BadMistakes Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 This isn't about a break up as I haven't broken up. But I've been together with a girl now for 3 months going onto 4 and we've been officially together for about 1.5 months. We've had ups & downs and she does have a bit of a temper sometimes however she expressed to me she likes me very much, she's always talking to me, always wants to see me, she'll do lovely things for me and says in return she wants me to be nice to her and not change, I'm generally nice with her unless something really makes me upset as I used to be angry/short tempered in previous relationships. Now to cut a long story short, I was around her place for 3-4 days last week and on Christmas Eve which is also her birthday I had to go home to see family, take care of some things and then head out...she said be back to mine by "5/6pm" I said alright, however in my stupidity I got caught up with family too much and told her I'm heading over to hers around 5:30pm but I didn't get there until 7:30pm this made her VERY angry and she was in a off mood with me. All night she was being like this, making digs at me etc or just not speaking...then later we went to a club and we were fine for a while until later on some complication happened (something about drinks from another table which I was told I could drink) so she took me over to the entrance of the club and then said she has to speak with me, I went I tried to explain why I was drinking those drinks and then she got really aggressive and violent (biting me) then told me to f off so I went with her to speak and she turned and slapped me....this shocked me and soon after it was time for us to leave the club. We had a big argument in the cab home where she continued to try and hit me, call me stupid...eventually I grabbed her arms and then told her firmly to stop and we got home. I was pretty upset by all of this and we had an argument at home too, eventually we "spoke" about things and next day things seemed okay, but we had guests coming over so we couldn't discuss anything fully. Yesterday morning I was also at her place and we tried to talk however she didn't seem too responsive, we were watching TV a movie called Beethovan was on TV and she asked if I know this movie...I said "No, isn't it an artist?" This is where things really make me confused She took my words and started to act as if I said I don't know the Classical artist and then from this exchange she went on to put me down in every aspect, saying "you're so uneducated, what do you learn in school here, what do you do with your life, what do you know how to do?" etc a whole array of things...and let it be known her occupation is much lower than mine but I never put her down, however she finds these things that I say, takes them out of context and then makes it look like I'm stupid or an idiot and just don't know anything about anything... For the rest of that day she's just been treating me off and cold not speaking a lot with me and acting very odd, in bed she was sleeping WAY over to the other side, usually she sleeps right next to me cuddling.... I tried to speak to her about things and she just smiled and said nothing is wrong and that by asking I'm making her feel like something is wrong...however I wasn't born yesterday and can tell something is very wrong! I don't know what to do as I really like this girl a lot
VeveCakes Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Whats there to speak about? She physically assaulted you, belittled you, and now basically calling you a moron. SO whats the attraction here? You should have left her at the club and never spoken to her again. Waste of your time and life to be with someone like this. 3
IfonlyIknew Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 OMG she is ruthless and extremely abusive. The title of your thread makes it sound like a different story, I think she hates herself. No loving human being would do those kinds of things!!! She needs help!
Author BadMistakes Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 Whats there to speak about? She physically assaulted you, belittled you, and now basically calling you a moron. SO whats the attraction here? You should have left her at the club and never spoken to her again. Waste of your time and life to be with someone like this. I don't know...because it's not always like this, there are a lot of times when things are good with her and she's really sweet to me, I know she has a short temper however I think with me it's even shorter. I also deep down know she doesn't have any respect for me and tbh I think I'm in need to have someone + she is very attractive (I know it's shalow to say that but it still counts)
LostOnes05 Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I don't know...because it's not always like this, there are a lot of times when things are good with her and she's really sweet to me, I know she has a short temper however I think with me it's even shorter. I also deep down know she doesn't have any respect for me and tbh I think I'm in need to have someone + she is very attractive (I know it's shalow to say that but it still counts) I don't know...because it's not always like this You sure??? I also deep down know she doesn't have any respect for me Now we're talking!! And you'd be absolutely correct. I think I'm in need to have someone + she is very attractive Need to have someone?? Dude this is "Whiskey-Turtle-Foxtrot" (take the first letters of those words)...be advised, abort mission. She is abusive. Just imagine the monster you would be called if you were to do the things she has done to you. Do you enjoy your freedom? And I don't mean in the relationship..I mean like losing it because of prison. If not send her this and be on your way... http://www.kidzone.ws/puzzles/cryptogram/crypto.asp She's smart , she'll figure it out
VeveCakes Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Yes so this is what it is like to be with an abuser. When its great its GREAT and when its not, you are getting hit, yelled at, embarrassed, threatened etc. Good looks are not worth this nightmare. 2
travelbug1996 Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Why do you let her treat you like a POS? You have to get your self worth up or its gonna be way worse than this. Good looks? That's not enough to be abused. 2
