Jump to content

Should i dump my non-boyfriend

snowPanda

By snowPanda
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
Posted

Warning bad grammar ahead!:sick::sick:

 

My mind is a bit clouded by my attraction to this guy so i humbly ask whoever is reading this your thoughts. Kinda hard for me to judge as i am the one living this position.

 

Short notes: im a 20y old student leeching off my parents and "Max"(favorite dog name) is a 19y who lives(40miles from me) with his no good dad and works full time, saving for his own place and weed:rolleyes:.

 

I have met this guy on a dating app.. classy i know. He took public transport all the way to my place and slept over, we had a very fun (PG) first date and the guy was seriously cute and told me that he wanted to keep seeing me. NOW we kept texting for a week until i got a message "Stop texting i have a gf" ... turned out he was still in a relationship the whole time. I didn't bother and just deleted him.

 

i got a text a year later when his girl broke up with him. He wanted me to come pick him up(cause he has zero money according to him) and spent time with him saying i wont regret it. Still remembering his pretty face i told him i said sure but you come and i''ll drive you home(not permitted with my licence ). We spent some (PG)days together and he got along with my family and just seemed really at home when he started smoking weed in my yard.

 

Now he now texts me everyday and asks me to come pick him since he wants to spend time together, but he has no money for transport. He has some nice qualities and really Isn't a bad person but i feel leeched on. I already paid for some meals, drinks, alcohol and gas money and i know the double standard where nobody blinks an eye if a guy paid everything for the girl but he doesn't even want to go dutch...

 

I'm not yet that invested in him(only seeing him 1month), would just be a bummer to never ever see him again.

He really is fun to have around and says all the right lines, just feels like im paying for his time ... like a male escort kinda but not really:(

  • Author
snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Haha almost did and still sounds tempting tbh. Should have done that the first week, now it just seems a bit too late?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

You don't have to dump him. Just tell him that the next few dates and transport arrangements are on him. I promise you will never see him again.

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
Warning bad grammar ahead!:sick::sick:

 

My mind is a bit clouded by my attraction to this guy so i humbly ask whoever is reading this your thoughts. Kinda hard for me to judge as i am the one living this position.

 

Short notes: im a 20y old student leeching off my parents and "Max"(favorite dog name) is a 19y who lives(40miles from me) with his no good dad and works full time, saving for his own place and weed:rolleyes:.

 

I have met this guy on a dating app.. classy i know. He took public transport all the way to my place and slept over, we had a very fun (PG) first date and the guy was seriously cute and told me that he wanted to keep seeing me. NOW we kept texting for a week until i got a message "Stop texting i have a gf" ... turned out he was still in a relationship the whole time. I didn't bother and just deleted him.

 

i got a text a year later when his girl broke up with him. He wanted me to come pick him up(cause he has zero money according to him) and spent time with him saying i wont regret it. Still remembering his pretty face i told him i said sure but you come and i''ll drive you home(not permitted with my licence ). We spent some (PG)days together and he got along with my family and just seemed really at home when he started smoking weed in my yard.

 

Now he now texts me everyday and asks me to come pick him since he wants to spend time together, but he has no money for transport. He has some nice qualities and really Isn't a bad person but i feel leeched on. I already paid for some meals, drinks, alcohol and gas money and i know the double standard where nobody blinks an eye if a guy paid everything for the girl but he doesn't even want to go dutch...

 

I'm not yet that invested in him(only seeing him 1month), would just be a bummer to never ever see him again.

He really is fun to have around and says all the right lines, just feels like im paying for his time ... like a male escort kinda but not really:(

 

Paleeze. If you enjoy being a sugar-mama, a chauffeur, mother and sex buddy. You are allowing him to use you.

 

like a male escort kinda but not really -- Yes . . . really.

  • Author
snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You don't have to dump him. Just tell him that the next few dates and transport arrangements are on him. I promise you will never see him again.
How should i say that? his first response would be "But you know i really can't afford it right now, come on"
  • Author
snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Paleeze. If you enjoy being a sugar-mama, a chauffeur, mother and sex buddy. You are allowing him to use you.

 

like a male escort kinda but not really -- Yes . . . really.

Ugh you're right (except the sexbuddy part) just want to believe he will suddenly change once he gets his salary :sick::sick:

  • Author
snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Response: "Not my problem bro! I am not your mama. Get a job!"
:laugh: haha but he has a full time job! that's the another part that confuses me. but you guys are right, i'm not paying for the next couple of dates... Just really had to hear it from other people, never been in the mother position before.
  • Author
snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Is he getting his salary from a Nigerian prince?

