Jack420 Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Hello fellow love searchers, I've never had a girlfriend and I need your advice now. I need your advice on how to make progress with a girl I met on Tinder. She wrote to me first and then I found out she's going to the same university as I do. We are talking since, sharing laughs, exchanging some basic info about ourselves. I would like to know, how do I proceed when I see her in school (eventually I'll have to do something)? I do like her, she is attractive but as a person I am and my past experiences I will either: a) get friendzoned b) fail to do this thing and we will be only saying 'hi' to each other in the hallway ___________ Basically I need advice how to do this, she is obviously interested and I've never had a girlfriend because of hell knows why. Thank you, ANY information will be helpful.
umirano Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 How to make her want me? You can't [10 char] 1
preraph Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 If you try to be someone you aren't, then you will never find someone who likes you for yourself. So it only makes sense that if you're looking for a relationship, that you just be your best self. That means going the extra mile. Get a professional haircut, make sure your nails are neat and clean, put your best appearance forward with a contemporary outfit, not some old thing you've had for 3 years. I like to suggest you go to a big department store and go to the mens department and tell a clerk there you would like them to pick out a couple of outfits. Give them your budget, and ask them to make you look "current," but also give them some idea of your leanings, though they can probably tell all they need to know by what you come in wearing. Otherwise, personality-wise, just be you, but be your best you. Don't overdo the niceness to the point it seems fake, but give the potential girlfriend the benefit of the doubt and treat her as you would if she turned out to be the real deal. Be mannerly, don't eat like a pig, if no one taught you table etiquette, look it up online. Be sure you're clean and fresh all over and your teeth are well cared for. Be a gentleman, and find out all about her. Not about "Do you like me?" type things because dating is to find that out. But what she likes to do. Share your interests with her. Most people you will date will NOT be the one. So don't feel like a failure at the end of any of them. It's not easy to find someone you want to keep seeing who also wants to keep seeing you and finds you attractive and also wants to make out with you. So don't get tense about that. Just try to relax and have fun and not be clingy or overly excited or act desperate. Just make up your mind that you do not know this person and therefore you cannot possible want her that bad yet, and take some time to get to know her before you let yourself catch feelings.
Lorenza Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 About not getting friendzoned: I've recently met a guy (just for the sake of it) who seem to have lots of female friends but no luck with turning them into girlfriends. From the very first time we talked face-to-face, I immediately realized his mistake and I would probably friendzone him as well if I was at it. His mistake was picking the topics for discussion. He chatted with me as if I was one of his female friends. Revealed info he shouldn't have revealed, shied away from any flirty tease I made etc etc. When he requested a second date, I said nah. So... When you meet her, you can talk casually of course, but don't act like she's one of your fellow uni students. You have to act in a way that's different from treating a buddy. Like subtly touching her (just a light touch on her arm etc). Staring into her eyes a bit longer and smiling. Asking lots of questions about her. Flirt! 3
Kempeitai Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Women are pretty simple with this OP. Women fall in love with their ears. The key is getting your foot in the door to charm those ears. You need to figure out a way to get around her enough to work your magic. 1) Give her attention. 2) Make her feel special. 3) Compliment her. 4) Show affection. 5) Be romantic. 6) Make her laugh. 7) Be consistent. 8) Rense and repeat. Be confident, charming, and funny. You got this. 1
Sweetfish Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Women are pretty simple with this OP. Women fall in love with their ears. The key is getting your foot in the door to charm those ears. You need to figure out a way to get around her enough to work your magic. 1) Give her attention. 2) Make her feel special. 3) Compliment her. 4) Show affection. 5) Be romantic. 6) Make her laugh. 7) Be consistent. 8) Rense and repeat. Be confident, charming, and funny. You got this. Wait what.... how about being in control... You can forget about the 8 methods and just be in control. Be in control of your life, dont be afraid to say no. Ask for favors instead of doing favors for her. Do things and invite 1 girl (not a group) dont worry about making moves.. wait for the moves to come to you. DO NOT BE AN EAR. Take her on an adventure... but it has to be your adventure..
Author Jack420 Posted December 29, 2016 Author Posted December 29, 2016 OP here. Okay I see where you're all aiming. By the title I didn't mean "make her want me", I ment like how to proceed on this thing so that she will eventually like me. I do not by any means intend to act fake ofc. The thing is that I've never had a girlfriend and I've never received so much attention from a girl before. I've always been only a friend, never got any signs and if you understand me atleast a bit, you will know. As I said we met on Tinder, she contacted me first, we found out that we got to same university and then hit it off. _____________________ Now here is the problem: I know how to approach her without being a creep, first approach is going to be normal. I however can't keep any future meetings(dates) interesting, I mean thats what can get you into friendzone, not being interesting --> you don't have much to talk about, she eventually loses interest and you stay friends.
Versacehottie Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 OP, you definitely need to change your mindset. Right now, you have already determined a FAILED outcome--how is that going to help you? leave the past in the past--well rather, learn from it and incorporate things that will help you the next time (THIS TIME). First order of business, get a sh*tload more confidence. Second, when you have that, as Mrin said, ask her out. Good luck
Satu Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Ask her out to something definite and specific: "Would you like to go to/see/do xyz, with me, on whatever day?" Make it something interesting and fun. Don't ask her if she wants to 'hang out.' She's already got people to 'hang out' with. Vague invitations invite vague responses. Be bold. Take care.