Author BadMistakes Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 OMG she is ruthless and extremely abusive. The title of your thread makes it sound like a different story, I think she hates herself. No loving human being would do those kinds of things!!! She needs help! Yeah to a degree she does tbh, the situation is quite complicated she was abused as a child and also currently in her life this whole week she has been upset as she hasn't been able to spend time with her family for Christmas as they're in a different country and she is here working to help them, she also has a daughter I don't know...because it's not always like this You sure??? I also deep down know she doesn't have any respect for me Now we're talking!! And you'd be absolutely correct. I think I'm in need to have someone + she is very attractive Need to have someone?? Dude this is "Whiskey-Turtle-Foxtrot" (take the first letters of those words)...be advised, abort mission. She is abusive. Just imagine the monster you would be called if you were to do the things she has done to you. Do you enjoy your freedom? And I don't mean in the relationship..I mean like losing it because of prison. If not send her this and be on your way... http://www.kidzone.ws/puzzles/cryptogram/crypto.asp She's smart , she'll figure it out That link isn't working yeah there is that happening when I do some things wrong she does get frustrated really quickly and I don't know what I mean by need someone...maybe I mean that I feel lonely my circle of friends has gotten smaller as I've gotten older to the point where it's non-existent. Tbh I wasn't even planning on having a relationship but as I said a lot of the times things aren't that bad, she goes to great measures to do things for me, she shows me that she cares about me a lot too. I just don't know what happened this week, I acted an idiot to being drunk and arguing like a child...We've spoke about her temper before and she has said it's a problem she's trying to work on as she understands that I am nice to her Yes so this is what it is like to be with an abuser. When its great its GREAT and when its not, you are getting hit, yelled at, embarrassed, threatened etc. Good looks are not worth this nightmare. Yeah maybe, but like I said above it isn't like this regularly, she's been going through a lot maybe in her head and she takes it out on me maybe IDK...but even when she does it doesn't last long however this weekend she's been acting different especially last night, so I don't know what to do Why do you let her treat you like a POS? You have to get your self worth up or its gonna be way worse than this. Good looks? That's not enough to be abused. I don't know tbh, I do put a line down and that's why we argue sometimes but in general I just want to be nice to her as I know a lot of the things she's dealing with and call me stupid but I can see she's not a bad person
VeveCakes Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 It's never OK. End of story. She needs therapy and you arent the one to save her. 1
Author BadMistakes Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 It's never OK. End of story. She needs therapy and you arent the one to save her. But on what basis can you say this? Just asking out of curiosity...
VeveCakes Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 But on what basis can you say this? Just asking out of curiosity... On the basis that I have a brain. Physical abuse is NEVER ok. Someone her age and a relationship that new? Yeah, it's not going to go away on it's own. You said she was abused as a kid, she needs therapy as this is effecting her life and clearly her relationships. If you want to continue being treated like **** then hey have at it. 1
Teddius Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 You're absolutely right! Something is wrong all right, severely wrong! Accepting her caustic, volatile mistreatment and making excuses to justify it projects an inferior tolerance to be with her, which may highly likely increase her disesteem of you. And sure, sure, she may care for you, but her actions says otherwise. She doesn't respect you and therefor doesn't view you as her equal, which may prompt her to repeat such abuse and, or eventually cutting her ties with you. Let her go. It's not a match, which you are well aware of. 1
preraph Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 You ruined her birthday! She should never talk to you again, but she shouldn't be hitting you.
Author BadMistakes Posted December 29, 2016 Author Posted December 29, 2016 On the basis that I have a brain. Physical abuse is NEVER ok. Someone her age and a relationship that new? Yeah, it's not going to go away on it's own. You said she was abused as a kid, she needs therapy as this is effecting her life and clearly her relationships. If you want to continue being treated like **** then hey have at it. I hear you and you're probably right but I don't know what to do really, we were drinking etc and she did say she feels bad about it, IDK! You're absolutely right! Something is wrong all right, severely wrong! Accepting her caustic, volatile mistreatment and making excuses to justify it projects an inferior tolerance to be with her, which may highly likely increase her disesteem of you. And sure, sure, she may care for you, but her actions says otherwise. She doesn't respect you and therefor doesn't view you as her equal, which may prompt her to repeat such abuse and, or eventually cutting her ties with you. Let her go. It's not a match, which you are well aware of. But that's the thing, I don't think it's not a match...we get along as if we've known each other for years and years. I've never been this comfortable with someone before and she feels the same...I know she has pent up anger sometimes and maybe a lot of things are bothering her which is why she acts like this.... You ruined her birthday! She should never talk to you again, but she shouldn't be hitting you. That's a bit extreme The main thing I really want to know guys is what to do really, last time I saw her she was acting cold, sleeping WAY over to the other side of the bed and when I asked what's wrong she wouldn't really speak just saying nothing is wrong and laughing a little saying "it's not you it's me" and during the day she has been off with me... I haven't contacted her today or anything, I was thinking to get her some roses and a gift when she is out for work as I have her house keys and I didn't buy her anything for her birthday...I know this seems like a mistake thing to do but it's how I feel atm... :/
TheTraveler Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 After getting bit, told to F off, and slapped I would have taken a cab ride home to wherever you live.
basil67 Posted December 29, 2016 Posted December 29, 2016 Yeah to a degree she does tbh, the situation is quite complicated she was abused as a child and also currently in her life this whole week she has been upset as she hasn't been able to spend time with her family for Christmas as they're in a different country and she is here working to help them, she also has a daughter Not your problem
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