Nah he would first have to pay the prince, no way he "could afford that right now":rolleyes:

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted (edited)
Ugh you're right (except the sexbuddy part) just want to believe he will suddenly change once he gets his salary :sick::sick:

 

he will suddenly change -- Said every woman who was with a man who showed her "who" he was early in the relationship and she kept waiting for the "sudden" change to occur. No self-respecting man and who respects women would do what he's been doing regardless of his financial status. Most "real" men would rather sleep under a bridge and do any kind of job(s) he could get to get back on his feet before he would ask a woman to come get him, smoke weed in her yard (which usually costs money???), and let her pay for everything.

 

What you see now is as "good as it gets" . . . and likely why his last girlfriend hit the bricks.

 

once he gets his salary -- Tell him to call you after he's been earning a salary for a few years . . .

Edited by Redhead14
  • Like 4
winny Established Member

winny

Posted
Posted

Please get rid of him asap.

He will use you and when he is done he will move on to someone else.

He was talking to you when he had a GF. Must be talking to other girls too right now.

I knew one guy like this.

He felt proud that he is so great that girls are paying for his time.... he sometimes called himself a male-whore and laughed like he is so awesome and unlike other guys he doesn't have to do a thing. And some how he found girls who were willing to pay and give him rides. I used to tease him that while he is at it can he get the girls to buy me some stuff.... :lmao:

 

Anyways, point is - he is useless. Dump him.

  • Author
snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Full time job as what ... a weed dealer?
He has a construction job, i always believed they got paid a lot for their hard work:eek:

 

after being fed and sexed. Tell him you are just too young to be a sugar mama and he can contact you after you are 80.
He actually did ask me multiple times to cook and make him coffee since i'm the girl..:sick:
Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
He has a construction job, i always believed they got paid a lot for their hard work:eek:

 

He actually did ask me multiple times to cook and make him coffee since i'm the girl..:sick:

 

The guy is a parasite. He has a construction job? -- more likely he has an erector set or lincoln logs.

  • Like 2
  • Author
snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Please get rid of him asap.

He will use you and when he is done he will move on to someone else.

He was talking to you when he had a GF. Must be talking to other girls too right now.

I knew one guy like this.

He felt proud that he is so great that girls are paying for his time.... he sometimes called himself a male-whore and laughed like he is so awesome and unlike other guys he doesn't have to do a thing. And some how he found girls who were willing to pay and give him rides. I used to tease him that while he is at it can he get the girls to buy me some stuff.... :lmao:

 

Anyways, point is - he is useless. Dump him.

Fact that he had a GF was the reason i got over him in a heartbeat.

Haha damn that actually really hurt to read, knowing i'm one of the used girls. Feel kinda silly i let everything happen :o

  • Like 1
TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

Posted
Posted

 

I have met this guy on a dating app.. classy i know. He took public transport all the way to my place and slept over, we had a very fun (PG) first date and the guy was seriously cute and told me that he wanted to keep seeing me. NOW we kept texting for a week until i got a message "Stop texting i have a gf" ... turned out he was still in a relationship the whole time. I didn't bother and just deleted him.

 

I like how you seem to forget this part. Like everything is okay now. Dump this guy

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
Fact that he had a GF was the reason i got over him in a heartbeat.

Haha damn that actually really hurt to read, knowing i'm one of the used girls. Feel kinda silly i let everything happen :o

 

Look at it as a life lesson . . . and be happy you learned it now instead of months or even years later.

  • Like 1
  • Author
snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Look at it as a life lesson . . . and be happy you learned it now instead of months or even years later.

Is there somewhere a book on life lessons about relationships? could really use it :laugh:

winny Established Member

winny

Posted
Posted
Is there somewhere a book on life lessons about relationships? could really use it :laugh:

 

work on yourself. he is using you but its you who is allowing that.

why is it? are you insecure or fear something? all answers lie within you.

when you love yourself the most you will automatically get rid of anything that is not good for you including such parasites.

do some self reflection to understand what makes you agree to his wishes.

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
Is there somewhere a book on life lessons about relationships? could really use it :laugh:

 

Nope. Experience is the best educator. You put your hand in the fire . . . ONCE. The people who keep doing it are either slow learners, numb to pain or just plain stupid.

