alexdusty Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 My girlfriend (18) broke up with me (20) around 2 weeks ago. I was pretty hurt, but since the days have gone by I've dealt with it very well and I have accepted the breakup, started moving on, etc. A long time friend (18) of hers (let's call her "A") recently broke up with her boyfriend as well, around 4 months ago. Anyways. While my ex and I were dating, we would often hang out with A and I couldn't help but develop a tiny crush on her. She would flirt with me a lot, show interest in me, and even tried to kiss me once at a party we were at. She is honestly so absolutely beautiful, as the exact same interests in me, and she is a very lovely kind and caring women. I started having feelings for her maybe 6 - 8 months ago, but I never pursued anything out of bounds, I put it in the back of my head and continued life with my ex. After my break up 2 weeks ago, I couldn't help but instantly think of A. She was single and so was I. As I am not hung up on my ex, I decided to send a text to A asking if she wanted to have a phone call. I called her last night and we spoke about my recent break up, and how I was coping etc, as well as other things. She was unbelievably kind to me, caring and friendly. She also told me that my ex and her have not been friends for a while now, and that they don't desire each others friendship anymore due to a series of events and arguments that occurred a while back. She even admitted she had a feelings for me at the same time I did earlier this year. I subtly asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime next week, and she simply told me she will let me know, and her answer is a maybe. She brought up the fact that she would feel terrible knowing she was hanging out with her "friend"'s ex boyfriend, even though they we're at each others throats lately. I simply said that's okay if she feels like that. I feel like an absolute scumbag for "wanting" my ex's girlfriend only 2 weeks after my break up. And I don't know how to proceed from here. I can't help feel completely adored by her. It's insane. I called her last night because I had a sudden burst of confident, and energy. A voice in my head said "just go for it. if she doesn't seem interested, you haven't lost anything" and I proceeded from there. She hasn't texted me anything today so I feel like i messed up. I don't know if I should never talk to her again or bring up casual conversation in a few days or weeks.
stillafool Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 She's thinking it over. Hit her up again. Your ex broke up with you, they are no longer friends, she admitted she liked you too. Go for it.
dpass Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Two weeks is too soon. If anything, she is going to be a rebound. That isn't fair to her or you. Dating an ex's friend is generally a no-no. I have been in a relationship with my best friends ex for a year. They had a long relationship, and a child, and we have been best friends for over a decade. All parties are fine with it, so it works. But you have to remember, if they stay friends (or become friends again) your ex is forever in your life. That is the main reason I would not be okay with a friend dating one of my ex's.
QueenDafine Posted December 30, 2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Two weeks is way too early to move on, and towards your ex ' s friend? Scummy move in my opinion. Do whatever makes you happy I guess, but don't expect your ex to be chummy about this, or that there won't be any repercussions. You should realize that this could also hurt the best friend in the long run!
brianalex Posted December 30, 2016 Posted December 30, 2016 I agree with @dpass Getting back with an ex may look like a good idea. But generally is not! Moreover, you are still upset. Any major decision at this time is usually not ideal. I suggest you to wait a few weeks and then decide. All the best!
winny Posted December 30, 2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Hey Alex, I think you should go slow. Let another 2-3 weeks go and then reach out to her again.
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