgive him for what he's done to me. That worked, thankfully. But here he is, probably drinking, sending me insulting emails (which I deleted/ignored). Really? What the hell is going on in his head, can anyone tell me?
Survivor12 Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Only he knows what he is thinking. The important question is what are you thinking? Why are you reading his emails or changing your email address? I know you said that you ignore them, but you're not if you are reading them. Preventing this kind of thing is exactly what NC can prevent. Why are you torturing yourself? Once you stop subjecting yourself to his mind games, you can better focus on putting it all behind you & begin to move on. Good luck. 1
preraph Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Here is how you can bounce emails back to him even on GMail: Mailwasher but you'll have to subscribe. The free version doesn't do that. I used it on a stalker to convince him I didn't even get his mails, but I was reading and saving them for the police. It will look like it couldn't be delivered. Then if you do not want to see these emails, you can opt to have Mailwasher auto-delete them so you don't even see them also. Or if you want to use the free version, you can just have it autodelete them, but then he'll still assume he's getting through to you. I recommend bouncing them. MailWasher Pro | Firetrust 1
Author LuvMyDogMore Posted December 30, 2016 Author Posted December 30, 2016 Thank you both for the reply... Yes, good question, "what am I thinking?" Everyone very simplistically says, "Just don't read what he sends." Seriously? I block everything on social media, block his phone number/texts, tried to put emails into 'junk' but they just won't go. I see his name in my in-box and my heart nearly stops. Of COURSE I have to read what he's sent -- what if it's "I'm so sorry for what I've done, please forgive me?" What if it's "I'm a completely new/better person, not the abusive ******* you loved for 3.5 years?" What if it's "I'm going to quit my amazing job as a federal agent and move across the country to be with you because I've never loved anyone so much?" So -- THAT is what I am thinking when I see his stupid f**king name in my in-box. And the content is NEVER any of the above, it is always something foul and vicious. I reckon I'm just not that bright. Thank you for the info on how to block him from my Gmail; I will totally do this. Everyone [also] asks, "Why don't you just change your email address?" Really? After umpteen years? Yes, this would be a solution, I guess I'm just choosing not to give in to that just yet.
Broncorn Posted January 6, 2017 Posted January 6, 2017 Hi....I am the one who got the fiancee pic from the guy I dated for about 6 weeks. I was mostly angry at his level of dishonesty. For you, with such a long relationship, getting a similar pic had to be so painful. I read your full thread -- you have been through so much. Stand firm. You were not the problem; he took advantage of your kind and caring nature. Would you consider changing his "name" to something else on the email contact so you react less? I changed this dud(e) to "Do Not Answer" in my phone with no alert. (Of course I didn't expect a "new" unrecognized email... not like he has revealed who his is.. chicken **it 55 year old)
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