  • Like 1
Fruitee Established Member

Fruitee

Posted
Posted

Yep as all others said this dude is using you and probably many others as well and saving up all of his money for something. Soon enough you can see him travelling around the globe and you being broke. Leave him. Now.

Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

Posted
Posted
he will suddenly change -- Said every woman who was with a man who showed her "who" he was early in the relationship and she kept waiting for the "sudden" change to occur. No self-respecting man and who respects women would do what he's been doing regardless of his financial status. Most "real" men would rather sleep under a bridge and do any kind of job(s) he could get to get back on his feet before he would ask a woman to come get him, smoke weed in her yard (which usually costs money???), and let her pay for everything.

 

What you see now is as "good as it gets" . . . and likely why his last girlfriend hit the bricks.

 

once he gets his salary -- Tell him to call you after he's been earning a salary for a few years . . .

 

He probably WON'T change once he gets a job. Why should he? You are already fine paying for stuff and acting like his bankroll. If he was serious about you, he wouldn't leech off you because it would be embarrassing to him for you to view him like that (i.e. he would be thinking farther along than just getting what he wants immediately). He is a loser at this point in his life--don't let him bring you down with him. Move on. No explanation necessarily!! But if you want to say something just tell him you've lost interest or are dating someone else as well and have decided to stick with that guy. I don't think you need to lie so you could also say the truth: that you are looking for someone who offers "more"/ more value to your life and it seems like you two want different things. Don't be the easy fall-back girl. he is not offering you more. Don't hang in there and hope he steps up. Step back from anything with him and if he comes back offering more for real you can consider it at that time. Good luck

GunslingerRoland Established Member

GunslingerRoland

Posted
Posted

Are you guys going to move past PG at some point.... because otherwise you are friends, and it's okay to have friends. Even if they aren't perfect.

 

I don't think anything you've said about him, would make me recommend you actually dating him though.

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
Are you guys going to move past PG at some point.... because otherwise you are friends, and it's okay to have friends. Even if they aren't perfect.

 

I don't think anything you've said about him, would make me recommend you actually dating him though.

 

She is allowing this "friend" to use her though. He is using her and I sure as heck don't want a "friend" who does that and takes advantage or even has that mentality in my circle.

VeveCakes Established Member

VeveCakes

Posted
Posted

If he works full time construction then he has money, he just doesn't want to spend it on you.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

look, one thing you know about this guy for sure is he will cheat on his girlfriend. That means he will also cheat on you. Also, he's a mooch. At your age, a lot of people are mooches, so it's maybe not that egregious, but it's also not the way to get off on the right foot and gain the respect of any male letting them take advantage of you and cheat on their gf with you and then tell you to go away and then come back and then take advantage of you some more.

 

It's time to sit down and write out some boundaries. You're not old enough to have learned these lessons the hard way, so I'll get you started.

 

Don't give more than you are getting back. The earlier you are in a relationship or nonrelationship, the more important that is. It is desperate and even though some clown is perfectly willing to take your handouts, it makes them feel less of a man and they'll blame YOU for that. So don't give more than he gives.

 

Keep your eyes wide open and don't wait until you're about to explode to ream him about anything rude or egregious he does that is disrespectful to you, like sneak around with other women, like disappearing whenever he wants while still leeching off you, like putting YOU at risk because he wants to get FUBAR'd in the front yard. Call him out. Don't be silent about stuff that bothers you.

 

If he talks to you and tries to put you down, dump him.

If he tries to get you to stop seeing family or friends, dump him. That's the first step to control and abuse.

If he ever makes eyes at your close friend, dump him before he causes you to lose a friend.

If he won't do his part around the house, get him out of your house.

Remember that whatever precedents you set in the early days, you will never be able to change. So just because you're inclined to let things slide for whatever reason, don't do it or if the relationship continues, you will always have these disadvantages. Expect from him what you'd want from any keeper. Get him out of your life if he doesn't add up to clear the path for one who does.

 

Good luck. Stay single. Go have fun for at least 10 years.

  • Author
snowPanda Member

snowPanda

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you so much for putting a light on the situation and help me pull a weed from my now prettier garden:love:

 

For those who are curious how it went...

Forgot to mention that he constantly mentioned his ex(broke up 4 months ago, he did something awful but never told me what). I just messaged him that we could no longer go on and he replied with lots of laughter saying that i wasn't his type anyway. He also wrote that he was just searching someone to be around to not think of his ex.

 

This is now the end of a tale where i'm a rebound, got away from this with a small scratch. Once again, THANK YOU LOVELY SOULS, happy new year :)

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...