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Last Minute Dates in a Relationship


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I have been dating a guy for the past four months and we're now in an exclusive relationship. I'm firmly of the viewpoint that during the dating period, a woman should not accept dates requested at the last minute, although I don't have any rule that the date must be planned a specific number of days in advance. However I haven't been in a serious relationship in a while and have forgotten how things are supposed to go.

 

At the beginning all of our dates were planned in advance. Now that we're in a relationship things are changing to be a lot more last minute. We usually see each other 3-4 times a week. I would say about half of our dates are either planned in advance or our weekly standard movie night, and half are last minute. When I say last minute, typically it's not "are you available right now?" (although a couple of requests have been that), but usually "are you available tonight [in 4-7 hours]?"

 

I don't usually mind accepting these invitations if I am free, but I also am personally more of a planner and would rather know in advance when I am going to see him. I like to schedule things with my friends around the nights when I know I will see him. When I plan the dates, I usually ask him if he's free at least a day in advance. I will say that the vast majority of our dates are initiated by him. We usually have a standard take out and movie night each week, but we're not yet to the "I know we will be getting together on X nights unless one of us informs the other one they are busy" point.

 

How should I be handling things now that we've moved into a new relationship? Thanks!

Posted
I have been dating a guy for the past four months and we're now in an exclusive relationship. I'm firmly of the viewpoint that during the dating period, a woman should not accept dates requested at the last minute, although I don't have any rule that the date must be planned a specific number of days in advance. However I haven't been in a serious relationship in a while and have forgotten how things are supposed to go.

 

At the beginning all of our dates were planned in advance. Now that we're in a relationship things are changing to be a lot more last minute. We usually see each other 3-4 times a week. I would say about half of our dates are either planned in advance or our weekly standard movie night, and half are last minute. When I say last minute, typically it's not "are you available right now?" (although a couple of requests have been that), but usually "are you available tonight [in 4-7 hours]?"

 

I don't usually mind accepting these invitations if I am free, but I also am personally more of a planner and would rather know in advance when I am going to see him. I like to schedule things with my friends around the nights when I know I will see him. When I plan the dates, I usually ask him if he's free at least a day in advance. I will say that the vast majority of our dates are initiated by him. We usually have a standard take out and movie night each week, but we're not yet to the "I know we will be getting together on X nights unless one of us informs the other one they are busy" point.

 

How should I be handling things now that we've moved into a new relationship? Thanks!

 

You express your wants/needs/desires/preferences and observe whether he is willing/able to accommodate or at least compromise. Communicate.

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