Grey40 Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 OP here. Okay I see where you're all aiming. By the title I didn't mean "make her want me", I ment like how to proceed on this thing so that she will eventually like me. I do not by any means intend to act fake ofc. The thing is that I've never had a girlfriend and I've never received so much attention from a girl before. I've always been only a friend, never got any signs and if you understand me atleast a bit, you will know. As I said we met on Tinder, she contacted me first, we found out that we got to same university and then hit it off. _____________________ Now here is the problem: I know how to approach her without being a creep, first approach is going to be normal. I however can't keep any future meetings(dates) interesting, I mean thats what can get you into friendzone, not being interesting --> you don't have much to talk about, she eventually loses interest and you stay friends. How long have you been talking to her on Tinder? The longer you wait to ask her out the more of a friend you become. Talk to her again, wait until the conversation is at a high note, then ask her to go out. Can be as simple as, "hey would you want to grab some drinks at XXX this Friday?" Casual, to the point. Always have a plan in mind for the date or the girl will never commit. Based on how she responds you'll know how you proceed. She'll either be really excited and agree to the date, or she'll come up with some excuse or say "I'll let you know" etc. if she doesn't agree to the date or doesn't offer an alternative time when she's free, then she's not really interested in hanging out at the moment.? 1
Grey40 Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Also, don't overthink the whole being interesting, and thinking about what to say. You're just going to come off nervous and not yourself. The way I handlers the nervous feelings and the "interesting" aspect you talk about is to change your mindset and also simultanesly develop interesting hobbies. For mindset, just keep telling yourself 3 things everyday 1) Don't Be A Pussy, Be A Man 2) I don't care about the outcome of this date 3) I'm here to have a good time You can't go wrong when thise thoughts are internalized. Just have a good time, have fun, be yourself and don't worry whether the girl likes you or not, just relax. There are billions of women in the world, and there's always another one. Just lead the night. Don't look to them to make plans or to guide what your next move should be. don't douse them in compliments and don't hover and smother them. You are the man, she's the one who's nervous--you're a man who has his **** together, knows what he wants and takes care of himself 2
smackie9 Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Ya I have to say, don't try and be her friend and be so available. Make sure she sees you with other girls, make them laugh. Good strong eye contact, don't wait too long to ask her out. If she says no, you never had a chance in the first place....so no point in wasting your engery over weeks of crap to get the same result. BTW you can't force someone to want you...it's either they do or they don't. Girls pretty much know within the first 7 seconds of meeting you whether you are BF material or not.
Grey40 Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Ya I have to say, don't try and be her friend and be so available. Make sure she sees you with other girls, make them laugh. Good strong eye contact, don't wait too long to ask her out. If she says no, you never had a chance in the first place....so no point in wasting your engery over weeks of crap to get the same result. BTW you can't force someone to want you...it's either they do or they don't. Girls pretty much know within the first 7 seconds of meeting you whether you are BF material or not. Yeah the one thing I've come across consistently since I've been in the dating realm is that if a girl likes you and wants to see you, it's pretty blatantly obvious. They won't dodge plans, they won't come up with excuses and they will show up on time and usually be very friendly, courteous and upfront with you. The last women I just met on POF not only agreed to the date, she texted me to confirm plans and she even was against me buying her drinks. I bought the first round, she bought the second. It's amazing how as men we really overthink stuff way too much. We've all been guilty of it. The answer is usually clear as day right under our nose
palmsand Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Probably the first thing to keep in mind with meeting people online is making sure to not message too much or for too long before asking them out. I've heard a guideline of 10 messages or less before asking, generally. What you do say, really think about their interests and demonstrate what you have in common, compliments, joking, etc. When you do ask them out, be direct and decisive. Propose a specific activity, place, and time. If it will be more than a few days before seeing her at school, ask her out sooner independently of school.
2011 Posted December 31, 2016 Posted December 31, 2016 (edited) Hello fellow love searchers, I've never had a girlfriend and I need your advice now. I need your advice on how to make progress with a girl I met on Tinder. She wrote to me first and then I found out she's going to the same university as I do. We are talking since, sharing laughs, exchanging some basic info about ourselves. I would like to know, how do I proceed when I see her in school (eventually I'll have to do something)? I do like her, she is attractive but as a person I am and my past experiences I will either: a) get friendzoned b) fail to do this thing and we will be only saying 'hi' to each other in the hallway ___________ Basically I need advice how to do this, she is obviously interested and I've never had a girlfriend because of hell knows why. Thank you, ANY information will be helpful. Talk to her a bit more, not for long mind you, then say look it's been good talking I need to go now but lets meet up again, when are you free for a drink? Wait for her answer then make a definite date. If she umms and ahhs then say no worries we can do it another time, give her your number and tell her to let you know when she's is free. If she says ok Wednesday, you say ok 5pm, she agrees say ok I'll text where we can meet on the day (somewhere close and easy to get to). Don't stalk her like a puppy dog. Edited December 31, 2016 by 2011
Recommended Posts